Roommates [h.s]

Three

E d w a r d s

The rest of the night consisted of me working on my project and finishing it up. I basically had to print out all of the photos and tape them to the wall and make a collage out of them.

My mind kept drifting to the girl Harry was taking out and to him. I kept wondering if he'd kiss her or not. And as selfish as this sounds, I wanted to be his first kiss. I wanted to feel the taste of his plump lips against my own. I wanted his arms around me and not her.

But we don't always get what we want. And what I want is Harry. And maybe it will never be.

The last picture slipped from my hand and I shook my head twice to bid the thoughts of the boy I loved. The aching pain in my chest stayed, though. Somehow I felt it was permanent rather than temporary; that's what I was afraid of the most.

I picked up the picture and taped it to the wall, sighing to myself with a small smile; satisfied with my accomplishment. It looked great from where I was standing. All I had to do in the morning was take a picture of the collage (only because of the lighting) and take it to class and show it to the professor.

I decided to take a bath that night, putting on some music, preferably a mix of Harry and I's favorites. I knew he had a thing for this band called The 1975 and I had a mix of a bit of pop and indie rock with a little of heavy metal. Some people wouldn't think twice about the type of music I'd listen to because of my appearance. I honestly thought it was sexist in some way.

The bathroom was drowned out the entire night with Harry's favorite band and The Neighbourhood and As December Falls.

The music made my chest ache even further because every word screamed Harry at me, and I kept gripping the sides of the tub with my finger. The bubbles covered most of my body and the water soothed the physical pain.

I heard the door shut and my heart fell slightly, remembering now it was Harry.

"Vi!" He calls my name, in a breath and I hear him put his keys on the counter somewhere.

"In here, Bud," seconds later Harry's head peaked through the crack of the bathroom door and Harry's eyes were squinted closed.

"Can I come in?" He rasped;  uncertain. I chuckled silently and nodded.

"Yeah come in, you won't go blind, I heard him laugh quietly, the door opening slowly, revealing a rather tired Harry. I smiled at him, Harry returning it with dimples and soft gazing eyes. He made sure not to drop his gaze from my eyes, and my heart beated quickly because I knew why.

He took a seat on the covered toilet, resting his elbow on his thigh, his eyes fixated on me. I couldn't help but let my hands go under the water and grip the top of my thighs, my fingernails digging into the skin of them. I shouldn't be this jealous and selfish because be went out with another girl. I shouldn't have to be worried if he kissed or not. It's not in my say if he shouldn't or shoul. Because it is his first kiss. He can share it with whomever he'd like.

Just like I did. And I regret it with every single blood cell in my body.

"How was your night, with uh, what's her name?"

I look over to the boy I was in love with, and tried to muster up a smile, and it was painful. It really was.

Something flashed behind his eyes but I didn't really understand.

"Er, Vanessa," I let out a sigh and lean against the tub. He continues to stare at me, his green eyes pale. "And yeah, uh it was nice, she's kind of boring really," as bad as this was going to sound, I was glad he thought she was boring. I was glad he wasn't as excited about her.

I was a selfish bitch, but I didn't give a damn at this point.

"Oh? Why's that?" I dare ask, trying to hide my smile and amusement. I looked over to Harry, staring at his jeans, a frown placed onto his unkissed lips, and my heart ached really because he was sad. I felt it.

I rubbed my legs under the water and took in deep breaths as he began to talk.

"I donno, she wasn't as interesting really, all she did was talk about her degree, or things about herself, not once did she really ask about me, or anything about me, it bothered me you know?" I clench my jaw and nod. I hated that he was associating with a bimbo like her. Harry deserved the world. He was kind and sweet, and made sure everyone was happy before himself. He was selfless and I loved him more for that.

"You shouldn't be around people like that Harry, it's not healthy. And I honestly think it was a prick move of her to talk just about herself, conceded really." I huff and move my hands around in the water, taking the razor and raising my leg, gliding the razor carefully over my skin.

Once done, I settle it back on the edge of the tub. Harry sighs and I look over him to see him watching me with curious eyes.

"What?" I ask shyly, a soft smile playing onto my lips, faint and barely there. He only shakes his head.

"I can't believe you've never dated anyone after Jack, you're more than bloody amazing," I had to swallow my gasp and look down so my blushed cheeks wouldn't show from his small compliment, yet it meant more than just small to me.

"Not really, and I'm just.. waiting for my significant other," I whispered barely. "Did you kiss her?" I added. I heard a barely audible 'no' pass his lips, and my body relaxed.

I looked up at him once again and saw him looking at the wall behind me. He looked like he was choking back his words and pushing aside his thoughts. I only cleared my throat and Harry stood up, leaving the bathroom for me to dry up.

After drying up and putting on some clothes, we both decided to call it a night, both of us heading to our own rooms. As I lay in my bed, I couldn't help but feel slightly alone, like I was missing something. Like I was empty in a way. I couldn't help, as well, but imagine the way Harry's arms would feel around me, holding me close against his hard chest.

I locked my jaw and let out air from my nose harshly, my heart aching terribly in my chest.

All I knew was, Harry was this sea of ache I jumped in, and I was drowning.

-

Hi babes! I hope you liked this one (: my heart hurts for her): how's everyone? I'm going to be on a short holiday this week so I'll try my best to update a lil more (-: feedback on this chappy would be rad x

Love yu x

All the love x

Twitter: paleharold_
Vine: haroldme
Tumblr: haroldmex