Heard it through the grapevine

Chapter 14

When Helena landed in Melbourne, she felt a wave of relief she hadn't felt in a while. The crisp autumn air had greeted her as soon as she left the airport, and it had felt like a welcome change from the middle eastern heat. But finding herself the furthest away from Monaco she had ever been, alone, made her miss it slightly. To think that the weather back home was starting to get warmer and that the trees and flowers would soon start to bloom again was so different to the slightly autumnal feel in Melbourne. However, it was her first time in Australia, and she was looking forward to discovering this bustling city. 

Once the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix had ended, staff had been free to book their flights as they pleased. There had been almost two weeks until the next GP, and instead of going home, Helena would be meeting Michael in Melbourne. It had been a last minute, hasty decision, but Helena had talked to Sylvia about Michael visiting, and they had agreed that Melbourne would be the best option. Her media duties would be the least hectic then, an there would be more than enough staff present for her to spend some time with Michael throughout the weekend. 

Helena had spent the last few nights tossing and turning, fearing Michael's presence and what it would bring. A part of her thought that perhaps it would bring some clarity. That it could make her realise that what she was doing with Charles was irresponsible. However, she feared a worse outcome. While she was fearing her visit from Michael, she was also glad that she had decided against returning home to Monaco. Her mom had thought otherwise, and the disappointment had been evident in her voice when Helena had called to tell her that she would not be returning home to visit just yet. She had not been able to tell her mom why, but the truth was that she was too exhausted to spend so much time flying back and forth. She hadn't wanted to worry her mom, but she also hadn't known how to tell her that her lack of sleep was due to her spending the last week tossing and turning at night over the potential outcomes of her situation with Charles and Michael. In the end, she had told her that she was exhausted from work and wanted to get ahead on the jetlag upon travelling onwards to Australia.

Another reason she was happy that she had not returned, was that Charles had gone home to Monaco. He'd texted her upon leaving Saudi Arabia that he would be going back to Monaco with Charlotte for a week, but that they should find time to talk once he was back. Helena hadn't known what to reply, should she tell him that Michael would be at the next GP? She had opted against it, not knowing how to relay the information. Although Helena knew that they couldn't keep avoiding their situation, she had felt relieved that he would be on the other side of the planet, at least for another week.

She hadn't been alone with Charles since that night in her hotel room, but for once that didn't mean that they'd been avoiding each other since then. Whenever she had spotted Charles in the paddock, he had sent her a discreet smile or a small nod of acknowledgement as if to ensure her that everything was okay between them. The lack of hostility between them was also making the situation more difficult for Helena. She wanted to be close to him again, but she wasn't sure when that would be happening again, and if  it would be happening again.

To a degree, Helena knew that they were fooling themselves by pretending that everything was ok between then, because that was truthfully far from the case. They were yet to figure out what to do about any of it. Helena had been struggling not to text Charles, but she was also conflicted about the footprint it would leave if texts were exchanged between them. What if Charlotte were to see them? Or anyone else for that matter? The whole situation was making Helena paranoid, and it was starting to feel isolating. She was starting to feel like an outsider, like an imposter. It had definitely not been the start to her career in F1 that she had dreamt about for so many years. Her excitement was being clouded by the general state of mild panic that she was starting to find herself in most of the time.