Roommates [h.s]

Five

E d w a r d s

A shaky breath left my lips as I sat for ten minutes alone in the cold car. Eventually the windows were covered in bits of ice because it had began to snow, and my hands were numb to the point I couldn't feel the tips of my fingers and I'm pretty damn sure my tears have frozen on my cheeks.

I wipe furiously at them and leave the car, slamming the door afterwards out of frustration. After taking two steps I slipped and fell on my ass, the wind being knocked out of my lungs. My clumsiness has gotten the best of me once again and now my ass is frozen and possibly fractured.

Tonight couldn't get any greater really.

"Dumbass," I mutter to myself. I stand up and walk slowly on the icy concrete to the inside of my building. I dread the circumstances that greet me when I make it inside our flat.

Far too soon for my own liking I'm already outside of my door and open it, thankfully it wasn't locked, and walk inside the cold apartment, my teeth immediately chattering from the low temperature. I curse under my breath and quickly walk to the heater, turning it on and rubbing my hands together for warmth.

"I honestly-I can't comprehend what you said, Vi," I jump and hold my breath, looking to the back of me to see Harry standing in front of the window, his orbs eyeing me with hurt.

"Harry-"

"Are you hurt? I saw you fall," he sighs and walks over to me. I only nod while mirroring his sigh, a little less rougher I presume. His hands reach out for me and pull me into his body.

He rests his face in the crook of my neck as my face touches the surprisingly warm skin of his own neck. His hands rub up and down my back as my hands clutch the back of his shirt.

"Violet, you know I can't stand not going a day without you," his murmur was quiet and raspy. His movements were stiff against me and I only inhaled his musky smell. I loved the way how strong it was yet it wasn't. It was a calming smell.

"Harry, you don't understand," I whisper. You won't understand because I love you and it's going to hurt us both in the end.

He kept rubbing up and down my back, and I tried to choke back the tears. I sniffled.

"Love, what's going on? We were fine just a while ago," he tells me in a hushed tone; pulling back to only pull me closer to his body, our limbs tangled, our gazes barely connected. I kept averting my eyes elsewhere because his green ones were remotely intense. His finger tilts my chin so I'd look at him and I sigh while my eyes stubbornly meet his.

"Harry, I've been thinking lately, and I feel like I'm holding you back from-from talking to other people, from befriending other people, I feel selfish," I let out truthfully while stepping out of his grip. He slumps over and frowns deeply.

"No you're not, I choose not to hang around anyone because no one is worth hanging around, I've known you my entire life, Violet."

"So?" I tell him while raising my hands. "That doesn't mean you don't have to make friends, Harry." His jaw clenches and he lets out air from his nostrils.

"You don't want to hang out with me as much anymore? That's going to be pretty fucking hard if we live together," I feel the tears prickle at the corner of my eyes.

"You don't want to live with me anymore?" I croak, wiping under my eyes, closing them briefly. I hear Harry sigh; my eyes reopening them to see his body stiff as a wall, hands playing with each other's, biting his lip and his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration.

"No Violet, it's not that, don't make this seem like it's my fault now,"

I scoff and smile sarcastically. "It never was," I mutter and turn around to look at the wall. I feel Harry's hand wrap around my arm, turning me around to meet with his green orbs, red rimmed. My heart shattered at the sight in front of me. I only let out a shaky breath.

"What did I do, Vi? Please tell me, so I can fix it, goddammit." I only shake my head as I smile, my tears coming down, Harry wiping them before they fall to the floor. His touched burned and I was becoming hell.

"You didn't do anything, Harry. I'm just overreacting," I kept averting my eyes as I lied straight through my teeth. It hurt. It did, because he seems to do everything right. He knows me too well. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows what I'll say next before I comprehend what's coming out of my mouth. He knows exactly how I'm feeling most of the time....

... except my love for him that brutally drains me inside.

"Lying isn't going to fix this, love. C'mon you can tell me anything," my chest filled with millions of flutters; shaking my head as I wrapped my arms around him and held tightly, my face buried in his chest. He smelt like home, and I was insanely homesick I felt lost.

"I'm alright, Styles."

The night was pretty tiring if I could say. I was just glad that tomorrow I didn't have classes nor did Harry. I kind of dreaded the day off only because everything is different with your best friend if you love them. Everything really is.

I faintly remember our years in high school, we never cared about anything besides getting home and having a marathon of Disney movies or of Friends. We were obsessed. As a little girl growing up with this boy that was British and seemed oddly and insanely different than me, turned out to be the male version of myself. I was amused, growing up to find out we shared almost all interests, it made me feel somewhat secure and safe.

Harry was always there to defend me, make sure I was okay before I fell asleep, and was always ready to fight whoever hurt me.

Of course I'd tell him not to because violence never helped anything. And he'd listen even though he was raging more than I was. In the end, I'd laugh till I couldn't breathe because Harry would take it out of precautions.

He was a safe haven for me.

But at the same time, it hurts to the point I feel numb. Pain is bearable, but agony is trying to figure out how to get rid of the pain.

I don't think I'd get rid of this pain because it will always simply be here if I loved him. And I don't think I'll ever stop loving him.

Not in a heartbeat.

-
Hi lovelies! I'm sorry this is so late): school is draining me terribly and I have no energy @ the end of the day to write or simply breathe lmfao but I hope you liked this one (: I start midterms next week so bare with the late updates beautifuls x

All the love x

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