Behind the walls I built

where it all began

Destiny's pov-
My childhood was like everyone else's.  On the outside. I grew up on the edge of town in a tiny off-white house.  The grass was always tall and tickled my legs when I'd wait for the bus. I didn't like how it felt, but it never got cut unless our neighbors felt bad and cut it for us.  My dad and mom never did much.  My dad was a drinker.  He favored fireball more than anything else.  He'd come home reeking of cinnamon and cigarettes, anger burning in his eyes like the drink he'd down by the bottle. He was always mean. My mom had addictions of her own. She was a lonely woman, and the pills were her issue. She'd eat them like candy and then zone out for hours.  She used to work but stopped trying when my father started taking her money for liquor. Now she just sits, her expression blank and numb. Sometimes, I'd sit in front of her as she's fade in and out of reality and tried to see if I could spot her in there.  Somewhere  behind her dull green eyes was my mother . She was caring and always loved me.  But then something just flipped, and she was gone. My teachers or classmates never saw this side of my life. It was a very well-kept secret. They'd laugh at my clothes and my smell.   When I outgrew clothes, the school would offer new ones.  Which only made the kids laugh harder. I only ever had one friend. For the first few weeks of first grade. Her name was gracyn. She seemed to like me even though I always looked and smelled funny. But after a few weeks, the other kids got to her, and she just  stopped talking to me. From then on, I decided I didn't want any friends.   They always turned mean. So I kept to myself. My teachers would try and put my in groups with other people hoping to bring me out of my shell. But kids would just make it torture for me. Eventually, the school got worried and called my father. Which would lead to my first lesson and reason to stay quiet.  I got home that day, and the house was trashed. My mother rocked herself in the corner, tears pooling down her face.  I knew my dad was drunk.  Glass was shattered across the floor. Blood drops scattered along with it.  My heart started racing. I could hear it in my ears. The moment he called my name, I had one thought...  run. But he was too fast.  I felt myself  being thrown and hitting the wall.  The air left my body, and I froze. His eyes burned with hate, and he towered over me. I trembled and started crying. He cursed and screamed at me.  Telling me I was ungrateful.  I was running to the school, claiming my family mistreated me.   That the school said I might have some depression or issues in my head.  His words faded out as my  chest tightened. My  breathing stopped, and everything went black.
I woke up in my room, tossed onto the floor. I tried to sit up, but my body hurt so badly. When I finally worked my tiny body to the  bathroom, what I saw scared me. Bruises spread down my body across my legs and arms.  My ribs were a dark shade of purple. Breathing to deeply hurt. I sat on the cold tile of the bathroom and just cried.  My father's drunken snores echoed through the house. My mother was silent as she always was.   I hated it here. Sitting on the floor, I let my mind wonder. I began to imagine how life would be if my parents were nice. I imagined waking up to cooking breakfast, my mother smiling at me like she used to. My father leaving for work  looking healthy, smelling of old spice instead of cinnamon. For once, I felt at ease. That's when I realized I could have my happy life in my head. It was an escape. But it wouldn't be long before that escape became my addiction.

(So small chapter for the first story in a while, but I wanna see how it goes with reads and feedback before I move further. For some, this story may be triggering, so I'll start placing trigger warnings. This story has a lot of details that, unfortunately, I've pulled from my own life. If you ever experience violence at home, please reach out.  It may seem impossible, but I was once thinking the same, and now I'm safe and free. I'm also here if anyone needs to talk ever regardless of the time of day. I hope you all enjoy it, and I promise it'll get better as I get back into my writing groove)