Orphan Dreams

Part 10

Alexander hadn't been able it get in touch with Emmy. She wouldn't come with the kids to deliver the lunch to the workers, so Alexander chose to take the message and give Emmy some space. He had even thought of going to the bakery, but he didn't want to force his presence when it was clear that she didn't want him around her.

That's what Alexander have been telling himself.

But truthfully, going to the bakery means answering questions he wasn't ready to answer yet. Alexander was afraid that Emmy wouldn't understand the reason behind his risky wanderings. Not that he would blame her, he wasn't sure he understood either.

Sure, he could talk about his early life on the farm and how that life had been robbed from him so he seeks to duplicate the excitement he felt in his old life. But that wasn't the only reason. Alexander decided that if he wanted to come clean to Emmy then he must give the whole truth. Not only a portion of it.

One day after wasting time in his office, Alexander decided that he is never going to feel ready. In fact, each day that passes makes him grow less ready and more anxious. It's best to get things over with before it's too late, Alexander reasoned with himself as he left his office much earlier than he usually does.

Alexander went into the bakery and saw Emmy alone behind the counter so he went to one of the tables and waited for her lunch break or until one of the older kids could take her place for a couple of minutes.

He didn't wait for long. Kate took Emmy's place, and sooner than he would have expected Emmy came toward him. However, he didn't expect Emmy to point out of the bakery then wait for him by the bakery's entry door. Does her desire to have their conversation in private mean good or bad thing?

They didn't go far from the bakery, but they still had their privacy in the alley behind the bakery. Alexander was waiting for Emmy to start screaming at him or something, he hadn't excepted for her to simply lean against the wall and wait for him to talk.

"aren't you angry?" Alexander knew that wasn't the best question to ask but he couldn't help himself.

"I am but I want to hear your reasons before deciding for how long I must stay angry," Emmy folded her arms and waited.

Alexander cleared his throat and shifted on his feet nervously, "where would you like me to start? There is a lot to go through."

"Was any of it real?" she asked softly.

"Not all of it," Emmy looked more started than hurt by his admission, "at first it was pretend. I disliked you for judging me without knowing me first, especially when you spread your personal feelings to young kids who don't know better."

Emmy dropped her eyes to her feet and started kicking pebbles, "I couldn't help it that was the way we were raised. But I should have known better than to spread hate to kids, I guess I learned that from you." she chuckled to herself. Alexander felt more confused than ever.

"I guess you want to know why I do what I do and why I lied to you in the first place." Emmy's eyes met his ones more but this time they were filled with sadness. Just like that, the feeling that Emmy wasn't taking their conversation seriously disappeared in its place was the anxiety of the upcoming truth.

"I was bord. I wanted excitement so I sought it in the most reckless manner imaginable. I guess part of your initial judgment about rich people still holds." Alexander laughed nervously unable to reveal the rest.

Emmy crossed her arms over her chest. The serious woman taking the place of the vulnerable girl, "that doesn't explain why you don't it anymore nor why you chose to hide it from me. That is unless deception provided you with enough entertainment to prevent you from risking your life meaninglessly. I hope am wrong about this explanation but it's the only one that make sense."

"Some of it is right," Alexander went on as he noticed her shoulders stiffen with outrage, "I did stop because knowing you and the kids has filled a hollow inside of me that I have been trying to fill with meaningless risky actions. But deception wasn't what satisfied me." Alexander struggled against his next words but he knew he had to say them if he didn't want to lose Emmy. The thought alone gave him chills, "it is just that you guys belong to me," he felt Emmy's outrage but put up his hand to stop her from interrupting him. Alexander had the feeling he would never have the courage to ever admit this again.

"All I do from financial work to social contributions feels inherited from by late older brother that's why I hate doing them. I feel that even though I work hard all the credit goes to my brother and father who started the legacy before me. I want to do something that they can't do. Do something because I want to and not because am supposed to. Walking in the night felt like something no noble could do, that's why the ridicules act felt empowering to me. And you guys..."

Alexander faced Emmy to test for reaction but found none so he went on before he could lose courage, "you guys chose to know me when you didn't have to. When you were warned against. That's why I feel truly myself with you guys. But you Emmy." he took her hand and surprisingly she didn't pull away, "you are inspiring to me. You told me once that I was a great leader but to me it is you whom I consider as a true leader."

They both lay in silence. Alexander recovering from his truth and Emmy trying to process that same truth. Then she finally spoke, "what about the bank?"
alexander was startled. The bank was the last thing he expected her to say, "what about it?"

"Nobody would have done it. It was purely your own."

Alexander shook his head, "it was an order from my father, I simply decided the site which he thinks is a terrible decision. The only reason he is going along with it is because he thinks I need to fail to learn."

Emmy shrugged, "maybe he is right. After all he is a better business why man than I am and know better, but the people here are grateful for you for giving them a chance to advance themselves when many investors deemed them unworthy. Your action may eliminate many prejudices just like it did to mine,"

"Emmy, why aren't you upset by all of this?" he swallowed, "does our relation not mean anything to you?" Alexander have been delaying their confrontation because he feared that it would end their friendship but he didn't expect Emmy to be so chill with all of this. Surely if she cared about him, surly she would feel upset.

Emmy hesitated for a second, "people tend to be judgmental around orphans but you my lord were kind to us from the start even when we didn't deserve it that's why I feel that I owe to listen to you before casting any form of judgment. Also, there is one more thing I haven't told you about." Emmy started rubbing her arms nervously. Alexander had a feeling that he wouldn't like what he was about to hear.

"I won't be able to stay in the orphanage much longer, so I wanted to end our friendship on good terms,"

Alexander felt his stomach tighten, "why didn't you tell me before?"

Emmy shrugged, "I didn't think you would stay for long, and the thought didn't pop up until recently.

"You thought I wouldn't care."

Emmy dropped her eyes once more. Alexander felt his temper flaring. He took her by the shoulders once more but more roughly this time, "I care about you Emmy, you can come back with me."

Emmy pushed his hands away, "then what? Court me? Enjoying my company and making me a lady are two different things. A relationship with you comes with a lot of responsivities. How do you know if I was capable for all of that?"

"If you weren't up to the responsibility, I wouldn't fall in love with you in the first place." Emmy's jaw dropped open then closed and opened once more. Alexander smiled. It was the first time he saw Emmy this flustered.

Alexander cradled her face in his hands marveling at its softness, "I never considered you as less than me. Am not the type of person who keeps useless company," his thumbs began stroking her checks gently. He could feel Emmy leaning into his touch slightly, Alexander wasn't sure if Emmy was aware of her slight movement, but it meant a lot to him.

"Come with me and take as much time as you need to get familiar. I would be alongside you in every step."

"Why would you be willing to wait?" Emmy asked softly. Hesitantly.

Alexander smirked, "am sure I wouldn't be waiting for long."

Emmy laughed and smacked his shoulder playfully. Alexander's heart soared.