Love life 🫶🏻

episode 6

this may seem like i'm a homie hopper but in which case i did not mean to be like one. y'all remember the last chapter where i was talking about the friend group? a day after i ended things with Nathan, i started talking to another guy in the friend group named Bowen.
let me set the record straight though! i have never "cheated" or talked to multiple guys at the same time, i always wait until we both end things.
a day after i ended things with nathan, i started talking to bowen, which was one of his friends in the friend group. bowen was always there for me, talked to me, we would have long conversations all the time, so i gave it a shot.
at first it was going good, he lost his first kiss to me (my mistake) but we didn't rush into dating. we were just a talking stage through it all.
he met my family, i met his, we hung out (not very often) i went riding four wheelers with him and went out to eat and got to know his brothers girlfriend.
fast forward probably not even a few weeks later, i find out that he's been talking about me. listing his icks, making fun of my family and our financial situation (something i cannot control so no need to make fun of me for it) saying how he doesn't want his kids to have broke and crackhead grandparents, how he just has lost interest in me.
after i found that out, i was already going to just end things because talking bad about me is one thing but talking bad about my family??? whewwwww!!
however, i was having some issues at that point so i never ended things first, i wanted him to end them first so he got the satisfaction of breaking up with me. allow me to copy and paste what he said to me over text!
Bowen: "Wassup Ricki, I've noticed a dent in our relationship. You haven't been talking to me at all. You wanted me to get ungrounded "sooo bad", but when I'm finally ungrounded you treat me like I'm one of your long lost friends that you haven't talked to in years. We don't have chemistry, we don't click. I feel as if you feel uncomfortable around me and I don't like that. You and Landon can talk if y'all want, I know y'all click better."
I said this, " I like you Bowen, like genuinely you are the sweetest guy and I'm not saying that in the sense like "you're too sweet that's why I can't date you." I'm saying that you deserve better than me. We don't click, we talk yes, we laugh sometimes, yes, we hold hands and walk tg, we can hang out after school sure, but we genuinely don't feel comfy around one another in the bf/gf type of way. I love your family and I enjoyed getting to know them and I love Libs and I really like you as a person but I don't think we could get much further into our relationship considering we just don't have that spark. I agree with what you said in the paragraph, and I'm sorry I left you on delivered and sent black screens, i just didn't know how to respond. I don't want you to think that all girls are bad now or that you aren't worth it or it's because of your personality, you are worth sm and you're such a sweet soul and I want you to find the girl that makes you light up with joy, and not feel weird around, I am just not the girl. I thank you for sending that paragraph and telling me how you feel though. Means alot 🤍And I don't want you to change your opinion on us or me in general just bc of me being dry and my family problems rn. I don't want you to feel like crap for telling me how you feel. You did what I asked of you, and you communicated w me. I respect you sm for that and I'm so grateful for the time we spent getting to know one another and talking and facetiming. Ofc, I'm still gonna wanna be friends if you're okay w that, but it's up to you. I do like talking to you, I just don't see us having a solid relationship yk what I mean?! Even if you try to change what you said, you already said what you meant to say in that paragraph, and I think you really do feel that way."
Bowen:
"Okay well it's good that we are on the same page now, this does make me kinda sad tho not gonna lie, but yes... we can still be friends. We had a wayyyyy better relationship as friends, like when we were friends I feel like we did click but as soon as we started liking each other it just changed and I don't know how tbh, but it's kinda crazy how we can go from sending each other cute little TikTok's to this. Like I said this will make me a little sad but I think it's for the best, you are a very good girl and your are sooo beautiful. I hate that we have to end like this but atleast we are on the same terms. I do want to still have a friendship tho."