Rainy Day Tavern // A Chaeya Fic

Behind the Counter

Summary: Waiting was a game that Kaeya was always playing, today was no different.

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Years ago, this tavern was owned by the Winery staff. Angel's Share was a newer establishment, an investment to try and sell as much of their inventory as possible. Kaeya remembers its opening day, two years before Diluc's 18th birthday. Once upon a time, Fath– Crepus offered to let him work there, but Kaeya had initially refused. Even if this tavern was growing old and evidently not in the best shape, it was something that meant something to him and Diluc. Drinking grape juice together, and mixing drinks, he had secretly given Diluc the prototype version of the 'Death After Noon'. His reaction had been priceless, Kaeya wishes he could go back to those times.

He doesn't know why, but after he received his Vision, Diluc never came back to the tavern. He's heard that Grandmaster Varka had left on the expedition, he assumes Diluc went with him as Mondstadt's Cavalry Captain. It's been six years now, Kaeya's been counting. Diluc never came back. Kaeya's always worried that he had died during that expedition, but surely, surely someone would've come to him and tell him the news? Diluc was his family, after all, they had to tell him...

Until then, Kaeya had sworn to stay in this tavern, even when the news of paranormal activity broke out, even when many of his co-workers started quitting and he was the only one left. In a way, it felt as if he was the 'guardian' of this tavern, protecting its memories and all those moments left behind. He waits, even though no one is paying him, even though all the patrons have moved to a different tavern (perhaps Angel's Share or the Cat's Tail that Margaret had been talking about opening). He waits because he knows that when Diluc returns (when. Not if... His brother was strong like that) he'd come straight here for a glass of grape juice, telling him all about his adventures.

He knows he said they weren't brothers anymore... But he'll cling onto the hope that those were words spat out in fits of anger, that Diluc hadn't actually meant it. He knows that Diluc would return, and would check up on him. Even if... Even if Kaeya Ragnvindr became Kaeya Alberich, he knew Diluc would come to see him, just one last time. Even if it was to raise his claymore at him and finish the job he was set on all those years ago. He was sure he'd visit.

(It's not until a certain someone tells him his brother was in Mondstadt that Kaeya had begun to lose hope that Diluc would ever visit, that he would ever see him again.)

And for the longest time, he didn't. No hair nor hind of the Pyro user for years and years. It isn't until what feels like forever but had really only been six years, the tavern door opens, and Kaeya finds himself startled awake. Desperately, he clings to that hope.

The person isn't Diluc, but it's the first human contact he's had in forever. He introduces himself as Ajax or perhaps had some other name since he stumbled over his own words. Kaeya had taken that opportunity to tease him, and the name 'Tartajax' stuck. He was soaking, drenched in rain, and the bartender finds himself eagerly looking after him. It was like... It was like having a sibling to tease and make fun of again, but still being able to protect them. Ajax isn't Diluc, but the similarities were hard to miss. He embraces Ajax or whatever his name is with his whole heart, and that was the problem. The problem he brought upon himself.

Dancing in the rain, Fruity Skewers, jokes, stories, every little moment they had together... Had it meant nothing to him? He knew the looks Ajax was giving him, and in truth, Kaeya had been meaning to ask him out one day, the gift he had closed up the tavern for was still hidden beneath the counter (though, for some reason, he can't remember how he got it). The little soft toy he had childishly bought on a whim stayed hidden beneath the counter, now there was no one to give it to. No one to care for it (a bit like him, though he had grown independent on his own).

Ajax hasn't returned to the tavern in weeks, Kaeya had been counting. Has watched the sun rise and set on the horizon, has watched the days morph into weeks. He wishes he knew what he had done wrong because an expedition this long wasn't something Diluc would do. Kaeya didn't want to assume the worst, but it wasn't the first time Ajax had left on a mission without warning Kaeya. Wasn't the first time Kaeya had to wait for an eternity for something that may never return to him. Waiting for an indefinite amount of time was Kaeya's speciality, it seems.

The little narwhal plushie stares at him sadly, Kaeya reaches out to give it a reassuring pat, hugging it closer to his chest as he sighs. At least he had some form of company here. Even if it was just some soft toy he bought for Ajax. It reminded him of their memories together, just like the grape juice bottle he had bought (and had to keep replenishing... A waste).

During the weeks, sometimes he catches himself thinking about Ajax, of their memories. He doesn't like it, hates the feeling. That light-headedness in his head or the feeling in his gut... It felt like he was grieving Ajax. He isn't, he's still alive. Kaeya knows it, knows that he was safe in Mondstadt's walls... He was a Harbinger, there was no way he would die like that.

Kaeya smelt the Abyss on him, knows he's been tainted on it. That sense of bloodlust that he had tried so desperately to hide. Kaeya knows that Ajax would be fine. Even if the long weeks were telling him otherwise. The bartender tells himself that maybe he's off to Liyue, perhaps catching up with that friend of his. Zhongli, if he remembers correctly. Or maybe he was making an impromptu visit back home to Snezhnaya, telling his siblings all about his adventures.

He wonders if he's still going to tell the 'toy salesman lie' now that he's earned a more 'righteous' job as a Knight in Mondstadt. He's been telling the lie long enough that Kaeya highly doubts he'd change it, not when Teucer had so eagerly bought his lie (and the amount of toys Ajax brings home every time he visits). He wonders what kind of lies he was spinning now, Teucer's reaction, if any of them had anything to do with Kaeya if Ajax even talked about him.

Kaeya catches himself reminiscing the memories, the good and the bad. Sometimes, he goes out, sits in the rain, and stares for a moment, feeling as it runs down his body. He pretends it washes away his worries, even when they're festering deep inside. The memories stir and taunt him in his sleep. He wants them, he can't have them. They're not his to have, not anymore. He lost that privilege long ago before Ajax had even stepped into this tavern. No, that privilege was lost the day he stepped into the land of the Gods, a sinner in a blessed land.

Kaeya had never been in love before. Loving Ajax was easy, easy as breathing. Something he did unconsciously, something he needs. At one point, he thought it was a blessing, one of many blessings a sinner could allow himself. Those blessings were few, the Archons unforgiving. His Vision had been both a blessing and a curse, but Kaeya was certain that this love, loving Ajax... He was sure that it was a blessing. As time continues to stretch, however, he learns love isn't a blessing but a curse. Khaenri'ahn sinners weren't worthy of love. Khaenri'ahn sinners weren't worthy of having their love reciprocated. Khaenri'ahn sinners weren't worthy of being lobed. He had learnt that long, long ago when a blazing flame crept upon him.

He just didn't want to accept it at the time, when Diluc left him.

Kaeya doesn't know how long he'll have to wait for Ajax to return, but if it was for eternity, then he'd do so. For as long as it took, he'd wait, even if it'd kill him one day.