MINSUNG ONESHOTS

alienated

"ignore the way they see you, ignore the way they think of you, baby. to me, you're beautiful and i don't see nobody but you."

sometimes i wonder if other people feel the same things i do. like... do they hear the walls breathe at night too? they sound like they're tired, like they're letting out little sighs after a long day. i used to think everyone could hear that. maybe they can, and they just don't talk about it.

once, i asked my brother if he could hear it, and he looked at me funny. he didn't say anything, just shook his head and kept playing his game. i guess maybe i was wrong? but then, why does it sound so real to me?

i think things feel different for me. not in a bad way, just... different. like, when someone walks into a room and they're pretending not to be scared, i can hear it in their footsteps. they try to walk normal, but something's off. it's like their feet are lying. they... sound all wobbly. is that weird? maybe i'm just making it up. but it doesn't feel made up.

when my mom calls my name, she always sounds gentle, but there's something hiding in her voice. like she's trying to keep something inside. like she's afraid, but doesn't want me to know. i don't really understand it, but i can still hear it. her voice goes a little funny and it feels heavy. is that normal?

i thought everybody noticed these things. i really did. like how the lights in our living room blink extra bright when someone lies. or how the grass outside turns a lighter green when the sun hits it just right— like it's smiling. i wave at it sometimes, and i think it waves back.

birds and squirrels talk to me too. they don't use words, but they answer when i say hi. one time i told a blue jay about my dream, and it chirped three times and tilted its head, like it was really listening. maybe it was. i think they understand more than people think.

i used to talk about all this stuff a lot. but people always looked at me weird. like they didn't know what i was saying, or like i said something wrong. i didn't mean to be weird. i just thought i was sharing something cool. i don't know why they didn't get it.

when i started school, i got even more confused. i met a lot of kids, but they didn't seem to shine the way everything else did. they were... quieter. not in the way that means not talking, but in a way that felt like their colors were dimmed. i wondered if maybe they forgot how to see the cool parts of the world.

one time, i saw a hummingbird outside and got really excited. another kid was looking at it too, so i walked over and said, "hey! you understand them too?" i thought maybe he'd smile, or say he talks to them too. but he just frowned and didn't say anything. then he turned away like i wasn't even there.

i stood there for a little while. i didn't know what i did wrong. maybe i said it weird? or maybe i should've said something else first? i looked down at my shoes and kind of just walked away slowly. my stomach felt weird, like the time i accidentally swallowed toothpaste.

i kept thinking about it all day. did i imagine it? do they only talk to me? and if they do... does that make me strange?

i didn't know what was wrong with me... it seemed like i was the only one who knew these things. my parents don't believe me too, they say i should stop being weird and cree... creeking them out? i don't remember what word they said... or what it meant. but i don't think it's any better than the word 'weird'.

sometimes i wonder if maybe i was made wrong. like maybe when people are made, there's a special list they follow to make sure everything's the same. and maybe when it was my turn, they missed a page.

because when i laugh at things nobody else laughs at, or when i talk about the grass or the walls or the animals, people always get quiet. and i don't understand why. it makes my cheeks feel hot, and i want to hide under my sleeves.