Do you regret it, mom?

Broken into little pieces

Quick warning: anti-abortion insults are said in this chapter, mainly guilt-tripping and used as a manipulation tactic because Kairi dared to even consider getting an abortion at some point in the past.
A lot of guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation in this one and reference to mental breakdowns and depression.

***

Kairi stayed at a hotel after leaving the house without so much as a goodbye. It was only when she was safely tucked away in her hotel en-suite she felt like she could breathe properly again.

She sighed, curled up in a corner on the hotel balcony overlooking the street below. It was dark but the streetlamps and restaurant opposite lit up the street in a blurry glow; it gave her a headache.

Kairi rested her chin on her knees and pulled the hotel bathrobe more around herself.

It had been nearly two days and she hadn't even looked at her phone, keeping it hidden away in the room drawer. She already knew there'd be a mountain of emails and texts from work waiting for her and from Gakuhou...

She grimaced, feeling her skin crawl at the thought of having to go back.

If she ever went back...

Kairi sighed and closed her eyes. "Don't be stupid..."

Of course, she had to go back, life didn't just stop. It carried on regardless if it left her behind. Besides, she couldn't just abandon her sons...

Her stomach ached when she thought about Karma and how he'd clung to her at the dinner, still small enough to hide away in her arms. Her sweet baby boy. The same sweet boy she'd left near tears to face another lecture from his father because she couldn't stand to be in that house a second longer.

Kairi cringed, burying her face in her hands. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Why couldn't she just... why couldn't she make sense of everything and just do what she was supposed to do which was... divorce? Try to make things work with her husband? Be a good mom? Be fantastic at her job?

The options felt restricted to one choice each, not a combination of two...

She looked at the drawer where her phone was hidden out of sight and tried to will herself to stand up and call her husband before life moved on without her.

Kairi stayed crouched on the balcony on the edge of the screen doors, staring at the drawer for a long while.

Was it worth even calling at this time? It was nearly midnight so the only person awake to answer would be Gakuhou, which would probably lead to a fight, and she was so tired of fighting... she was tired of everything.

She dragged a hand through her hair and tugged on the strands close to her scalp, trying to quiet the noise in her head that was blaring too much at her.

Then, the hotel phone rang, making her jump.

Kairi stared at the phone warily as it rang, smothering her unease as she stood up. She stepped into her room again and closed the balcony door.

"Hello?" She answered the phone, sitting on the bed.

"Good evening, Mrs Asano," the hotel receptionist spoke, sounding a little tense. "Apologies for calling at this time, it's just your husband is here, a Mr Gakuhou Asano, in the lobby wanting to see you," she told her, making Kairi grimace. "Would you like me to give him your room number and send him up, or would you prefer he wait down here?"

Kairi's leg shook a little as she tapped her foot up and down. "...Is he in front of you at the desk?"

There was a pause. "Yes."