Falling

Chapter Five

TW// Suicide, self harm, depression

Entry 3~

Art...

This is something that I've enjoyed for a very long time. I remember the first time I discovered that I could draw, I was in math class taking a test when I started doodling on the paper because I was so behind that I had no clue how to do the work.

After that I took art classes and those were about the only ones that I could pass with flying colors.

So my heart swelled when Louis said that he'd actually made it to where we would have an art class.

This was the only thing good that was coming out of this whole thing...

Louis...

•
Louis' pov:
"Good morning. How are we today?" I asked as I walked into Harry's room. He was already up and writing in his journal which he closed quickly as I approached. 

"I'm okay...today's the day with the art class right?" He asked, which made me smile.

He was excited about it and that made my heart happy. "It is! Are you wanting to join?" I ask while he was looking down at his lap.

"Yeah...if that'd be okay?" He mumbled, looking up and making timid eye contact with me. "Of course it's okay! The teacher will be here right after lunch so you can go directly there" I answered enthusiastically.

I did all of my morningly duties with him and soon enough it it was time for the art class.

Me and a lot of the other nurses spent the patients' lunch time setting up easels with canvases, pallets, paint brushes, paint, and cups of water. I really wanted this to be a special experience for everyone...

Especially Harry.

•

The teacher had gotten there and the patients were all ready for the class. Harry had come, however he was sat in the back and wasn't really saying much to anyone.

I'm counting this as a win regardless, he's out of his room.

I did my other rounds while the class was going on only coming back towards the end of the class. The patients were supposedly learning how to do a simple winter scape with a blueish background and blending.

I walked around to everyone's canvases, seeing what they'd done. Majority of them had followed the directions of the teacher and replicated the painting. Until I got to Harry, who was putting the finishing touches on his painting.

It looked like he started out with the swirling blue and whites for the winter scape that the teacher was teaching. Then, he'd gone completely off track and had painted the hands and feet of a person which seemed to be falling instead of the trees and snow which the other patients had painted.

To be completely honest though...Harry's was incredible.

Although the message someone falling into an abyss was giving was quite deep, Harry had put such a beauty and creativeness into it that I was honestly a little shocked.

I'd figured out that he could draw really well, but I'd never known just how good he was until today.

"Woah..." I whispered when I saw his panting, "this is absolutely amazing Harry. Truly."

Harry looked up at me, still holding a brush and adding small details but when I said that his cheeks went this rosy shade of red that made my heart flutter.

I had remind myself I was at work, Harry was my patient, nothing could happen...but why did he have to be so damn adorable?

•

It was around 9:30, I was just getting ready to end my shift. When I do this I normally walk to each of my patients' room so make sure they're settled for the night before I leave. Normally they were getting ready for bed or sleeping already, it just depended on the individual.

Harry was my last patient on my rounds and he was normally always awake. Despite that, today he was laying in his bed fast asleep.

That is...until I walked in...

When I entered his room he started to whine in his sleep, becoming restless and eventually stirring. He sat up with a fright and put a hand to his chest before starting to cry.

"What happened? What's going on?" I asked, coming over to him as he was breathing quickly and covering his face.

It was obvious that he'd had a nightmare and was on the verge of a panic attack.

I put my hand very gently on his back and he sobbed sadly. "I-I can't escape it Louis..." he cried, the tears from his eyes soaking the sleeves of the sweater he was wearing.

"Escape what darlin?" I asked, trying to remain calm and collected for his sake because he was having a very difficult time.

"The thoughts, the nightmares, everything. I-I've tried so hard to get rid of them. The only way is to get rid of myself. Why can't people understand that? They don't know what it's like to have no one. I don't have anyone around to help me get rid of these thoughts, I don't have anyone to be a relief. You know how easy it would be to just forget I existed?" He sobbed, now looking up at me as he'd completely flooded the dam in his mind and was opening up to me more than ever before.

"I wouldn't just be able to forget you existed Harry. I'm here for you now, I care." I told him sincerely, making room for myself on the edge of his bed as he was sobbing pitifully in front of me.

"But it's your job to do all of those things..." he whispered, tears dripping down off his cheeks and landing on his chest.

"Well yeah. But just because it's my job doesn't stop me from making bonds with the people I take care of. You're important Harry, you may not feel that in your heart. But I do...I want you here. You have a part to play in this world." I told him, honestly opening up to him more than I had any patient as well.

Something about him...I just wanted to keep him safe, to be there for him.

"I don't believe you Louis..." He sobbed, his eyes becoming an even deeper green as the tears filled them.

"I know...but can you make me a promise?" I asked, not believing what I was even saying...

But here I was saying it.

He nodded softly so I continued. "Will you promise me that you'll try and let me help you to believe me? I'll do anything I can for you to believe me." I told him truthfully.

I wanted him to feel needed, less alone, I wanted to be his someone.

Harry was still crying as he looked back up at me. "Really?" He whispered like it was too good to be true.

"Honestly, really...I want you to see how great you are. I mean, firstly you're an amazing artist. I dunno how you can't see that. I mean, you're honestly just incredible!" I exclaimed, making him giggle a little tearfully.

I smiled at him, standing up, I was about ready to leave. "Well my shift is over...but I want you to know that I will try my best. I want to be here for you" I told him.

He stared at me with a sad little smile and I turned to leave but he grabbed my hand before I could.

"Can you maybe just stay a little longer? I mean...just until I fall asleep? It's kind of hard for me here..." he whispered, his eyes tired and desperate.

So I pulled up a chair...

Then I sat with him until his eyes finally fell closed and I ended my shift for the night.

There was something special about Harry...It made me want to take care of him more than any other patient I'd had.

I was just drawn to him...

Hey guys! Another chapter down! I'm really hoping you like this story so far! If so feel free to leave votes and comments! They are much appreciated!

Lots of love,
Violet