Michael
"No... please don't hurt me. I'm sorry"
"Michael, if you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it."
One hit.
Two hits.
Three hits.
And now I'm sitting in the corner crying, holding my head in my hands, trying not to feel the never ending pain.
"Stand up and take it like a man. I didn't raise a wimp." He walks over to me once again.
"P-please... don't hurt me again. I've had e-enough."
The tears stream faster and faster.
There's nothing I can do now. I'll die with this pain. I've already seen hell, and this is what it looks like.
"I said take it like a man. Get your lazy fat ass off the ground now and stop your crying. Why are you always so weak?!"
Another hit. Another bruise to hide.
--------------------------------
I sit up, screaming. I'm crying and sweating. Looking around the room a few times, I realize where I am.
"Mike?" Luke runs into my room, with a worried expression on his face. He walks over to me as I rock myself back and forth on my bed, holding my knees to my chest.
"Mike, what's wrong?" He asks, holding me, trying to calm me down.
"I couldn't take it.. I couldn't take it." I say to myself, just above a whisper.
"Michael, what do you mean? You couldn't take what?" He now looks at me the same way everyone else does. He stares at me like I can't take care of myself. His eyes full of pity.
"He was there... hurting me. I couldn't take it. I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't fight back. I'm weak.." I collapse into Luke's arms and can't control the tears that are streaming down my face anymore.
"Michael.. look at me."
I look up at the blonde boy holding onto me. I see his gorgeous eyes and his flawless skin and hair, and.. everything.
"Mike, you'll be okay. I promise. It was just a dream. Nobody will hurt you. I promise you that." He gives me a reassuring smile and I stop crying, sitting up.
"Will you?"
He looks down at his hands in his lap, and plays with his fingers a bit.
"Luke?"
"No. I won't hurt you. I swear. If I ever hurt you, I would have to kill myself to make up for it."
But why do I feel like he's lying to me? I just feel like he wouldn't have a problem hurting me, just like everyone else.
I pull myself together and sit back up on my bed, wiping away the last tears on my face.
Luke hugs me one last time before leaving my room, and I watch him as he goes.
I slowly fall back asleep, hoping for only good dreams to come.
---------------------------------------------------
"Mike, I have to tell you something."
"What is it?"
"I... I love you."
"Why? There's nothing to love. I'm nothing. I'm just worthless and weak. I don't mean anything."
"Don't you dare say that Michael... You're perfect. You're the best thing that's happened to me."
"No.. I'm not."
"Stop. Just.. stop. I can't deal with you saying bad shit about yourself. It hurts me but you don't realize that."
"Luke.. I can't just stop thinking something. All I can do is push it away until I can't feel it."
"Then do it! Just stop! I can't handle you talking shit about yourself!"
I don't even know where this is coming from. He just randomly gets mad about me not liking myself? Is something wrong with him?
"If you don't want to hear me talk shit about myself, maybe I should just leave..."
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I sit up in my bed, my face stained with tears. I get up and grab my phone off of the floor.
I look at my phone to check the time. 3:08 A.M.
I tip toe over to Luke's room to see that he's asleep, and hear the boy snoring.
Running down the stairs on my toes, I feel my tears start up again.
Maybe I'm not even worthy of living anymore.
As I reach the forest, I reach into my pocket to feel the sharp blade that I put there earlier this week.
My dad hates me
Luke doesn't have the same feelings for me as I do for him
People make fun of me
My mom doesn't care about me
I'm ugly and fat
I'm worthless
I'm weak.
I bring the shiny metal blade to my already scarred wrist and slice the skin. I watch as the blood comes out, making me feel in control again.
But it's not enough. I can't help the feeling of being worthless. It's too much to handle.
I bring the small red-stained blade back to my wrist, cutting directly on my vein, as deep as I can. I start to feel dizzy and start to see black spots everywhere I look.
I hear someone talking, but it isn't very clear.
"Sir.. Sir? Are you okay? Can you hear me?"
The voice fades away, along with the world around me. Everything goes black. I can't see or hear, it's just.. nothing.
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TO BE CONTINUED . . .
I honestly don't know where this went. I was gonna make it happy but then my mind just started wandering.
Anyway, I'm back and I've been working on this one for a while hoping that it would be good but I don't know about this one.
The next part to this will be up (hopefully) soon. I do have a lot of stuff going on, but I'll try my hardest to get it done and publish it.
<3
~Row
