I Feel [COMPLETE]

All Night

I wake up next to Shuhua, at her house. We had a sleepover after the party so that I could explain to her everything that happened.

"I like how Soyeon listens to everything I say, even if it's meaningless," I sigh, "and how she laughs, it's unfiltered and ugly, the laugh of someone who doesn't care about their reputation."

"Okay, can you stop simping for her?" Shuhua rolled her eyes, but I know she's teasing me.

I turned to look at Shuhua lying down. "I think we should give her a spot in our crew."

"We have to figure this out." Shuhua sits up next to me. "How is this going to affect our clique? Or the school? Everyone will be raging.." Shuhua nervously played with her fingers. "We denied that internet famous girl Yena from our group, what will anyone think of us letting in someone at the bottom of the food chain?"

"You're right," I sigh a second time, my gaze fixed on the pattern of Shuhua's bed sheets to distract myself from my own thoughts.

"But there's something that you should do before thinking about any of that," Shuhua's voice got dangerously soft, a rare tone only used to give me advice, "you should talk to her."

~

I watch a trail of ants walk across the school's front lawn as I wait for the bus to come. I had walked to school extra early so that I could talk to Soyeon right when I see her instead of being unable to talk to her in front of everyone on the bus, just in case they were listening. I wanted her to know that what I was about to say was for her ears only.

When it finally pulls up into the school parking lot, I stood, dusting my butt off since I had been sitting on the grass. I observe the students getting off of the bus one by one and heading into school in a neat line, just like the ants that I had seen.

Soyeon is at the back of the line, looking like she usually does and seemingly has forgotten the hard work I put into making her look like a Queenka. She's wearing a big gray hoodie and there's something around her neck that I haven't seen before. A necklace she stole from my room?

I ignore that bit, jog up to Soyeon and started to walk right next to her. "I need to talk to you."

"O-okay," she responds shyly, allowing me to lead her into an empty classroom once we enter the building. I gesture for us to sit on the floor together.

"I'm sorry," both of us say at the same time.

Blush was evident on my face. Why is she sorry?

"I assumed that we were friends when I shouldn't have, I mean, how can someone like me be friends with one of the most popular kids in school?" Soyeon bowed her head shamefully. "I was- AM stupid."

I frown, explaining my side before she can get too in her head. "No, I'm sorry. Yesterday when I texted you that I didn't think of us as friends, I meant that I think of you as someone who can be more than a friend." That saved my side, didn't it? It's true, not an act of kindness this time.

"Like..." Soyeon picked her head up and leaned forward a little. Her eyes were shimmering. "A special friend?"

This girl really is clueless, isn't she? I bite my lip. "Like a lover."

Soyeon moved back a little from my face when the words left my mouth, and her gaze was unreadable. I let out a shaky breath, not being able to comprehend how I've only known her for a week, and here I sit, confessing my feelings.

"But.. we're both girls," Soyeon looked at me confused.

I opened my mouth to explain, but the bell for the first class of the day cut me off. We got up off of the floor and went to our respective classes. Even though I was disappointed, maybe it would be good if I gave her some time to think about it.