Falling

Chapter One

*TW: suicide, depression, mentions of Self Harm, SA*
DONT READ IF YOU DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE. YOU CAN SKIP THIS STORY.

Harry's pov
I could feel the dryness and crust of my eyes as I peeled them open. This wasn't supposed to happen...

I was supposed to be gone.

Where the fuck was I anyways?

I was snapped from my thoughts when there was a gentle knock on my door before it opened and a figure came into the room.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, trying to get a clear view of the person.

"Oh you're awake! Lovely." The man smiled as he came over to my bed. He was dressed in a matching royal blue set of scrubs that accented his icy, bold eyes which were peering down at me warmly.

"I'm nurse Louis, or nurse Tomlinson, whichever you'd prefer." He told me as he stood next to my bed.

Nurse?

Now it was coming back to me...

I know where I am.

A fucking psych-ward.

"I'm not supposed to be here..." I rasped quietly, my throat dryer than I thought. Figures, seeing as I haven't spoken in what seems to be days.

"Well Harry, your injuries are very serious. You are directly where you're supposed to be. I assure you" He told me, checking the monitor that was currently connected to my heart.

"No..." I insisted, pushing myself up but feeling a searing pain in both of my forearms...reminding me of what I did, of that night...

"I'm not supposed to be alive." I continued, watching his facial expressions which remained neutral and caring.

"Well that's where I have to disagree with you love. However, we don't have to get into that now alright? What matters is that you're awake and doing better." He avoided the conversation I was very clearly trying to have.

Why did everyone have to be so optimistic all the damn time?

They couldn't have just let me die like I needed to?

This is bullshit...

"Now that you're awake, we can start by taking these off." He told me, putting on latex gloves so that he could take off my heart monitor. He very gingerly unbuttoned the front of my gown that I was wearing and I watched him as he took off the heart monitors stuck to my chest.

Looking up at him, now noticing his facial features and just how blue his eyes were I was a bit shocked.

I'd honestly never seen someone so beautiful in my life. Apart from his striking blue eyes, he had brown sugar colored hair, thin but kissable lips, and well, his cologne smelt like heaven.

No...I should not be thinking this. I would never stand a chance with him. He's my fucking nurse for crying out loud, and who would want to be with an insane person anyways?

Since I was thinking, I didn't really hear him say anything. I didn't even realize until he was now looking me in the eyes.

"What?" I whispered, not holding eye contact for long.

"Mind if I change your bandages?" He asked as he motioned down to the bandages covering me from my wrists all the way up my forearms.

I stared down at them, remembering what it was like to get these...

Nevertheless I nodded, not liking that idea but knowing it probably had to be done.

Louis peeled back the bandages and revealed the stitches that were currently in my arms. I hadn't seen the damage I had done until now and it brought me back to the place I was in on that night.