My Little Shadow

Chapter Twenty-Three: Thats you August

I knew she regretted it. I knew by the way she had been avoiding me for two days. I knew by the way that she hung out with Archer whenever she could instead of following me around. I knew because I knew May.

I didn't regret it, and I didn't want her to, but how exactly was I supposed to go about telling her this without embarrassing her? If I embarrassed her, it would just make things way worse than her avoiding me. She could verbally tell me she regretted it and that she would never do it again. That was the last thing because if I actually heard with my actual ears that she regretted it, it would hurt me.

I had landed myself right where I didn't want to be all of those months ago. I have put myself in a position to get hurt yet again. I take a deep breath as I flip a pancake with an eye roll. I'm so pathetic. She probably wasn't even thinking about it anymore.

"Hey, that's my job," Archer yells from the doorway with his hair roughed up from sleep. He wore a sleepy smile, and I just wanted to wipe it off of his face. I wasn't in a good mood today, and it didn't help that my shadow had become Archers in an attempt to avoid me. This was no fault of his, but still, his face annoyed me this morning. At this thought, I chuckled at myself. Absolutely pathetic.

"It's eleven. You were running late," I say and all but toss a place with three pancakes covered in syrup his way.

"Oh, someone's in a bad mood." He grumbled under his breath before taking a bite of his breakfast. A few moments later, May wakes up and joins us in the kitchen. Her hair is everywhere from static as if she had stayed up tossing and turning all night.

I passed her pancakes more gently, and Archer squinted his eyes at me in playful aggravation. "Thanks." She says softly before rubbing her eyes. We share a brief moment of just staring at each other. Her blue eyes meet my brown ones with something I can't decipher hidden behind them. It doesn't take longer than a few seconds for her to turn away, blush dancing its way across her pale skin.

"What's on the agenda for today?" Archer asked, his mouth still full of food.

"Work," I grumbled. There really wasn't anything that the farm needed at this moment, but I was dying to get out of the stuffy house and to let May do whatever she wanted to do without having to avoid me.

"Oh, come on, Bubba, you have to take a break sometime. There is a car show later this afternoon, people are coming from all over to try and win that grand prize the city came up with." I vaguely remember seeing a poster a few weeks ago talking about a car show.

"I don't care for cars." I grumble under my breath.

Archer looks to May for help, and she takes a deep breath before saying, "I think it will be fun, you'll come?"

"I got work. You two have fun." It was obvious that she was only asking because she felt obligated to, she was still thinking what happened over in the head and until she came up with an answer she wasn't going to want to be around me.

She was confused.

She was trying to heal, but she didn't want to open herself up like that to be hurt again.

I understood it.

It doesn't mean I hate it any less.

"I'll help you, then you will have enough time to come tonight." Archer stands up with his plate, taking it to the sink. He was determined, and my crazy light-hearted brother was hell on wheels when he got it in his head that something was going to happen.

"Archer." I raised my eyebrows and leveled my gaze with his, so he would understand to drop it.

He scowled at me, "You're going to the car show, you damn workaholic."

Then he walks off and out of the house with a slam of the door.

"Who pissed in his corn flakes?" I grumbled while I flipped the last pancake over.

"You did." May says softly, so softly that I barely heard her.

"What?" I say, glancing over my shoulder to where she was hiding behind her hair.

"Nothing." I take the pancake up, not caring if it's done or not, turn the eye off and spin around where I can talk to her better.

"I'm not going to be mad. What do you have to say?" She peaked through her hair like a scared kitten, I didn't like her being scared. Especially not scared of me.

"He's upset because you've turned down going to do something with him for three days now." She shrugs her shoulders and toys with her pancakes.

"I've just been trying to give you space." I admit, hoping that all of this can be settled now instead of later, because in all honesty, it was killing me. When she avoided me, it hurt me somewhere deep inside that just wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go.

"I don't need space." She says just as softly, the words sounding like silk.

"You've been avoiding me, ever since..." I trail off, not wanting to put the words out there. If they weren't out there, they couldn't make her feel any more uncomfortable than she already was.

"I've been embarrassed, I didn't want you to feel like you had to put up with me following you around after I did what I did." She admits looking out from her seclusion created by her raven hair.

How stupid could I have been? When she needed me to fight through her inner defenses, I pulled away. When she needed me to be me, I changed and became someone I thought she needed.

"What you did was trying to heal yourself, May." I reach over the countertop and grab her hand in mine, our fingers rubbing against each other. "It's no different than what I've been doing. I've been using you to heal myself, I've been using you to give me purpose when I have none. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to do the same."

"There is one big difference." She eyes me carefully before explaining herself. "What I need isn't purpose. What I need is to make my body mine again, and I would never want to use you in a way you weren't comfortable with."

I scoff. "Is this what this is about?" I chuckle slightly. "You think you took advantage of something I wasn't willing to give?"

Her eyes grow wide but I don't stop there, she's been beating herself up this whole time for absolutely no fucking reason. "Because let me tell you something, shadow. I've been dying to get my hands on you ever since the first time i saw you."

Her lips part, and she can't school her reaction. Her chest is heaving, and she looks wild. She looks shocked.

"That's not to say that I think I'm the best man for you to do this with. You need someone who has restraint, someone that can resist touching that perfect fucking skin of yours." I let go of her hand and say one final thing before I spin around to wash dishes. "And that's one thing that I don't have much of "

"I need someone I want. That's you August." It was breathy and by the time I turned around she was walking towards her room, her whole body glowing a shade of red.

Fuck me.

I let out a throaty groan, my eyes rolling in the back of my head.

~.~.~.~.~
Sorry for the late update, I started college and I've been trying to get on a schedule.