Cruel Beauty

Frozen

You spend a while holding her and consoling her and she lets you, you both enjoy the skin-to-skin contact. You of course have to part at some point you wait till she falls asleep then carefully remove yourself without her waking. You go to your room and get dressed there is a faint glow about you, you can't believe after dreaming of being with her you finally got the full Baroness experience. You leave to collect her food ignoring any of the doctor's notes frankly you don't trust a supposed medical professional who smokes. You have a thought and decide to fetch her some flowers hopefully they will cheer her up. When you head back up you go into your room first and place the flowers in a vase. You politely knock and enter with her dinner setting it down on the small dinnertable. 'Oh, here she is, I was wondering where you ran off to.' You frown she is at her desk writing, she's formally dressed her glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. 'Your dinner, your ladyship.' you smirk to yourself. The Baroness stands and walks over to you lifting the silver tray she inhales the scent of the rich gravy. 'Mmm, I am famished.' you notice her hand resting comfortingly on her swollen stomach. Victoria sits down and you push her chair in for her gently touching the back of her neck. 'What have you been up to?' you sit opposite her your hand propping up your chin as you bask in her beauty.

'Just getting done what I can while I am cooped up in here.' she politely dabs her mouth and stops to take a sip of water. 'Oh, that reminds me, something for you on the desk.' she waves her hand over at her desk. You smile. 'Okay...as it happens I've something for you too.' You walk over to the desk and see the envelope with your name on it frowning in confusion opening it up. You take out the signed cheque. 'I don't understand. Do you need me to buy something for you?' The Baroness waves her hand dismissively. 'No, my dear, it's yours.' You tilt your head. 'Mine? What? Is it some sort of advance on wages?' The Baroness pierces a piece of meat on her fork biting it off and chewing politely. 'No, you will receive your regular employment wage, that's just a little something for your other services.' You are still confused but it's like someone has a dimmer switch turning you glow down. 'My other services.' you repeat steadily, you lick your lips before you speak again. 'You're paying me, this money, this is for having sex with you?' you ask sounding devastated. The Baroness being, the Baroness doesn't pick up on your emotion but nearly chokes on her dinner at your words. 'Yn! Don't be so vulgar, and keep your voice down, let's just say you went above and beyond the call of duty and leave it at that.' she takes another sip of water.

You feel humiliated, angry, embarrassed, and upset, you thought this had been the start of something that you and she were, that you had, but she's just seen you as a whore for hire. Your lips twitch trying not to burst into tears you remain with a neutral expression but you don't look at her, you can't. 'Did you say you had something for me?' she calls over to you. Your eyes are stinging with tears. 'I...uh, no, I forgot.' The Baroness frowns in confusion you hear the cutlery on the plate as she cuts up her food half paying attention to you. 'Nothing,' you screw the cheque up in your hand. 'Not a damn thing.' You swiftly head for the door and she picks up on the vibe, something is wrong, something isn't right. 'Yn?' she places down her knife and fork. 'Yn?!' you storm out of the room and slam it closed turning the key. Victoria frowns and gets up resting a hand on her bump she moves the tapestry and tries the door. 'Yn?' it's locked. 'Yn?!' she raps her knuckles hard on the door with a look of annoyance. 'Yn?!' she repeatedly tries the handle. You can't stop the tears running down your face as you push the vase of flowers into the waste basket and leave to get some air. 'Yn?' The Baroness repeatedly knocks.

You leave heading outside you breathe shakily a hand on your chest you feel physically sick to your stomach pacing the stables of Hellman Hall. 'Ms yn?' you turn to see the Baroness's valet watching you. 'Are you quite alright?' You smile through your tears and nod fanning your eyes with your hand. 'I'm fine, I'm fine I just need a moment.' you insist turning from him. A few seconds later a hand stretches in front of you offering a handkerchief. You look up at John pathetically and take it wiping your tears away. 'Thank you. I'm such an idiot.' you shake your head at yourself. 'Would you perhaps like to join me inside for a cup of tea?' he offers. You think about it and nod, he takes you to his room. It's not as large as the one the Baroness gifted you but it's a million times better than the ones the maids get. 'What's the matter?' John fixes you both tea as you seat yourself in a cozy green armchair. 'It's complicated.' you reply awkwardly. 'Might it have anything to do with the, uh, noises coming from her ladyship's chambers this morning?' You blush furiously at his words and can no longer make eye contact. 'I don't need the gory details, yn, let us just assume I know that part. What happened after that?' You purse your lips then raise your chin looking at him. 'See for yourself.' you reach into your pocket tossing the balled-up cheque at him.

