"don't test me" he growls and i look up with my siren eyes acting as innocent as possible. "or what are you going to put me in my place" i whisper slowly and his hands clasp around my neck. "i'll fuck you into the ground and then put a bullet betwee...
another fucking month and my periods are still not here. i mean i keep buying pads because my mom was like do you need some you didn't get any in a while and i was like yeah i have a couple left but i'll buy more. okay i may have slept with him but that was only like 6 times. yeah but then each time did have at least 3 rounds. fuck.
maybe my periods are just being irregular.
yeah but they're never irregular another voice in my head says.
he used protection
yeah but that was only a couple of times remember you wanted to try without a condom and then you both decided you preferred it without the voice says in my head annoyingly and i'm about to bang my head into the wall.
and you're craving spicy food all the time the voice continues irritating me.
what on earth am i going to do. i can't have a baby i'm only 16. i'm not ready to be a mom and i can tell you for certain he probably isn't ready either. but i can't have an abortion either and i don't think i'd be able to do it. i should had the after pill or something i can't have been so stupid. do i tell him? i mean it is his child but he's probably going to turn around and tell me that i'm lying. he probably thinks i'm a whore even though he was my first.
you know what i'm not pregnant. i say to myself looking in the mirror but i have been getting a little bigger. i keep repeating to myself i'm not whilst staring at my side profile in the mirror until there is a knock. "come in" i yell grabbing a cardigan and putting it on to cover my self.
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it's a maid she looks at me smiling. "mr khalil is asking that you come and join everyone for breakfast" she says and i nod telling her i'd join them in a bit. i was hoping to just sneak out and not have to deal with everyone but now i will have to. i try and make my clothes seem as baggy as possible and start to head downstairs.
once i make it downstairs father looks up and smiles. "come on butterfly we were waiting for you" dad says and now i feel even worse. dad absolutely fucking loves me to bits and does everything i ever ask for and i just turned around and ignored his warnings. i take a seat and everyone looks at me weirdly including mom.
"i'm surprised you're not showing skin"mom says and dad frowns looking at her. "don't say anything to my butterfly she can wear what she wants" dad says and then he picks up my plate and starts filling it up with food. "you're awfully quiet today" amir says looking at me worried and i shrug even dad looks at me concerned.
"is everything okay?" he asks placing the plate in front of me and i nod digging into my food trying not to cry. no everything is not okay. when you find out you'll probably kill me. or maybe you won't i don't know you'll do.
"cramps?" mum asks and i just nod going along with the lie. dad looks at me worried and then calls a maid. "get me a hot water bottle" he tells her before getting up and walking into the kitchen. everyone looks at him so confused as he walks away. dad doesn't go into the kitchen he literally hates cooking or stuff like that.
