let's stay together even tomorrow

Chapter 2

Childhood laughter turns into yelling in Casey's ears as he is brought back to the pain-aching present. He opens his eyes to see a grief-stricken mother, pointing her finger at him, "I want you out! It's all your fault, you're the reason he's dead! It should have been you!" He's taken aback by such harsh but true words. A hand grabs him, leading him out of the room, it's Elijah. It wasn't until the four of them were in the hallway did he realize he was crying. It should have been you etched into Casey's skull. He thinks to himself that she is right, it should have been him, how easier things would have been.

The group didn't make it that far, standing in the hallway. Casey tries to regulate his breathing. Elijah tells them they should eat and they walk to the dining area. There they sit, no words exchanged. Casey plays with his food and he looks up to see his boyfriend glaring at him. "Please, just eat it, Cas." He sounds tired. And he knows Elijah means well with his words but Casey can't help but get stung by them.

He picks up a single cracker and piece of cheese and forcefully shoves it in his mouth, swallowing it down hurts. Just as he was about to shove more crackers into his mouth, he heard whispers. Then the whispers get louder. "Did you hear about that kid next to your husband's room? About his death?" Other various hushed voices speak about the same topic.

"Yeah, I heard from a nurse that he had drugs in his system. He was a drug addict." That was it. The food was long forgotten as Casey stood up. "Excuse me? What did you say?" His voice is thick with disgust and anger. The woman stutters and before she gets a chance to speak, Elijah rises. "Ma'am, how dare you speak ill of the dead! Were you born this stupid or did your family never tell you you're a babbling idiot, you self-centered bitch!"

To say everyone was shocked would be an understatement. What an odd thing to say. The room that was filled with chatter and utensils moving was now silent. The air is thick. The older woman's face twists with anger. Just before Elijah spits out another angry rant, one of the other boys grabs his hand and leads him out of the room and they leave.

Once out of the funeral hall completely and in the comfort of Elijah's raggedy beaten-up car, the boys laugh. It's genuine. They laugh so hard that their stomachs hurt and Casey ends up choking a little but covers it with a cough. "Holy shit Eli, I can't believe you yelled at that old hag." One of them said and he just nodded. "I just couldn't handle them talking about something like that... something they have no right to mention." They went silent again.

"Can we go to the park?" Casey blurts out. Without hesitation, Elijah–– who finally got his driver's license–– starts the car and drives in the direction of the park. It's a little less than 15 minutes to drive from their small funeral hall to the other side of town, where the park resides. Music softly plays from the speakers. Casey watches the lush scenery rush past the car window and he rests his eyes.

Once his eyes are open and he registers his surroundings, he notices the car is stopped. The four young men exit the car and the cold late October air hits them. Casey wasn't wearing a coat and it reminds him of the time he met his found family alongside Finn. How badly he wants to turn back the clock, to erase the event from happening.

Deep into his own thoughts once again, Casey feels his hand being pulled into the direction of the old bench they used to sit on all those years ago. The four sit in silence for a while, letting the wind hit them as they stare out into the distance.

Casey sighs, tears falling without them even meaning to. "Fuck, I–I miss him so much. It's like–'' Casey doesn't want to finish the sentence–– or really needs to, the boys know what he's talking about. It feels like a piece of them is missing. It feels wrong to visit the park.

Strong arms engulf Casey and soon all of them are group hugging, almost falling off the bench in the process. It was worth it, to feel the warm embrace of each other. The boys knew they had each other.