redamancy | miya

2.

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esra laid down on her bed, with her hand behind her head, her phone in the other. she sighed, looking at 'papaya's' contact. conflicted, she tapped on it.

seen 7h ago.

"why didn't he respond?" she scrolled up and read their chat again, a smile forming on her lips when she played his voice notes again.

'will it seem desperate if i text him? i mean my last text didn't really seem like one that could be given a response to, right? or maybe he's having a hard time? or maybe he just.. forgot?'

esra swallowed the lump in her throat, blinking away the tears forming in her eyes. she felt pathetic, waiting on a guy who'd forget about her. but why was she upset? they weren't even dating.

why did her heart hurt? why was she waiting on him? why..?

she was not his type and he didn't see her anything more than a sideline. she knew that but there was a tiny hope in her heart that she could change how he saw her.

aaron was the first guy that she ever got close to and that made her attachment issues go through the roof. she didn't want to let him go but he didn't have a hard time when it came to leaving her on read for hours or even going for days without talking to her.

but there she was, on the other side of the screen, her heart burning with pain and her eyes stinging with tears, feeling pathetic for even thinking that she was important to him. she tried multiple ways to get him to consider her as a close friend; even with her protective brothers behind her, she got him gifts and told him how important he was to her at random.

aaron was grateful for all of it but for some reason, esra never felt like it was enough. if it was enough, he would've responded to her by now.

she sighed and put her phone down.

'he'll come around.. right?' she stared at the ceiling as her worries grew even more,

'maybe i should check up on him.'

aaron?
are you okay?

pathetic. pathetic. pathetic. pathetic. pathetic.

hey
yeah im fine
jus need some time alone

pathetic. pathetic. why are you even trying. pathetic, he's lying. you don't matter to him. stop trying. he hates you. he forgot about you.

oh no thats okayy
take care okay?

yea i will
u too esra

talk to you soon :)

yea u too

she sighed and kept her phone against her chest. after a minute of silence, her phone rang. it was audrey. being the introvert she was, she declined the call and went to her chat to see that she had invited her to her bakery for some cooking.

you can eat the treats too <3
i made too much for one person lol
and i wanted to call you since you were the first person that came to mind

esra figured she could use some company and she'd rather not delve into her isolation, so she agreed to go in the evening.

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the bakery shone a bright pink hue on the dark pavement of the street in front of her. esra ended up going at midnight as her planned nap of two hours ended up being six hours in total.

audrey was being a darling about it and she kept reassuring her that she would still be in the bakery after it closes as she wanted to try out some new recipes. esra's heart filled with guilt so much that her chest physically hurt.

the bell chimed as esra walked in. the sweet smell of pastries filled her nose and she took it all in. the warmth surrounded her, the cold from the outside world immediately melting. she took off her jacket and kept it on one of the empty chairs before walking into the kitchen behind the counter.

there she was, with her iconic beige apron around her waist. esra watched as audrey carefully designed the cupcakes on the counter with pink icing. as she sensed a presence in the room, she looked over her shoulder to see her friend standing near the doorway.

a big smile formed on her lips as her dimples showed on the side of her cheek. she dropped the piping bag and wiped her hands on her apron before running to esra and tackling her into a big hug.

"i missed you!" audrey laughed.

esra tightly gave it back, "i missed you more."

they both let go and audrey led her to the counter where all her pastries were lined up. she cut a piece of the brownie she had made in a tray and held it up for esra to take a bite, which she did. she hummed in satisfaction,

"that's so good, dude, what the fuck."

audrey giggled, "so.." she handed her the brownie, ".. tell me everything about this week."

"well, to be honest, this has been the most exhausting week of my life." she sighed, taking another bite of the brownie, "but at least i get to enjoy this with you and i'll probably hang out with hazel this weekend, so that's one thing i'm looking forward to. these brownies are so MMH! SO GOOD!"

the squeal esra let out made her laugh, "thank you, i know i'm the best baker."

"you are." esra grinned as she hopped and sat on the counter, "now tell me about you."

"well.." audrey started decorating the cupcakes again, "this week, the bakery was busier than ever and i probably did shit in my exams because i was overloaded with work here and then my mother started eating my ear off as usual." she let out a sigh, "i just- i don't know, i wish she could just understand that i'm trying."

esra didn't know what to say, so she gave her a hum as to indicate for her to continue,

"its been so hard for me, y'know?" audrey looked over to her friend who hummed again, "i just don't get what more can i do for them."

"you're doing your best."

"well, they don't see that."

"but I do." esta smiled as audrey looked up at her with sad eyes, "and really, that's all that matters. at the end of the day, the people who would think of you negatively in any way shouldn't come close to the people who actually love you for who you are and who actually sees the hard word you put into everything."

audrey's lips slowly formed into a smile. esra held her arms out, signalling her to give her another hug, which they exchange between each other.

"i love you." audrey said.

"i love you more."

✧༺♥༻∞
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a/n: idk how this story is gonna be a way for me to let everything out but we'll see where it goes lol