Voodoo | Ghorror [C]

Chapter 19 | It's Complicated

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" I asked Ricky as I searched for my coat.

He shook his head. "I'll be fine here. You're not mad I'm not going, are you?"

I found my leather jacket and rested it in the crook of my arm. With a sigh, I sat down on the edge of his bed. "You know I'd never be mad at you, Sweetheart. I'm just going to miss you."

Ricky pulled his legs up to his chest as he looked away. "I'll miss you while you're gone too. It's just... people are-"

"I know." I interrupted and stood up. "I'll bring you back some food, okay?"

"Thanks." Ricky muttered, watching me as I leaned over.

I kissed his forehead as I brushed some hair out of his eyes. He was so beautiful. Part of me was pulling to stay here and just cuddle with him. We could watch some cheesy holiday movies, or just listen to slow music as the snow fell. At the same time, I wanted to go see everyone else at the party. I'll have plenty of time to spend alone with Ricky, and I think he actually wants a little time to himself. Hopefully that's for a good reason.

"Don't hesitate to call if you need anything, Sweetie." I told him.

"Okay. Have a good time." He replied.

Pulling the door open, I glanced back at him with a smile. Ricky's hair fell back in his face again, as the hall light draped over him. He forced a smile and waved goodbye. I returned his cute little wave and closed the door as I stepped out of it.

I headed down the staircase and pulled my jacket on as I did so. The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks when I stepped out front. Holy shit! It was freezing! I'm already missing the warmth of the loft. It'll be warm where I'm going though. I'm head over to Chris' for a Christmas party.

He didn't invite me as an employee, but as a friend. Ricky wasn't originally invited because of that reason. However I asked him to come as my plus one. He didn't want to go around all the people, the noise, the commotion. In all honesty, I think he was more scared of socializing. He has no problem grinding against a guy, but if he has to have a conversation, it's the end of the world.

It won't be that much fun without him coming with me. Not for the reason you'd think, though. I have no problem going without him, because I'll know plenty of the people there. I've gone to this party almost every winter since I've known Chris. The problem is, I'm worried what Ricky would do to himself alone.

He's a grown man, he can take care of himself. Who am I kidding? Ricky is as scared as a little puppy, and he's so easily broken. He was put into slavery at a young age, so he had no real chance to grown up normally and learn how to stand on his own two feet. He was always punished for being brave or strong. I have to keep faith though.

I couldn't help myself from worrying the entire taxi ride. It's five o'clock. I planned on staying until about nine. I'm sure Ricky will be fine for four hours by himself. Bite your tongue, Devin. You don't want to jinx yourself. You saw the look in his eyes... He's barely holding it together. Then again... look in the mirror.

I paid the driver as I got out, thanking him. It's been a long time since I've been here. Chris lives in the biggest house in the city. He's rich beyond belief. Dirty money obviously does one well. He's even added a new addition onto the house since I've been here, so it's even fuckin' bigger!

One of his many servants let me in, taking my jacket. Oh, how I have not missed being reminded what a failure I am in life. Why couldn't I have managed to become the ungodly rich businessman? No, I ended up the guy that dances on one of the poles in his club. Despite us leading such different lives, he still treats me like one of his best friends.

Ashley practically tackled me the second she saw me! I laughed, squeezing her tightly. "I haven't seen you in forever!" She chirped in my ear.

I released her from my grasp, replying, "I've, uh, been a bit busy. I'm sorry. You look beautiful."

"Thank you." She smiled, then did a bit of a turn as she said, "You like the new dress?"

"Gorgeous! Anything would look good on you, Hun." I told her as purposely tried to sound more gay than I am.

Ashley snickered. "Thank you, thank you. So, what have you been up to?"

We both began walking towards the living room area, as I thought how I could put it without sounding... bad? "Uhhh... I, um... I'm working for Chris right now."

"Really? Obviously not at the house, I would have known." She muttered. "Are you working at one of his bars?"

"No.." I mumbled. C'mon, Ash, don't push.

She seemed a little taken back, but being her, she didn't judge. She was just shocked. Her voice lowered as she asked, "You're not, um, one of his butchers, are you?"

"Oh God no!" I was quick to respond. "I'm dancing at one of his clubs again."

I was surprised she even asked! That is one job I would never do! When she said "butcher" she wasn't talking about the kind you're thinking. Not a deli man, no. When you own multiple clubs, bars, and whorehouses, you run into some deadly people. The best way not to get killed is to kill the killer. Chris doesn't put blood on his own hands, of course. He's not stupid. Neither am I, and that's the reason I could never be a hired hit man.

How'd we end up talking about murder when the holiday cheer should be on my mind? I guess it isn't hard with our lives. Ashley was one of the head servants at the house, and a good friend of mine. She lead me to the living room, where I was greeted with plenty of hugs and "been a while" comments. Last year I didn't come to the Christmas party, because I was too busy handling my debt. So, it's been a year since I've seen most these people.

Angelo grabbed me, having me sit down next to him on the couch so we could talk. He seems so much more healthier and happy now that he's left the club. That life really took a toll on him. I have to wonder, what it's doing to me?

"I'm surprised you didn't bring Ricky." Angelo said.

I sighed. "I wanted to. He was scared to come around all these people, and he's not used to knowing how to act around Chris when it's not his boss. I guess he just felt like he'd be out of place."

"We always make him feel like family, or at least try to."

"I know," I mumbled. "But, well with Ricky, I don't know. When you and I came to the club, we both felt so free and broke out of our shells almost instantly. Granted, Ricky was a slave much longer than us, and from a much younger age but, he still should have adjusted more by now."

Ange glanced down in thought. He messed with his bracelets, staring at the scar on his wrist. It was in the shape of a seven, kind of. That's where his brand was removed. I could tell he was overcome with old memories, just thinking about this.

"I'm not used to you caring about someone like this." He slightly scoffed. "I don't mean anything bad by that, but you're just never interested in the lives of people you barely know."

"No, I know what you mean. Normally I don't want to concern myself with other people's burdens. I have enough of my own. There's just... something about Ricky. Maybe it's because I see myself in him a little bit."

Angelo took a quick look around to find Chris, who was across the room. He then leaned in closer to me, setting his hand on my arm, and asked, "Is there something going on between you and Ricky? Don't worry, I won't tell Chris."

I gently pried his hand from my arm. "Ange, I'm not going to put you in that kind of situation. If I did tell you, you'd have to hide a secret from Chris, and if he found out... Well, you know how he can get."

"I can take it. That's why I've lasted longer than any of his previous boyfriends. I've also lasted because, I love him. I don't care if he hurts me, because he loves me too."

I forced a smile as I ran my hand down his arm. "I know, but I'm still not going to do that to you. If Chris does find out, I'm the one that should get the back of his hand, not you."

"You may not have answered the question directly, but you still answered it." He replied.

I took a deep breath. "It's... complicated."