Son of Hope

Chapter Twelve - Pit in the stomach

I was betrothed, to Joanna's daughter Eleanor. Mary would marry Charles and Harry would Marry Isabella when she was older. A triple alliance with Spain upon our marriages.

"I cannot marry a little girl I am already betrothed...."

"A bended knee does not make a marriage, brother." I sighed and rubbed my face "How did we get here, Harry? How is it that us two a marrying for an alliance with Spain? I mean it feels like yesterday That you were being poised to be a cleric and I a soldier. Now...now we're here."

"It feels like we're heading to our doom. I need to clear my head." he got up and left the room. He had the right idea but where he would go to church I needed a hunt. I left with a group including Charlie.

"We haven't done this in a long time." Charlie commented

"That's because you are shoved so far up my brothers arse I could barely see your feet." we laughed and I jumped down from my horse and held my bow and arrow up. I saw movement and let lose trusting my instincts. There was a whimper and we moved over to see pheasant. It was picked up as we hunted more catching small game.

We rode hooded back to the castle and that night i laid staring up at the ceiling. This whole marriage settled even less than marrying my brothers widow. It felt like I was betraying Catherine even thought she was never mine and never would be. With a huff of breath I lifted myself out of bed and dressed for the shadows. I left the castle grounds and walked to Durham House glancing around making sure i was not followed I knocked till Lina answered

"Highness." she gasped seeing it was me

"May I see her?" she bowed her head and let me in. I stood in the main room and waited as Lina went upstairs. I stared up out my family's emblem till I heard footsteps and i turned lowing my hood.

"Edward." she breathed "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know." I answered "I cannot sleep, I fear I am unsettled and all thoughts lead me here." Catherine glanced back to Lina who went upstairs as she came over.

"I was told you and your brother had left for Spain."

"Not yet, one of our ships is being called from up the coast. The three of us will leave in due course. Though I wish it not so." I shuffled to her "When my grandmother made the proposal, I wished to protest with all my being. Something about the entire arrangement feels wrong. It was one thing to make a trade for De la Pole, it is completely another to be arranged to a girl younger than myself who is being poised for a position not even I was ready to take."

"Then defy your father and your grandmother."

"Catherine, you know I can't. The only thing that saves my brother from what I saw is if i wear the crown. How can i do that if I make the wrong move. This is a game of chess, it has been since Arthur died. We are all pieces in their game and I can't lose. Yet, I feel like i'm letting them win. Our betrothal it wasn't the easiest of plans but that, that I could see a way through. I have known you for what feels like my who life. I don't know your niece, i haven't..." I took her hands in mine "Ever since the privy council I am adrift and I seek guidance. You told me of how you watched your parents, tell me how did they get through such troubling times?"

"They relied on one another and they found strength in God and that they would lead them the right way." I nodded

"Thank you. Thank you." I kissed her hands and separated from her. "i'm sorry I imposed upon you." i turned going to leave

"Can I ask you something?" she wondered and I turned back around "You said if i married Harry and became his Queen, it would tear this country apart that there would be pain and only one surviving child. Has it changed?" she questioned

"Now that you are to be King and Harry will remain a Duke."

"I haven't seen anything, the afternoon that Meg left i confessed everything to father. That stopped the nightmares. But despite everything has changed I haven't had a vision since." I admitted "My Aunt Lizzie believes that certain choices have been made that alter but not completely change the future. My mother told her that they came when they were not seeked but anytime i try and stop worrying about the future I seek assurance even more and the sight alludes me." my head tilts as i see something flitter across her expression

"Has something changed that I am not aware of?"

"Like what?" she looked away which usually mean someone was keeping something or lying.

"Like doubt, doubt changes everything even for a moment unwavering loyalty is questioned. Do you have a question about my brother perhaps."

"No, of course not." she denied. I moved to her once more.

"I will share a secret with you but you must swear to me you will never tell another soul." she stared at me curious "If you ever and I mean even for a second doubt my brother, you ask him directly, never allude to anything. If he lies his left eyes twitches, it's the slightest movement but its there. If he twitches that you know he's not truthful. Promise me it will stay between us, not even father or Lady Grandmother or even Charlie knows this secret." she gave a soft smile

"I promise."

"Good." I say "I'm glad I came here, you have settled me. Be safe, Catherine." i kissed her head, then took my leave.

The next morning, Harry and i were ushered from the castle to Hatfield where we were told to remain until we would set sail for Spain.