Knotted Hearts- Simon Riley × Reader

Try

I gotta be - jagged edge
(Sorry this one took me forever ♡)

You woke from a horrible nightmare, the peak of it happening right as you opened your eyes in the dark and you unintentionally rolled yourself out of bed as you tried getting away from whoever it was in your dream and hit the floor and the silent sob broke from you as sat on your knees and leaned down on your elbows, your palms flat on the carpet.

Simon heard the thump in his sleep and then your god-awful cry, he immediately grabbed his gun from under the bed thinking someone broke in and hurt you, and turned the lamp on in a frantic state but you were on the other side of the bed on the floor, another loud sob came from you, it was fucking terrible and made Simon's eyes water at the gut-wrenching sobs.

He was by your side in a blur, tossing the gun to the bed, but you were confused and hysterical and scrambled away from him.

"You can't." You croaked out between sobs and tried crawling away towards the bathroom.

"You'll get it on you." You cried, looking at his pained face and his pure form. You didn't want to taint him with the energy of the sick men you were dreaming about.

Simon knew this would happen; he watched you with glossy eyes and cautiously followed you but didn't touch you as you demanded.

You halfway crawled and pushed yourself up and flew into the bathroom, and turned the shower on with shaky, rushed hands.

You didn't care to remove your clothes or shut the shower curtain, all you cared about was getting the icky off.

You stood under it, the cold water didn't shock the pain away like you had hoped and you sat in the tub as the water cascaded over your head.

You hurriedly grabbed the soap and washcloth and tried scrubbing it away but the feeling stayed, it clung to your chest like superglue and you yelled out in frustration.

Simon bent down near the tub and you looked up at him, soaked and sobbing.

"It won't come off! I- I can't get it off it wont-" you cried and he tried to grab the washcloth but you yanked it away.

"You cant! You can't! it'll get on you too!" You were lost in a state of flashbacks and overwhelming PTSD and Simon had to bring you back.

He went to climb in but you tried holding him back, placing your hands on his chest but he continued, determined to bring you to safety in your mind.

"Stop it! I'm ruined! I'm no good anymore!" You rambled trying to push him away, the water sloshing around your struggles, but he settled in the tub in front of you and grabbed you and held you tightly against him so your face was pressed between his hands and chest, he rubbed your back as you sobbed into him, the flashbacks flooding your mind and replacing your vision with them.

He was breathing heavy, and his heart raced seeing you like this.

Like he's been, only he was alone when he used to have these episodes.

"You're safe, and you're here with me, Simon, in our home, in our tub. I'm here with you." He said every word carefully and slowly, and you nodded.

You tried repeating the mantra in your head, one that'd stick with you until you no longer have to remember it.

Until one day the memories you make with Simon over time will cloud your past, each good memory would be like an eraser, clearing away everything your subconscious mind was susceptible to.

You sat up from him and tried to yank your shirt off in a hurry, your breathing picking up more as it clung to you.

You needed to get these clothes off, just dreaming about the awful man touching you while wearing them was enough to make it feel like he actually touched you in them.