What it means to be a writer

Trash Writers

History class ended, and I could finally turn back to something that I find compelling, teaching English. I opened up the study guide, page 22, Denotation and Connotation.

Why don't they just call this, "Ideology and chill?"

Footsteps of students from a distance could be heard. Since I haven't prepared at all for class I think I might make them do some extra homework today to keep them busy. Soon the classroom was filled with a bunch of bored and hormone-filled adolescents. I just wish the classroom would smell better, some of these kids are really hormonal.

"Hey guys, so I have a really busy schedule, so this will be quick you guys can go on with the activity in class, open up on page 22, we are going to discuss literal and figurative meanings of words," I uttered as I opened the textbook.

"Here's what you need to know, denotation, is the literal meaning, connotation, is the figurative meaning of a word, makes sense right," I added as I wrote on the board.

"So, let's take this sentence,' the fancy lady walked upstairs,' now the word, 'fancy-lady,' literally means that the lady is fancy. Connotation wise it would mean she's a prostitute, now you know a part of Western culture," I explained. Now you might think my methods are really inappropriate, and I would totally agree with that. But these are adolescents, they would only find something engaging if it's sexual or has a dirty meaning.

I sat back down on my chair looking at the stack of essays I need to mark. Slowly I went through them, one by one. "Guys we really need to talk, sorry to interrupt your work, but this is important," I said as I stood up.

"Some of you guys have a nasty habit when writing. Adding music to everything. But the problem is not the music it's the structure in which you do it. Every second paragraph has music, and then worst of all the quotations and paraphrasing you guys use are absolutely horrible. Now I'm not saying you guys are bad, this all takes practice, but you guys have to start getting serious and see writing as a career not as an obligation, imagine that you are a writer and that your good name depends on the tasteless shit you write, but well done most of you guys actually knows how to quote so we are getting somewhere," I murmured.

I looked further through the essays while standing in front of the class.

"Oh yes, ladies, stop writing about how you want to see your crush kiss your other crush, this is why society fails because people have feelings for multiple people, love is a thing between two people, it's a civil union not an orgy, please," I pondered as I keep on looking through the pages. I started to write a list of words on the born, each one in a different colour. "The words, stud, lover, shaft, and ass are banned from any essay you guys write me," I uttered, "write any of these words and I refuse to mark your essay."

Who wakes up in the morning and talks about the word, "shaft." When did the reference to the male penis suddenly turn into a shaft? "Instead of writing about how big his shaft is, say something like, 'I want to engage in intercourse with his rather large gentleman's sausage,' even that sounds less cringy," I ranted as I made drawing on the board.

I must say, I drew a rather nice sausage for them.

"I see someone is teaching Biology today," I heard a voice at the door. To my surprise it's the teacher next door. "Yeah, you should read this crap, it's enough to make my great-grandma roll over in her grave, and that me placing a euphemism on it," I laughed as I handed him the essay on top of the pile.

"Wow this is some interesting literature, makes me happy to be a Chemistry teacher, the name is Timothy by the way, but my friends call me Tim," he says as he sticks his hands out.

"Luke,"
"Nice to meet you."
"Sir don't you think it's inappropriate to share a students work with other people," one of the students at the front desk asked.

A familiar face, Jasmine. She writes love stories about how the high school jock keep neglecting her and doesn't seem to pay attention to her. In all of her stories she portrays the character as an over-weight girl who has a shy personality, quite literally who she is. Now I'm not judging here but she really puts her fantasies to paper, quite literally.

"See this is why I do what I do," I explained, "If you start taking pride in your essays, which counts like thirty percent of your year mark, you'd start loving the English language more, and you'd get better marks, and the only way to do that is you teach you guys how to have shame and how to know what is acceptable to write about."

I sat down at the table. "Look guys, you guys try, I know, and honestly from what you guys write I really feel engaged in what you're trying to say sometimes, but we have to start taking language seriously, it's the fundamental element which separates us from animals. Each and every one of you has limitless potential to become successful in life, it's an asset you guys have, and as a teacher, it's my vision to exploit that and make you realize what you're capable of," I added, my voice echoing through the classroom.

I guess that's enough speeches for one day, hopefully after this they would be more reluctant to write cringy ass love making scenes. Kids these days knows more about sex than about what they want to become one day, and that's the sad part about living in this world.