All The Tears I Cried

~Prologue~

"Fuck you... Your no husband of mine... I'm taking our son, and we both are leaving," my mother screamed as she threw her suitcase on the bed and started packing clothes for her and my brother.

"Well, go ahead, you drunk bastard. I'm keeping our daughter. You deserved to be cheated on. How dare you hit our daughter? You son of a bitch!" My father yelled back at my mother. I was only three, and I remember this so vividly. How could I forget the day my family split apart?

All the tears I cried...

My mother walked out the door, dragging my brother, who was trying to stay, but was no match for my mother's wrath. I saw him leaving in tears. The last thing I heard as he left was, "I want to stay, please!"

All the tears I cried...

In two days, my father brought home another woman and said, "This is your new mother! I hope you two get along." I never understood what happened in our house. My new mother was kind and sweet, and my father would never yell but only hug and kiss her. He never did that with my real mother.

All the tears I cried...

When My parents went to court at the age of 4 and sat with my 8-year-old brother. While the judge asked us who we wanted to stay with, My mother gave me one single glare and looked at my brother sweetly. It was already decided that day that I was going to live with my father and that my brother would live with my mother. I cried when I heard, "Sahas may only meet his father every summer for one week." My brother couldn't even see me on my birthday.

All the tears I cried...

When I was 10 years old, my mother almost beat me to death with a bear bottle, and my brother was the only one who saved me... "You mistake; you weren't supposed to be born. You little piece of shit." My mother said this as she went to her room. My brother tends to my wounds, saying she doesn't mean it, but deep down I know she does. She never loved me! I should be happy...She tried to kill me, but she was my mother how could I? When I thought things couldn't get worse my mother died. I love her even if she never loved me...She died cause she hung herself...I walked in because I was supposed to check on her...Her eyes were closed and blood streamed from the corner of her mouth...She was gone...Just like my brother.

All the tears I cried...

At the age of 12, when I finally opened up to life and made friends, I started feeling better. My brother died. The day I was having a cast dinner for a musical... I was supposed to be there to go shopping with him, but I said no because I wanted to be with my friend Adelyn. If I were there, I could've been there. It could've been me instead. The doctor looked at me pitifully, saying my brother was dead and I couldn't see him. He was gone forever.  

All the tears I cried...When my brother died

All the tears I cried...When my mother died

All the tears I cried...When I died on the inside