𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 · 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐈

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨

~"can't sleep?"~

I try to sleep that night, but I realize it's pointless pretty quickly. We're supposed to arrive in the Capitol around 5 A.M., since we left around 6 P.M.

After the clock reads 1 A.M. in glowing red letters, I get up and out of bed and quietly leave my room and go down to Finnick's. Carefully and noiselessly, I open his door part way and stick my head in. As I expected, he's sitting up, looking out of his window. His head immediately snaps up to see me. He sighs and gestures me in.

I go in and shut the door softly.

"Can't sleep?" Finnick asks me.

"No," I say, sitting down next to him.

"Yeah, me neither," he says, sounding tired.

"I don't think I'm really processing the fact that I'm going to the Hunger Games." I admit.

"I know. I'm waiting for it to hit you," Finnick says.

"Hope it doesn't happen in front of everyone," I say.

"That reminds me-I'm going to present you as hostile. I mean, obviously not towards the Capitol people. Suck up to them. You have to be very above it all, and I basically want you to brag, and if the Careers talk to you in a hostile way, do the same. Threaten them."

"What's the reasoning behind making enemies?" 

"Nothing else is really plausible. I only have a few options. Nobody is going to ignore you because of me. And you'd never get in with the three careers that volunteered. They'd have to be outshone by you, which sounds stupid, but it's true."

"What are we going to do about Bellamy?"

"Well, you'll probably be allies, right?" Finnick asks. I nod. "Well, you can hint that you'll be in an alliance, but don't say who or go into detail."

I rest my head against his headboard. "How do you do this every year?"

"Well, I've always had a family to come back. You, Shorlan, Kian...that always helps. Every time you think about giving up, make a list in your head of everyone you care about."

I'm quiet for a second. "I don't really have a chance, do I?"

Finnick turns to me, green eyes glowing, looking shocked. "No, Cal, you definitely have a chance. You've already got sponsors lining up, and I think that I can get you a trident as soon as the Games start if there isn't one in there already."

I pause. "Really?"

"Yes, really! I also know that you're the most skilled in combat this year, and it helps that you can handle all weapons exceptionally. And if your with Bellamy?" Finnick says. "And not to mention, the stylists are all super excited to get their hands on another Odair. They're actually bringing in two trainee stylists."

I can't think of anything else to say, so I just say "oh". And then, all of a sudden, it hits me. I burst out into tears. I don't want to do this. I don't want to kill people.

Even if it is to save myself.

Finnick draws me into his arms as I continue to cry, thinking about everything. How in order for me to live, Bellamy has to die. I don't think I can do this.

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Andi wakes Finnick and I both up at 8 A.M. We have an hour to get ready before they bring us down to the Remake Center which seems pointless considering they're supposed to get us ready, but whatever.