Hope for the Hopeless

Sophie was sitting on the bed, her maid had sorted her hair and they'd mended her dress without some much of a complaint and whilst Sophie was physically ready to rejoin the party, her heartache and her headache were almost too much to bear.

She was finally engaged to Benedict, or at least in word she was, there were no contracts signed, no betrothal ring... nothing like that but just his word that he would marry her and save her from being ruined at the hands of Phillip Cavendar.

It was the one thing her heart had wanted since she was 14 years of age, but now she had it... it felt hollow.

It was a sham. He wanted to marry someone else, he didn't want her but he was just doing the right thing, or what he thought was the right thing.

Her heart wished he wanted her the same way, she was forever trapped with the knowledge that he wanted someone else and yes whilst they were best friends, it was more than most could boast going into a marriage but she didn't want their friendship ruined when he finally began to loathe her.

She couldn't live with him hating her for trapping her into a marriage he didn't want.

Her conscious would not allow it, but before she had a chance to get up and go speak to Benedict and tell him it was best they did not marry, that she'd just go off to the country and spend the rest of her life as a spinster, or go to France and be with her mother's family away from the ton, her door opened and her father poked his head in.

"Sophie, sweetheart, are you okay?" he asked

"I'm fine Papa... i'll be out in a moment" she said with a wavery voice which did not fool her father.

"I spoke to Benedict, I am aware of the situation and that you're anything but fine..." he said walking into the room.

"I'm sorry Papa... I didn't know I was being followed... I shouldn't have gone into the garden alone" she said

"Sophie, I'm not bothered by that... I know you were in the private parts of the garden and that little rat should not have followed you, but I'm more concerned about how you're feeling. Benedict came to see me and told me of your plans" Richard said

Sophie sniffed "it's... he said..."

"I know and it's an honourable thing he's doing... but how are you darling... it's you that I am worried about. I know it's not how you want it to happen but it is getting you what you've always wanted" Richard said

"What I've always wanted was for him to love me Papa... not doing it out of pity! Not for some stupid sense of duty! He doesn't want to marry me Papa, he loves someone else. I heard him saying so... I don't know who but one day he is going to wake up and hate me... and I don't know if I can do that..." Sophie said weakly, trying desperately to fight back the tears once more.

"Sophie he's never going to hate you, and people's hearts change all the time, you never know he may realise his love for you when you are married..." Richard said

"Please Papa, do not insult my intelligence. I am nearly one and twenty, if he was going to fall in love with me it would have happened by now... but it seems this is my only option, that or go to France and live with Mama's family... exile myself from all those I love and live in shame never to return" Sophie snipped.

"Sophie, it's not that bad..."

"Papa! Phillip attacked me, he kissed me, alone in the garden, if he even squeaks one word of it, I'll be ruined, Fran and Eloise will be ruined by connection, the family will be ruined... I have no other choice" Sophie said, standing up and walking around "it's not fair! He attacked ME, in the private gardens yet I'm the one who will have to pay for it... I'm ruined Papa... ruined!" Sophie half yelled