What Sarai and I did definitely wasn't my first fight. My first fight was with the white wooden track hurdle that Mr. Adaribe had us jump over for practice. I followed the rules, I followed the technique, and yet when I jumped over the white hurdle I didn't land on my feet but instead my face. The hurdle basically bitched slapped me and said "not today," which sent me straight to the burgundy concrete that was the track. I thought I died for a second, I thought I had seen the light and my great grandmother, but no I was completely alive and laying on the track in front of my fit muscley teammates.
As I slowly got up Mr. Adaribe began clapping. "See that's a fall, right there, you can only go up from there now." I got up and saw his big smile. To him the fall wasn't something to be embarrassed about, it was a lesson that would lead us towards accomplishing our goals. The little piece of failure we needed to reach our success. When he dragged the hurdles onto the track he announced that he wanted us to fall, to fail, to hit the ground. Not because we were annoying, but because we needed to be humbled just a bit. In his own words, "We needed to be comfortable falling no matter how hard we hit the ground." But that was easier for him to say because he wasn't the one jumping, he was just standing by the fence often eating cheese its or talking to the other coaches that walked by.
I dusted my knees and headed to my water bottle while Mr. Adaribe put the hurdles back up for the girls behind me. I drank every drop left and looked around at the school hoping knowone saw that fall. I thought I was slick looking around and downing my water at the same time but when my eyes landed back on the track I could see Mr. Adaribe shaking his head.
"You looking to see if any cute boys saw you fall?" he asked before blowing his whistle for the next group of hurdlers or fallers.
I only had the energy to slowly shake my head.
Mr. Adaribe gestured to the perimeter of the track. "Then why you look around?'
Just like Vince would do when Mr. Adaribe would ask why he wasn't performing the best, I shrugged.
He stopped looking at me for a second as one girl got bitched slapped by the hurdles as well. The only difference between her fall was there wasn't a big thump and her face never made contact with the crowd. Mr. Adarible still clapped, but not as loudly as he done for me.
He gestured at the school outside of the football field where few students passed by. "The whole school, no better yet, the whole world saw you, now what?" He asked his smile now gone.
My first instinct was to shrug but Instead opted for an actual answer. "Now I wait until the moment passes and I can stop feeling embarrassed."
"No," Coach hissed. "You don't care what the whole world thinks." He shook his head in disgust and blew his whistle again. "Price, give me another fall, and remember the whole world is watching you, but it does not matter."
I did what he said besides remembering everyone and their mother's were looking at me. I did the hurdle again and she bitched slapped me but not as hard as the first time. My body conflated with the concrete but my face was safe. My body still slapped the shit out of the track so Mr. Adaribe did clap before he blew his lucky whistle again.
When practice ended and I was downing my water bottle on the bleachers I spotted Harper in her soccer uniform separating from her teammates. I could've texted her, but instead of being a normal teenager in 2023 I stood up and waved. Which was odd, considering in our friendship dynamic she was the outgoing one who had to loudly yell my name. But change was good, I guess. A few of her soccer friends turned and looked at me with a weird face, like they hadn't been spending every lunch break with me. In their defense I didn't talk much and most of the time just silently ate my sandwich, but still they knew my face and didn't have to look at me like I was their stalker. Harper caught my eye and smiled saying something to her teammates who wandered in the direction of the locker rooms.
Clutching her gym bag she ran up the bleacher steps with ease. Her face was a light red color but she wasn't sweating buckets like I was. She looked like the true athlete while I just resembled a chubby kid who was forced to run track and fall over hurdles for a donut. This was why in 8th grade when I told Harper I wanted to join the track team in highschool she didn't believe me and laughed which hurt my unathletic heart. In part I think her laughter and shock was the reason I stayed on even when my thighs were chafing and I was the last one to cross the finish line.
"I'm glad I saw you today, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," Harper said sitting right next me. She was smiling from cheek to cheek but her words didn't seem so genuine, especially considering she probably wouldn't have been sitting next to me if I didn't stand up and wave at her like some obsessed fan.
All of these thoughts left my mind when Harper turned her body to me with a big exciting smile. She wasn't looking at the field, her teammates, just me. "Guess what we're doing Friday?"
I thought abut my nextflix queue and the emptiness of my mom's house. "Homework?" I asked.
"No the soccer team is having a party at Cameron's and everyone's going." She stopped looking at me and with the wind her eyes drifted to the field where some of her teammates sat around on their phones.
"I don't really like people that much, so a place where everyone is, isn't really my thing." I followed Harper's eyes to the field to one particular player who was laying on her stomach scrolling through her phone. Her skin looked like she had just returned from bali and her hair was just one shade darker than Harper's. So this was Sadie. Harper couldn't take her eyes off of her.
I waited for Harper to tell me "no, Daya you're coming to the party," but her eyes never fluttered back to me. Sadie had captivated her and she didn't even know it. She was just chilling on the terf glued to her phone unaware there was a girl sitting in the bleachers ignoring her best friend just to steal glances at her.
"I'm coming to the party," I announced shaking Harper's attention just a bit. I had been to any highschool party. There were times when I begged Vince to take me, but he wouldn't budge. When I thought about it my last party had to be one of Harper's birthdays when there was a big cake, parents, and no alcohol.
I could tell she didn't want to pull her eyes away from Sadie but she relented and looked at me halfheartedly. "Right yeah, okay come over to my place and maybe we can get ready together oh and my mom just wants to see you you know she loves you."
"Right," I said and Harper stood up grabbing her gym bag. She gave me one little wave before heading down the bleachers and to the field where she joined Sadie. All the laughs I thought we would have I saw explode from her body as she sat across Sadie. I liked seeing her laugh, seeing Harper's face turn red with glee and excitement, but I couldn't help the knife dipped in envy that stabbed at my heart. She didn't grab her gym bag and run to a club or meeting, she dashed less than 10 kilometers from me to a girl who could've been her cousin.
Sitting on the bleachers alone with my water bottle wasn't something new to me. During Vince's football career I had spent countless afternoons stuck to an uncomfortable bench waiting for my brother's practice to be over. The key difference I guess was that Vince always knew I was there waiting for him. He would send me texts when he took water breaks or wave at me, validating my presence, and appreciating my presence. But Harper was consumed by Sadie's eyes and her smile and all of the small details of Sadie's presence that I thought she would tell me about. Just like Ziyah did the day before Harper seamlessly pushed one of Sadie's golden strands back behind her ears. It was then that I choked down my envy and hoped to find what Harper had found, and remembered all the times as kids Harper and I dreamed of being cool highschool kids who got to kiss and love and be happy. I was happy for her.
