Reckless | Dorian Pavus | Dragon Age ✔

Reckless | Chapter Three

Ozen stood outside on the balcony with his hands on the railing. It was a cold afternoon, the chilled wind blew causing him to shiver. It was spring at Skyhold but winter didn't want to let go yet. Ozen was thankful that other areas were already lush green and warm. He could always find a way to escape the bitter chill of Skyhold. A familiar sound of a door opening and closing echoed in Ozen's chambers. He could hear Dorian's boots hit the stone floor. Ozen didn't move. He continued to look over the railing down to the people of Skyhold. They looked happy, and content. Ozen felt the pressure of the world on his shoulders again. He didn't want any more people to die if he could help it. He swore under his breath, pushing himself away from the rail. He ran his fingers through his long, brown hair. His family was possibly dead and the only lead he had was Dorian.

He wasn't sure how to feel.

"Why can't I hate you?" Ozen tried his best to hide the tears that wanted to fall down his face. He blinked them away, not wanting to show weakness towards Dorian or the people of Skyhold. He had come so far in this war, that he couldn't lose it now.

"My wit and charm, perhaps?" Dorian chuckled, hoping to lift the dark mood a little. When Ozen sighed, he knew that it hadn't worked. Dorian felt guilty about what happened to Ozen's family. He couldn't sleep at night knowing that it was his fault it had happened. Ozen hadn't seen his family in a little over a year and when he finally saw them, they disappeared off the face of the planet.

Ozen didn't want to turn towards Dorian. Ozen tried to move, to cut the tension in the air, go to Dorian's arms, and feel something other than pain and guilt. Instead, Ozen stood there like a statue. His little sister flashed into his mind. She had the same haircut as his except her hair was white. 'I want to be like my big brother!' She proclaimed to her parents. Ozen's mother, after a long embrace and happy tears, told Ozen many stories about Lilly. Lilly looked up to Ozen, so much so that she wanted to get the same face tattoos as him. It filled Ozen's heart with pride and happiness. He frowned, and the sudden realization that they were gone hit him again. Instead of screaming or throwing another knife towards Dorian, Ozen fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself.

Why didn't the gods watch over his family? Why had they abandoned them?

"Amatus ..." The sweet whisper of his lover fell beside him. Ozen could never get used to how he said that name to him. Ozen let Dorian put his arm around his shoulders. The anger he felt towards Dorian was slowly melting away. It wasn't his fault, even though all Ozen wanted was to blame him. Maybe it was all planned. He was the leader of the Inquisition. Someone must have known about his family. But to open a rift? He didn't know anyone capable of doing something like that other than a mage. The only mage strong enough to fulfill that role was Solas. Ozen did not trust Solas but he knew the elf wouldn't purposefully hurt him or the people of Skyhold.

"I want Lilly back," Ozen whispered. Dorian noticed his bottom lip trembling. Dorian frowned, leaning in to kiss Ozen's temple. Ozen moved away from him, feeling that rage in the pit of his stomach again. Dorian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose out of annoyance. He understood what happened and he wanted more than ever to fix it. He just didn't want to have Ozen kill anyone in the process. Anyone here at Skyhold at least.

"I know you do," Dorian got up from Ozen, feeling tension again, and walked to the railing, letting his elbows rest as he peered down to the people below, "I know that they are out there waiting for us to save them."

"Don't tell me that." Ozen snapped, jumping to his feet, "If you're wrong, if my family is dead, I just..." Ozen groaned, bringing his fist to the wall next to the double doors leading to the balcony. He didn't want to hurt Dorian, not again. "I don't want to blame you dammit!"

"Then don't!" Dorian raised his voice to match Ozen's, "Don't blame me for what happened to Lilly. Blame the demons. Blame the person who opened that rift and took them from you!"

"You—"

"I was alone. It all happened so fast I couldn't even breathe. Ozen, whoever did this knew you would be gone. It seems to me that wherever you went was planned."

Ozen stood there for a few moments thinking about what Dorian had said. It was possible that someone would be against him and his family. He wasn't aware of other Dalish families going missing, especially where they were in the Pass. Ozen walked back into his bedroom and started pacing, ignoring the throbbing hand to his side. Dorian followed him inside, closing the doors behind him.

"I'm sorry, Dorian. For—" Ozen began. Dorian quickly stopped him.

"You don't need to apologize." Dorian grinned, "I am just glad you have come to your senses."

Ozen gave him a tug of his lips. Dorian stopped him in the middle of the room, grabbed his now injured hand, and held it between his hands. Ozen felt a gentle warmth radiating through his hand up to his wrist. Dorian looked into Ozen's eyes, feeling lost for a moment. It amazed Dorian how different the Inquisitor's eyes were. Ozen claimed that his eyes were a part of being a Dalish, but Dorian had a hard time believing that. Dorian kissed Ozen's forehead, stepping back to examine his work on the fragile hand.

"Good as new," Dorian exclaimed.

"Can you go with me back to the Pass?" Ozen suddenly asked.

"Of course. I go wherever you want me to go."

"I'll ask Solas and Varric, as well. We will go to the Pass and search."

"Good. On the way let's see if we can find something or someone doing bad things." Dorian winked. Ozen chuckled, kissing the man's cheek before walking past him. Dorian stood there, watching the Inquisitor leave the room. Dorian put his hand to his chin, grinning.

"I do like to watch you leave."

Ozen felt his cheeks flare up at the sudden compliment.