Utsukushii Kare/ My Beautiful Man [ENGLISH TRANSLATION]

Chapter-3; PART-7: Sweet and Bitter

                                 

                                  Translator: White Lotus

                              ◈ ◈ ◈ ◈

Kiyoi received countless text messages from Hira. All of which were apologies and were completely off-the-mark.

Hira probably didn't even consider himself to be the one who ditched Kiyoi. Well, that was fine. He could keep blindly chasing the ideal Kiyoi he shaped in his mind without ever paying attention to the real Kiyoi.

While contemplating this, another thought came to his mind.

Even though he was subjected to teasing that was close to bullying, or even though he was used as a gofer, Hira, like a fool, always kept his focus solely on Kiyoi. Unlike those people who flattered Kiyoi on the surface but would turn their backs when circumstances changed, Hira was the only one who remained the same even when Kiyoi was in a humiliating situation.

If he had just given a little more time, maybe things could have worked out somehow.

Maybe he was too impatient.

Whenever Kiyoi was idle, such weak thoughts* would inadvertently cross his mind, but then he would immediately dismiss them, and in order to forcibly forget about that repulsive guy, Kiyoi tried to keep himself as busy as possible so as to have no time to spare. He diligently attended his university and got his work done. For Kiyoi, it was fortunate that he could devote himself to rehearsals every day because the premiere day of the stage play was quickly approaching.

(T/N: *the meaning of this phrase "そんな気弱な" is "such weak thoughts" or "such timid thoughts." It refers to a state of mind characterized by hesitancy, lack of confidence, or vulnerability.The term "気弱" here is used metaphorically to describe the state of the person's thoughts or mindset, rather than referring to a physical weakness or timidity. It emphasizes the mental aspect of feeling unsure or easily influenced.)

However, when he returned to his apartment, where he lived alone, it became a different tale. Every time Kiyoi took a bath, ate a meal, or even at random moments, Hira's figure would appear out of nowhere in his thoughts, leaving him with an agonizing feeling of powerlessness. Even worse, he ended up calling his parents' home without any apparent purpose, which surprised his mother, who received the call.

'Did something happen? I can't believe Sou took the initiative to call me.'

"Nothing special."

'More rice, please――' a gruff voice came from the other end of the line. When Kiyoi asked who it was, he was surprised to be told that it was his younger brother, who was in junior high school. Recently, his brother seemed to have entered the voice-change stage, and hearing his mother's voice happily talking about these things gradually began to irritate Kiyoi. Interrupting his mother in the middle of the conversation, Kiyoi hung up the phone and became even more depressed.

                ―― Kiyoi is the person I love the most in the world.*

(T/N: Brief reminder: the meaning of the phrase "一番好き" is "the most loved; "the most liked"; or the most favorite" in English. It isn't a direct love confession.)