𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 - Matt Sturniolo

ᴛᴇɴ

࿇ ══━━━━✥ Aurora ✥━━━━══ ࿇

The next day I woke up in matt's arms. And there was this feeling inside me, a warm, good feeling for matt that scared me. I had never felt this way before.

I looked at the clock on his wall. 09:32am. I had slept enough and was no longer tired, but I did not want to get out of bed, away from him.

I felt so comfortable with him and nowhere in the world did I feel so at home and loved. With him I forgot my worries and my self-hatred. And these feelings confuse me.

These were feelings that I should not allow for the safety of him and me. For him it would be painful because if he would feel only approximately the same I would have to break his heart because I was just not able to lead a relationship. I still had too much of a secret and I wasn't healthy enough for that.

And it would break my heart to break his heart. He was my favorite person. He had taken care of Phoebe where I couldn't and now he was taking care of me, which he didn't have to but he couldn't help it, he was just like that.

He was so kind. He should date a girl who wants him to take care of her, who is well and has no mental problems. The complete opposite of me.

But when I imagined that another girl would be in his arms instead of me, I felt a little sick. Was I jealous? No. I would be totally happy if he had a girl who loved him, even if it wasn't me.

I shook my head. What was I thinking about?

I looked at his face and in the next moment he opened his eyes. It took less than a second for him to start grinning.

"Were you watching me sleep?" he asked, his eyebrows raised playfully.

"No, I just woke up and I didn't want to wake you up," I said and tried to get out of his arms.

But before I could let go of him, he grabbed my arms and pushed me back into the mattress. He looked down at me with a wry grin. I couldn't help laughing.

"What are you doing?" I asked, holding his elbows in my hands.

"I just woke up and I want to enjoy your company before you leave. He explained.

"Who says I'm leaving?" I asked and his smile widened. The whole thing had something flirtatious about it.

And then we looked deep into each other's eyes. And somehow I got lost in his ice blue eyes, I couldn't find the way out to look at anything else. I was so stupid to think that I could ever break his heart.

If I had to do that I would break into a thousand pieces and it would probably go so far that I would have to go back to the clinic. So if there are feelings, I have to return them, right?

I don't know what would have happened next if someone hadn't ripped the door open. Nick interrupted his sentence when he saw us. We looked at him and he looked at us.

In his face there was only surprise. "NICK, KNOCK!" Matt shouted angrily.

And I rolled my eyes so he only made it worse. Now nick will think he caught us doing something intimate.

"Okay, sorry to interrupt whatever it is you're doing. Mom's making breakfast. That's all I wanted to say," he said, shaking his head as he closed the door. I could only be heard saying, "I can't stand this flirting."

I quickly broke away from Matt and ran after Nick. Nick looked at me questioningly. "Whatever you think that was in there. No." I said and squinted his eyes.

"What was it?" he asked.

"What was what?" Chris asked, coming around the corner.

"I accidentally disturbed Matt and Aurora in bed, whatever they were doing," said Nick.

"Shut up nick, you didn't interrupt anything" said Matt coming out of his room. We both knew that we were having an intense moment and that nick had disturbed us, but they didn't need to know that.

"Okay, let's just drop this and go to the kitchen for breakfast." I said and pointed towards the kitchen.

࿇ ══━━━━✥ Matt ✥━━━━══ ࿇

Aurora walked towards the afternoon. This morning she had talked forever with my mother and at noon we just sat in my room and talked. It had been so nice.

But something had been different. Today I got the feeling for the first time that she might feel the same as me.

When I closed the door behind her and turned around, Nick and Chris looked at me. Which told me that I probably owed them an explanation. But I had no idea what that was today.

"So what's going on between you two?" asked Nick.

"I don't know." I answered, whereupon both groaned annoyed and rolled their eyes.

"Did something happen or something?" asked chris.

"Not exactly,"

""Well, this morning looked pretty straightforward." Nick said.

"Oh, and I didn't see it." Chris complained.

"It was nothing, nick. We just woke up." I told him.

"You were cuddling." I wanted to contradict but he was right.

"Yes, but you can do that as friends." I said instead.

"But friends definitely don't look at each other like that." Nick said and I just shook my head.

I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with my brothers. And it upset me that nick was right. Friends would never look at each other like that. It was way too intense and we had been so close and the urge to kiss was there.

"You don't talk back." Chris stated with a smile. I didn't react but for the single reason that I didn't know what to say.

Nick noticed that I was struggling with myself and calmly said, "Matt, just admit that you fell in love with her again." I looked at him.

Yes I had, very slowly without realizing it. "You're right, I love her".

,,Wuhhhhh" made chris and clapped, stood up and hugged me. "That's great, just great." He was way too happy about the realization.

"Chris don't get too excited, we have no idea how she feels." I said.

"Bitch, have you seen how she's been able to laugh since you started spending time together again?" my older brother said, looking at me incredulously.

"I swear he's right Matt. She's laughing a lot more and she looks happy again. And I don't want to be mean, but her skin has gotten more color and the bags under her eyes are almost gone." Said Chris before he got a slap on the back of the head from me.

But were they right?