Feysand Oneshots

Please Stay (Post ACOWAR war)

Feyre-

   The fighting had ceased hours ago, the smoke of burning bodies filling the skies against a blood-red sunset. As Myriam and Drakon left, they held up the flaps of our tent to show us a peak of the sunset. When I asked why it looked so stark red, they told me that the blood from the dead had stained the sun and that the old gods were claiming their souls.

I was still shivering at the vivid picture they painted as I stood from my cushions. I walked to a basin across the tent to wash my bloody hands and arms, unable to stand the feel for a second longer.

"I'm glad you got to meet them, but not so glad they stayed that long. I need my beauty rest," Rhys said with a sigh as he spread out farther on the settee filled with cushions in the makeshift sitting room.

I grunted in agreement as I lathered my hands with soap. Just hours ago I had seen my father die. I had seen soldiers I'd come to know, to train with, get slaughtered. Had seen my sisters do unspeakable things. I'd lost the Suriel, I'd almost lost Rh-

I shut my eyes tightly banishing the thought. The memory of mere hours ago when he'd lay there so still...so still and unmoving...

The water in the basin ran pink, then red, then brown as I scrubbed my skin. Scrubbed my skin away as if it could also scrub away the pain I'd felt today. The death, the screams, my screams, the words I'd heard.

'Be happy Feyre'

'I love you'

'BRING HIM BACK'

'Don't touch my sister'

"Shit-" I barked out, looking at my hands again. While my thoughts had been spiraling I'd scrubbed my knuckles raw, fresh blood now staining the dirty water. I immediately grabbed a rough towel and wrapped my hands as I fought back the nausea in my stomach.

I stood there soaking my bloody raw knuckles while I closed my eyes and breathed. In and out. In and out. The absurdity of today had taken its toll on my sanity in a way that I didn't want to burden Rhys with. He sat there after dying seeming perfectly fine.

Me, I was an emotional wreck. Hours ago I had been screaming and crying, killing and praying, and ten minutes ago I was entertaining new guests and playing the dutiful high lady. The insanity made me want to rip my hair out and scream. Gods, who knew I would lose it at only twenty-one years old?

But I held my tongue. I wanted to share my feelings with Rhys, I knew he'd understand, but the truth is, I was furious with him.

He had let himself die, he'd sacrificed himself without any thought of what it would do to me. The entire time Drakon and Myriam were here it was as if he'd never been gone and it made me want to vomit.

My mate sighed from his peaceful perch on the cushions before speaking.

"I need to get out there. I need to help Cassian, count supplies, make arrangements-"

"Don't be ridiculous. You know you're too injured," I bit out more harshly than I'd intended.

I could feel his eyes snap to me over his shoulder as I threw the cloth down. I didn't want to argue or upset him, especially after today, but my mind and body were a dam of emotions and anger waiting to overflow, practically seeping from my pores. I couldn't keep it at bay.

"Darling, what's wrong?"

I turned to the entrance of our tent, unable to look him in the eye for fear that I'd break down sobbing. So I played with the end of my braid, walking to the tent flap.

"People need help and you're injured. But I can help,"

It was true. I could and would help people. Helping those less fortunate had always soothed my jagged soul, and had always given me a purpose greater than myself. Today I needed that as much as the wounded needed a lending hand. I needed my mind to be quiet so I could retain my sanity.