Memory//L.S. (Boyxboy)

0.3

I look around desperately. Expecting someone to be watching me, or ready to help me and hold me. But no ones around. I'm alone with my carnivorous thoughts eating at my sanity.

I take deep breathes and lay down, letting my guard down as the rest of the memory invaded my mind.

I lay on top of Louis breathless, my mind still blank, and the pain subsided for the time being while I found myself being so preoccupied with... Him. And the feeling of being drunk without having to actually drunken a thing. "Thanks." I whisper as I play with his soft waves lazily.

He chuckles softly, his laughs vibrating my stilled figure. "For what? Being the stranger to take your virginity?" He asks as he traces small shaped on my sweaty back.

"That and helping me forget for a while." I whisper, and Louis falls dead silent.

"Forget what?" He asks after a moment.

I sigh. "Everything. My family. My friends. My life. It's all a mess. Ya know how it is. Little money and all that shit? No one is happy that I turned out gay either. It's all a mess basically. I can't even begin to list all the things wrong."

"It's okay. Non of it will matter soon." Louis mumbles. I lift my head up and look at him curiously. "My 18th
Birthday is tomorrow. So, I'll forget everything. Even you, love."

"Please, no." I say shaking my head and letting out a sudden choked sob. I can already feel a mixture of emotions flood back that I had for this boy. This stupid stranger!

"Why do you have to forget me?" I ask desperately, trying to make eye contact with the pretty boy. "I can be your memory."

"As tempting as that is... I have only one thing I need to remember and besides, I just met you, love. And you're just a kid. You have so much more that can come up that you may want to remember instead. Listen. I'm not saying you aren't important, but this thing is... unexplainably important to always remember." He looks up with watery blue eyes and stares at the stars and sadly smiles.

For a moment, I get lost in his glossy eyes. The valleys of loneliness and the angry seas of despair; at the moment I could finally tell he somehow understood the emotions I was feeling as well.

"What are you going to remember?" I ask slowly, all the pain from the night beginning to flood back into my fragile mind, threatening to break me nerve by nerve.

"The day before my family past. The last happy memory I have of them." He says and looks back at me. "Do you see why that's so important. But... here's the thing. I really like you-"

"You just met me." I tease.

He laughs. Really laughs. And God, his laugh is so perfect. It sends light flowing through the darkness, ripping apart the tight knit folds of tragedy. "So, if you could keep us as your one memory when you turn 18... well, then you could come and find me. I won't remember you, but you could start over again with me. You could help me remember again, yeah?" He asks excitedly, gripping my hand as if he's afraid I'll reject him.

How could I reject a man who holds so much hope in his eyes that he may crumble at the word no?

I frown. Did I really listen to that man and choose to remember him? He must be perfectly fine without me now. Why was I so stupid?

I could have remember my family and friends, but I chose him. A stupid stranger who I decided to hook up with because I was sad and lonely.

"Yeah, I don't want to forget you." I whisper and kiss his soft lips as I slowly push myself off of him and grab my dirt covered clothes. "So... this is goodbye?"

"Lets say, goodbye for now, yeah?" He says as he sits up, resting his chin in his hands. "Because I know I'll be seeing you again in a few years." He says with a wink.

I laugh and pull my pants on, shaking my head slowly. "Wow. You're something." I mutter under my breathe as I smile back at him.

"Hey, look." he whisper and pulls me by the waist into him. His tall figure leans over me lightly as he whispers. "Look at the town down there. That's the new town. That's where I'm going tomorrow. I heard that it always feels like summer there. Well, unless you like the cold, then you'd live on the other, colder side of new town. It's funny though. It looks so tiny from here, but I heard it's huge."

I stare at it in awe. I'd never seen it in this way until now, standing with this guys I met only hours ago."Yeah..." I reply, watching as dots of sun flicker in the dusk.

"Their like little stars in a big world of nothing. They're pretty, but they'll die out and be forgotten at some point. It'll be like it never existed some day." He whispers, and I pretend not to hear it. He's bringing me back to my depressed state, and I really don't think I can handle going back to such a dark place.

After that, I remember I started seeing things differently. Everything had changed because of that one night with him. But I hadn't seen him since that night.

He had just vanished into thin air as if he was a tiny star that stopped shinning.

Just. Like. That.

+

Easily one of my favorite chapters so far just bc of the past part (^-^)

Fun fact: for the past week I have gotten than 6 hours of sleep every night... idk how I'm still standing tbh

QOTD: When you put socks on, do you put the left sock on first? Or the right?

I put my sock on my left foot first always!