I'm losing us

Grief

Taylor's pov

I end the call with the receptionist and toss the phone aside on the bed. Today has been a rough day. I cannot even imagine what Joe, Ellie and Laura must be feeling. I need to make sure that Richard's dismissal doesn't put Joe in the dark space. I need to make sure that he expresses his feelings in the right way and doesn't bottle them up just like he always does.

I am aware how difficult it is for him to express his feelings to anyone. Lizzie tells me that he has been like this since his childhood. I am worried about him sometimes because I do not want him to hide anything from me. I love him and he really needs to know this at a time like this. I really need to support all the three of them.

As I am sitting on the bed, Joe comes out of the bathroom, his blonde hair all wet and spread on his forehead. The towel draping his waist revealing his abs. This is not a new look for me, but I will never stop adoring it.

I get up from the bed and walk toward him. "Honey, are you okay?" I touch his shoulder gently and stroke it.

"We don't have time for this. I have to prepare the breakfast too. They will be here any minute" He gently tosses my hand and walks toward the closet.

"Joe. It is okay to feel sad. It was your father, okay? You can feel sad about it. Don't run away from feelings" I say in a rough tone.

If you try and show care toward someone and they just get stubborn and decline your help, you can get pretty annoying.

As he puts on a shirt, he turns around to face me. "Taylor, please. Not now, okay? You know I have a lot of work today. I don't have time to talk about my feelings" He wears his pants while I just stand there. He walks to me and puts his hand on my cheek. "But if you ever wanna talk about yours, I am there to listen, okay?" He goes out of the room.

Two weeks pass by since we hosted Richard's funeral. Joe and I are back to work. This is a little hard on him and I wish I could do something. Sometimes you want to help someone but there is nothing you can actually do.

My grandma once said, 'The only way to end pain is by going through it' If I really think about it, she was right. You can ignore your feelings for as long as you want, but one day they will resurface and give you the pain they are meant to give. So instead, just feel and suffer with the grief and get away with it.

I open the door of our apartment and walk in. I sniffle into the air as I smell smoke. My mind goes straight to one thing. But it can't be possible. Joe never smoked. Ever.

I hang the keys on the holder and rush inside to see if Joe is alright. I see him standing at the entrance of the kitchen, staring at the ground. He is just lost in his thoughts. Behind him, I see the smoke coming out of the oven.

I go toward and shake his shoulders violently. He flinched once and looked at my panicked face. "Joe, the oven!" I exclaim and run toward the little closet we have for all the important stuff. I take out the fire extinguisher while he goes and opens the window which is right above the stove.

"Get aside" I shout as I run toward the oven, holding the heavy red bottle. I take out the clip and throw it away. I spray the extinguisher on the oven and he comes toward me and helps me hold it. The white carbon dioxide sprays out of it and finally, the fire is out.

I leave the fire extinguisher on the ground and take a deep breath while Joe looks at me in horror. I look at him and I am aware he is expecting me to be angry at him. But instead of shouting, I go toward him and wrap my arms around him.

"Joe" I whine slowly and kiss his head.

"I-I am so sorry. I am such an idiot. I would've burned our house down"