Consumed by Fear ☽ Donnie Darko x Original Character

Anxiety

Evan bit his lip as his mind began racing upon entering the bus hand in hand. Why was he holding hands with him? Why would he want to touch him? The bus was full to the brim with highschoolers, they seemed to overflow the vehicle, filling each seat. Donnie didn't seem to care. Eyes were on them as they pushed through the isle searching for a seat. Donnie didn't seem to care. Evan hated the thought of everyone looking at him, so as soon as he spotted an empty pair of seats through all the full ones, he ducked into them and pulled Donnie down with him.

Evan sat next to the window and Donnie sat beside him, chatting to his friends sitting a little ways down the isle. The bus began pulling out with a loud screech. Evan's eyes glued to the window. It had become a gray and gloomy morning, it was cool with a subtle wind blowing the fallen leaves around in a swirl. His nose and cheeks were cold to the touch, nipped by the frosty morning air. His hand was still warmly wrapped in Donnie's, whose attention was now fully on Evan.

His eyes were fixated on his pale skin glowing pink in places. He could be an angel sent from heaven, for all he knew or cared. He seemed to fall from the sky out of nowhere as everything else felt like it was falling apart. He thought the boy looked like a painting right now, the view out of the window glowing against his dark hair, his dark chocolate eyes round and full of wonder. He was unlike anyone he'd met before, he looked and acted so different. Donnie was fascinated and wanted to know all about him.

"What?" He asked through a nervous laugh, jabbing a finger into Donnie's side to get his attention. He was unable to contain his smile as he realized he was being stared at.

Donnie bit his lip, looking away. "Nothing, you just... got something... there." He lazily pointed at the other's face, still unable to look at him out of embarrassment. Evan stifled a laugh, swatting Donnie's finger away and searching his face for answers, the subtle glow settling on Donnie's cheeks already revealing too much. He cleared his throat. "Anyways, where'd you move here from?"

"Michigan. Grandville. Wasn't as grand as it sounds."

"Middlesex can't be much more grand, why move here?"

Evan shrugged. "My mom's decision. I guess it's normal-er here or something. She wants to... start over with a clean slate. Play chess and sip wine with the other moms, go camping in the mountains in fancy cabins, anything to make up for how shitty her life used to be."

"Oh. Well, she doesn't sound very grand then either."

He shook his head, "Not really." Sometimes he wished it had been her. The thought faded from his mind as quickly as it came. He hated himself for thinking like that.

The rest of the ride they chatted about this and that, getting to know surface area level information about each other. Evan had this strange feeling when their eyes would meet, when Donnie looked at him or said his name a certain way, his stomach seemed to flutter. He tried to ignore it and brush it off as social anxiety. He couldn't let himself let his gaurd down or become vulnerable, so he'd just push it away and act normal until the feeling was gone or easier to ignore.

The bus jerked to a stop after pulling up to the school. The door hissed open, and Donnie inched his hand towards Evan's again, interlocking their fingers again and pulling the shorter boy to his feet. They climbed off the bus, Evan still red-faced. They walked inside the front doors, greeted by rows upon rows of lockers and teens scrambling around the halls. Evan shyly pulled his hand away and shoved it into his pocket, worried about other people seeing them and thinking it was something it wasn't.

Donnie noticed this, butlet his hand fall to his side. He then lead him to the front office, where he recieved his uniform and put it on in the bathroom. Donnie waited for him and walked him to his locker and first class. They learned they shared English class later that morning.

Throughout his first two classes, Evan sat in the back of both class rooms, atempting to stay as hidden as possible from the rest of the students. He briefly introduced himself when asked and quietly began working on whatever they were assigned. He was too scared to talk to anyone, and no one seemed to want to talk to him, so he kept to himself. And that was fine for him.

Evan entered his third period and Ms. Pomeroy greeted and offered for him to sit anywhere he'd like. He already liked her, she was pretty and seemed more sophisticated than his other teachers. He glanced around the room for an empty desk, but instead he found those familiar blue eyes. They were remarkable, he thought, as was the sweet smile Donnie flashed at him. Much to his luck, the seat next to him was empty, so he wandered over and sat down. Donnie seemed happy to see him, offering a fist bump as he took his seat.

"Go ahead and introduce yourself to the class, please," Ms. Pomeroy told him.

"Ummm, hi, my name's Evan, Evan Pierce, I'm 16, and I just moved here from Michigan." He smiled nervously Everyone watching him intently, causing his body to tense up. He cleared his throat and looked down at the desk. He felt his chest tighten, like a heavy rock was crushing him, as he felt a dozen pairs of eyes on his back.

"Hey," Donnie whispered, breaking Evan out of his anxiety induced trance.

"Yeah?" He swallowed and finally looked up, meeting his gaze.

"It's okay," He smiled gently, reassuringly placing a hand on the other's thigh, who quickly pulled away before his mind could wander into panic mode. Donnie took note of the reaction with furrowed brows, thinking it best to move on. "Here, I can help catch you up on the book we're reading." He pulled the book out of the pile of textbooks and papers on his desk, opening it up to the first chapter and beginning to summarize the first few.

When his fourth class released for lunch, Evan didn't bother cramming into the lunch line or searching for a place to sit. Instead he made a beeline straight to the teachers and staff bathroom which had surprisingly been unlocked. As he sat on the floor and exhaled a cloud of smoke, tension seemed to melt away from his body. He'd done this almost every day at his old school. It was his form of coping. He had been shoved into a couple lockers and ridiculed for his hair and facial piercings today, but the substance let him forget about it and let go of his negative feelings for a while.

As he exited the bathroom, the stench of marijuana seeped into the hallway, fast. He quickly turned down the hall, avoiding any and every one in his path. Though he had clearly seen a kid sniffing a bump right in front of his locker this morning, he wasnt taking any chances on getting caught. He wandered outside where not many students occupied the area, found a tree to sit under the shade, pulled his headphones over his head and peacefully read a book for the rest of lunch hour.