Teen runaways

13

Liv POV:
MAJOR TW: Suicide
My world starts to close in on me and I stand up abruptly and run outside and keep running in the dark night.

The thoughts start trickling back into my memory as I start to remember that dreaded night only two months ago, after what seems like two seconds but was probably around twenty minutes I find myself back at the hangout spot.

I recklessly run into the lounge room and collapse into the fetal position as I start to hyperventilate. Suddenly I'm reliving that night once again....

I finally make it to my foster house late at night after hanging out with the group to come home to a drunk version of my foster 'father'.

"There you are you useless bitch!" She yells whilst getting up from his chair and fear grows through me, he usually only yells at me and slaps me a few times but this time it seems....different.

"Where the FUCK WERE YOU?" He yells and before I have the chance to respond he throws the half full beer bottle on me, successfully spilling the sticky liquid all over my body and my head erupts in pain.

I touch my hand to my forehead where the bottle made contact and I see blood, I feel it trickle down my face, leaving a warm feeling.

"Stupid fucking girl....so ungrateful....." he says whilst stumbling out of the house and a stray tear escapes my eye.

I've been hurt physically and mentally so many times I just don't feel anymore, my whole life is just a big numb pile filled with anxiety and sadness.

I trudge to the medicine cabinet with my intention to numb my pain, permanently. I had been planning to do this for a while but never had the balls to do it but I just don't care anymore.

I pick up the bottle and it rattles as I walk to my bedroom, I set down my pre prepared suicide notes and I take one last long breath.

Hopefully one of the last I will take.

I unconsciously keep dry swallowing the pills until the bottle does not rattle anymore, a smile spreads on my face as I start to feel my eyes grow heavy.

"Fuck everything" is the last words I manage to whisper before everything turns black.

Beat

Beat

Beat

I hear my heart beating loudly in my ears, my eyes peel open again and to my disappointment I am still in my room staring at the familiar ceiling.

Tears well in my eyes but I'm quickly overcome with the urge to throw up, grabbing my phone in the process i run quickly to the bathroom across the hall and lock it after myself.

I proceed to throw up everything in my body until I'm only gagging and dry heaving because there is nothing left.

That's when I break.

Tears continuously roll down my cheeks and my body won't stop uncontrollably shaking, i grow weak and can't stand up.

Bing

'Hey Liv u ok? Where are you?'

A text in the group chat from Jake, i look at the time and see school has just started they are probably wondering why I'm not there.

'Yea I'm all good just got a runny nose lol just chillin at home, you jealous?' I text back teasing him a little so I don't seem different or raise any concern.

'Of course! I would say get better but suffer instead!' He texts back and I only give lol as a reply.

I sit on that bathroom floor for the rest of the day too weak to get up and too numb to try and fix myself.

I just feel so lonely

——

Sobs echo through the empty house and I start shaking again, my breath becoming quick and sharp.

"There you are-Liv? LIV!" I hear Jake say and I think he walked into the room? I'm not sure my vision is too blotchy to see.

His voice is closer the next time I hear him, "hey breath slowly and count to 20 in your head"

He starts counting and breathing with me until I stop hyperventilating even though I'm still shaking and crying.

"What's going on Liv? You just bolted after talking to Tony he was scared" Jake says softly whilst pulling me into his arms so he is bear hugging me with his head on top of my head.

I would push him away any other time but i just don't have the energy to react right now, the numbness is growing in me again.

"Turns out my mother, her name is Mazie, fell pregnant with me and got kicked out of her parents house at 18, she moved in with my sperm donor Trent" i say spitting his name through my tears.

Jake pulls me closer sensing my change in tone but I continue, "turns out he was abusing her and once she gave birth to me she overdosed when she got back to Trent's place" i say crying out the last part.

"It's Not your fault, ok?" He reassures knowing what I'm thinking but I shake it off, my story isn't finished yet.

"Well two months ago remember when i took those couple of days off because I had a runny nose?" I ask and he hunms in response, i can sense the curiosity in his voice.

"I actually tried to overdose and was throwing up for like four days" i say and he tenses instantly, i simply Look at my feet in disappointment and embarrassment.

Jake suddenly lifts my chin to meet his eyes, his eyes have tears occupying them and looks like someone just shot him.

"I am so sorry you had to go through that, we should have been there for you and I want you to know it's nothing to be ashamed of you surviving just shows how strong you are" he lectures me with so much passion I would think he's talking to someone else.

I respond simply by looking at my feet, he hugs me once again sensing i feel awkward about it.

"I'll drop it now but please for love of god tell me if you even think about doing that again, wether it be a 3 in the morning or at lunch come and get me, no questions asked I will simply listen and comfort" he says and I feel his voice vibrating as my body is pressed against his chest.

"Yes?" He asks again and I simple nod my head not feeling the courage to say anything, i am so overwhelmed right now.

"Thank you for telling me, it takes a lot of bravery. Now try to sleep i can carry you back when you fall asleep" he says and starts rocking me back and forth like a child i would protest in any other situation but right now I just need someone to comfort me.

He makes me feel safe when I never have in my entire life.

——

Sorry for a bit of a sad chapter but it's another update...don't forget to vote and comment!

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