Strahm opened the door, already bored.
Dr Lawrence Gordon was smiling at him, sat behind his little desk, showing a seat to Peter with a welcoming hand.
Peter knew in what he had set foot, a good old conversation. They were gonna talk about mental health.
His mental health.
He sat, crossing rapidly his arms.
He liked Larry, really, he began to appreciate him.
Just, not in those moments.
''So, Peter.''
Larry began, linking his fingers.
''We're here to talk a little more. Of you, of course.''
Peter rolled his eyes, his fingers tapping on his arm.
''First, know that you're not the only one i welcomed here to talk.''
The agent nodded slowly.
''So, i have many things here, about you.''
The doctor showed a file with his hand.
Then, Peter knew it could be very, very long if he wasn't clever enough to cloud the issue.
Or maybe, talk.
''Let's begin.''
Larry opened the file.
''So, special agent Peter Strahm.''
The doctor stopped to read fastly.
''yeah, that's me.'' Strahm breathed mockingly.
''I know. I see that you were a good student, hard working, punctual, good at everything...''
Peter nodded, a little embarassed.
''You had many, many appointments with the psychology department. Why's that ?"
The man in front of the doctor coughed a little, finally parting his arms.
''Hard times going to Police academy. Happens to many students.''
Larry nodded, turning a page.
''Yes, of course... But not many students are sent to Speech centers.''
Peter sighed loudly.
''that's a beautiful term to say i had to run a therapy. Don't use the written words.''
Another nod.
''Why were you sent there ?"
Strahm frowned, knowing it was written on the papers.
His fingers pinched one of his thigh through his jeans.
''I had to join a support group to learn to manage my anger and my impulsivity.''
Again, Larry joined his hands together, listening.
''Didn't really work.''
The blond man turned a paper.
''Why is there a part on the fact you're taken with frequent nausea ? Apparently, you seemed to often throw up.''
Peter bit the inside of his mouth.
''Did you, or do you still, have an eating disorder ?"
Larry drank a little off his glass.
''no.'' Peter groaned.
''Then why did they find accurate to write that ?"
Strahm began to stress.
His feet was shaking, it wasn't good.
''Look, Larry, i did army. Had harsh times back there. I did police academy, had hard times there too. Many can't walk out completely fine.''
A short but hard silence echoed.
''Yes. And so, why is there a part about it ?"
Strahm groaned.
''I don't do that on purpose. I had hard panick attacks, it's making me throw up. Pain too. That's all, only a bad gag reflex.''
It was clearly not the best conversation he had, but he faced it with all his strenght.
Feet still shaking, fingers pinching his thighs. But he faced it.
''all right.''
Larry closed the file, finally.
''Can i go now ?"
Larry smiled sadly.
''Sorry, but no.''
Strahm breathed hardly, whipping his face angrily.
''Lindsey Perez.''
The tall man couldn't restrict his hard, angry groan.
''Tell me about her.''
Again, he whipped his face.
''Good friend of mine, thinks i'm a killer. She's probably right. Nothing else.''
The doctor clicked his pen.
''What do you think about what Mark did to her ?"
He clicked his pen again.
''She's not dead.''
''She could have been.''
Larry watched him in the eyes, calm.
''But she's not. Mark stabbed her, yes. I don't blame anyone, i'm not better. She's alive, probably living happily now she'd quit. End of discussion.''
Peter hit his leg angrily.
How could Larry be this calm ?
''So you don't blame Mark ?"
He simply said.
''I don't blame anyone.''
The silence was heavy.
Larry could hear the sound of Peter's whistling throat.
''Anyone ?"
Larry went back, wanting to be sure.
''FINE ! I blame myself, alright ? I wasn't there for her. I wasn't there to protect her because my world was painted by Mark Hoffman. It still is.''
Larry brushed his own hair back.
''You know what, Larry, i don't even think i could've done anything for her. Dead or alive she suspected me. She still does, and SHE IS RIGHT.''
He slapped the desk with hard, angry hands, standing up.
''She's right ! I'm deep in all this now. If you don't believe me then kill me now because i'm not gonna change my mind.''
Larry stood too, balancing himself on the desk.
''do you believe what you say ?"
Peter sighed, teeth gritted.
''I believe every. single. word.''
Larry smiled, almost hungrily.
''Jigsaw will love it.''
The tall man sighed in awe.
''i bet he will.''
With no further comments, Peter left quickly.
YOU ARE READING
The obsession that led to love.
Fanfiction????HOFFSTRAHM (Everybody lives, maybe a miracle, idc.) When Peter discovers his obsession for Mark, it's already too late. The obsession led him to love, and love led him to the glass coffin. After a good cry and anger, trying to keep himself up, h...
