Heard it through the grapevine

Chapter 12

Bahrain was hot. And humid.

Upon arriving at the hotel, Helena was sure that she was going to melt. Her room felt like it was a thousand degrees and she immediately went to turn up the A/C in the hotel room. 

Her room had a view over the water which stood in such stark contrast to the mostly desert covered country. Sakhir felt like a green oasis in comparison, she thought. It felt weird to be back in the middle east after three months. The last time she had been in this part of the world, her life had looked completely different, yet she also felt like not much had changed since then. She couldn't help but think how grateful she was that her work allowed her to travel to these incredible places. Although most of the time was spent on circuits and in hotels, she still got to experience bits of places that she most probably would have otherwise not gotten to visit. 

She'd texted back Michael once she was in the taxi. 

She didn't want him to get suspicious, and she had come to the conclusion that suddenly not replying to him would probably not help with that. She'd let him know that she had landed safely and would call him when she had time. Before leaving Monaco, she had been sure to let him know that she would be busy over the weekends, but that she would try her best to call him when she had time. It was partly the truth, but she also felt horrible and desperately needed a bit of distance from the guilt that she felt every time she looked at him or heard his voice.

Charles on the other hand, she was yet to text. It had been two hours since she had received his text, and she had tried to draft a reply, but she wasn't sure how she should approach the situation. If Charlotte was with him in Bahrain, it would be running a serious risk to meet in secret to discuss what happened in Monaco.

She also didn't know where she stood. Obviously, it had been a mistake. Obviously, it should not have happened. But she also knew that it was impossible to go back in time and change things. But how should they approach it? Would he want to tell Charlotte about it? Had he already told Charlotte about it? She imagined not, otherwise she would have probably heard about it by now. If not from Charlotte directly, then Sandrine.

There was also the inevitable question of what was going to happen with Charles and Charlotte's relationship? Did this mean that Charles was going to break it off with Charlotte? The mere thought made her anxious. Because what would that mean for the two of them? Did she even want to date him? Or was she just desperately sexually attracted to him? She was starting to doubt that it was only a sexual attraction. She found herself thinking about him regularly, and not just about how she would find it difficult to object to sleeping with him again. But she knew it was a slippery slope, and she was trying her best to push it to the back of her head. 

And there was also the factor of Ferrari. What difference would it all make when they still did not allow any romantic relations between co-workers? Particularly, she assumed, between drivers and someone in an entry-level role.

Helena wasn't sure what to think of the situation, but she knew that things had undeniably shifted between her and Charles. She was no longer able to deny to herself that she was attracted to him, that much had obviously been clear for a while. But admitting it to herself seemed to be what made the difference. Admitting it seemed to make it a real tangible problem that she would have to deal with. Denying it meant that she could pretend it wasn't there. But denying it had truly only helped her end up in Charles' bed and if she were to come out of this with her relationship intact, she needed to find a way to destroy those feelings. She wondered if she would be able to even do that.

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"Can you come with me?" Helena turned around at the sound of Charles' hushed voice as his hand gently tugs on her arm, pulling her away to god knows where.