let's stay together even tomorrow

Chapter 7

Time is cruel. Life is cruel. Fuck the universe. Life gave them a big "fuck you" by showing that timing has and will forever have the upper hand.

The apartment is always empty and if anyone were to be there, they would be overwhelmed with the smell of alcohol. Surprisingly Elijah, a professional day drinker, smells sweet and the opposite of his home– if you can call it that.

Yes, that's correct, after Casey, Elijah dived right back into drinking. Top 5 best diving moments in his opinion, completely skipping the "dipping in your toes" option.

There is a feeling he cannot name nor describe. It's the desolate emptiness in the world that has shown itself to him – only after losing the one person who knew him the best. He is lost.

He didn't see the signs in Casey— too disillusioned by the fact that they were all together, alive and happy. He was so immersed in the belief that they would live on and have a real future. The future is now bleak.

Looking back he sees it now. How Casey let them speak while he just silently listened. It's as if Casey thought that he would ruin their fun or the moment if he were to say something. Elijah thinks of the question; is it better to speak or to die? Casey chose to die.

Elijah constantly finds himself hugging Micah or Finn, or both of them. Ever since that night, Elijah stopped speaking. And when he goes to hug either of them, they open their arms because they know it's his way of speaking. Their arms engulf him and a sense of tranquility washes over him. And it's in these simple moments that his world grows quiet around him yet he never says anything. But this time the arms don't wrap around him. And his voice quivers, barely audible but they still catch it.

His whole body shakes as he releases emotions that he never wanted to escape. He sobs– it's a broken and heartwrenching sound, "I couldn't save him." He repeats it louder and louder until his hoarse voice gives out from disuse. It's when he falls to the ground, snot and drool pouring out of him that their arms hold him. Elijah's silence is no more. It's replaced with the warm love from Finn and Micah. Warmer than the sun shining on a hot summer day.

Casey's funeral goes like this: Flowers surround Casey's portrait. No words are spoken by the three young men. What can they say about a beautiful boy who died? The room is full of people. Elijah thinks there are too many people. He can't say that out loud though.

Despite the many bodies shuffling around, the room is very quiet, not even a small cry. From his position to the side and the corner of his eye, Elijah can see who walks in. Casey's mother and brothers pay their respects, his father standing there to the side.

This is the first and last time the boys would ever see that man shed a tear. Casey's father turns to face Finn, who is at the other end of the room. Their eyes lock instantly and almost immediately everyone can practically feel the tension. They hold the intense stare for a mere second more then, the middle-aged man scoffs, "You pathetic loser, can't even follow a damn thing your uncle tells you, huh?! You were supposed to protect him, keep him safe! You let him be so fucking selfish and let him kill himself. You failed." He's so close to Finn's face but Finn doesn't stand down.

A laugh, it's short and humorless, "I failed?! Me? What about you? Aren't you supposed to be the man? I'm not the loser, you are, you can't even protect your own son. You only wanted to protect yourself! How could you keep this secret from us? You thought that we would never find out right? Bet you were happy when Jesse died. Your little fucking petty secret. Oh, boo-hoo your sister is better than you! Jesse was your blood too! My blood. Casey's blood. " Finn's outburst is met with silence for a few seconds.

"Now, son. This is no-" Finn cuts him off, pushing his uncle back with his index finger, "Never, and I mean never, call me that again." The shakiness and emotion in his voice from earlier were now gone, shed like the tears that flowed down his cheeks. "I want you out of here, abuser." The man doesn't move. "I said get out! Get the fuck out of here! Casey would have never wanted you disgusting pieces of vermin to be here!" Casey's mother seems taken aback by the words and fights back the urge to cry.