John smoothes out the cheque and nods. 'Ah.' You curl up in the chair. 'And...you are upset because the amount is not enough?' he tests the waters. The glare you shoot him sends a shiver down his spine. 'You are upset because you did not want this at all.' he confirms. You sniff. 'Of course not! I never for a moment thought that she would think...I just thought that there was....something.' you cover your eyes as you cry. John listens to you and lets you cry for a while. 'I can understand how upsetting that must have been for you.' You give a bitter laugh. 'You have no idea!' John clasps his hands in his lap. 'Of course I do, you are in love with her.' You immediately snap around to him with an incredulous look on your face. 'I'm not "in love" with her, that would be utterly ridiculous. I mean, I can't be.' John gives you a knowing look. 'How long have you felt this way?' he asks not letting you shrug out of the revelation. You stare at him. 'The afternoon tea, I always found her beautiful, but it wasn't till I heard her, how fierce and passionate she was about her brand. The rest of those leeches wouldn't know hard work if it bit them on the arse. She's so talented, she is a wicked genius and has an eye for fashion and art that I couldn't begin to understand. I knew then she was special.' John nods. 'How long have you known I've been following her around like an idiot with puppy eyes?' John smiles. 'I'd my suspicions when you rescued her from the wine cellar, they were confirmed on Halloween night. You couldn't take your eyes off of her.' You find yourself blushing.

'Ah, well, it was all a waste of time anyway.' you shrug. John takes a sip of tea. 'Might I give you some advice, Ms Yn?' You roll your eyes. 'Sure, why not, fire away.' John takes your hand. 'Don't give up on her. Right now, she is hormonal, she's vulnerable, but I have never seen her more happy or more human, than when she is with you. You've changed her. The Baron will not nurse her through this pregnancy, she needs you now more than she will ever admit to you. It may be hard for you, it may be hellish, but if you truly do love her, you will nurse her to term with the child.' You listen to his words wiping your tears. 'So, what? Just go back to pretending everything is normal like nothing happened. She felt it, the connection between us I know she did I saw it in her eyes how can I pretend that didn't happen?' your brow creases in frustration. 'If you love her, you will stand by her, god knows he never did and he never will.' he finishes and you can detect the anger in his tone. 'John...have you and the Baroness ever...?' John chuckles. 'I'll let you in on another little secret, I've never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you, but I have had my suspicions for a while though that she prefers the fairer sex.' You blink in surprise. 'Wow....You've checked her out though right?' John bristles. 'Well, I'm still a man.' You burst out laughing.

Hearing raised voices outside you and John both dash out of his quarters and look up the stairs. 'Call the doctor, call the doctor now!' his voice echoes out and several staff members have arrived. 'My wife is having a miscarriage, why are you all standing there you lazy fools!' The staff immediately start bustling around in a panic John quickly dives into action calling a doctor. 'Victoria.' you whisper to yourself. You clear the stairs in seconds when you arrive in her chambers you see she is on the floor her back against the tapestry that hides the door to your room and you immediately go chalk white with fear. The Baron is crouched beside her whispering to her, you start to wonder if it is you who are the true monster. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay, I don't care what it is, it doesn't matter.' You watch him he's actually being sweet and comforting, deep down, did he truly love his wife? He gets up shoving past you and walks to the top of the stairs again. 'Where the hell is that doctor?!' The Baroness shakily holds her hand out to you, you see the blood on her fingers. You feel so guilty you think of running but you can't nor can you go to her, your frozen. John rushes into the room and without hesitation bundles Victoria in his arms. 'Everything is going to be fine?' he reassures her. The Baroness is trembling her lips quiver against the shell of his ear. 'He found out, the child I am carrying, it's female.'