My Little Shadow

Chapter Eight: Messy, Unorganized, Coffee Addicted

Everything has been really quiet today. I have an appointment with Dr. Wilson later and I'm looking forward to it just so the ringing in my ears quit. May has kept her distance for the past couple of days.

Ever since she sought me out when she was having a nightmare, she has pulled away some. I think her self-preservation finally kicked in but it's too late because I have already decided that she was mine and nothing is going to change that.

I have one month left in here as long as Dr. Wilson clears me. I fully intend to get out of here and care for my brothers and mother. May was now included in that, Dr. Wilson said our release date was the same, so if everything goes as planned, she'll be coming home with me.

I wouldn't say my intentions are entirely pure. I was using her just as much as she was using me. She was going to be my anchor on the outside of Mary Hill.

When I get out, I will be too busy making sure she and Archer have a restful night that I won't be able to think about anything else. I was turning a new leaf and maybe this one wouldn't get soaked in blood.

There wasn't much to do in here other than stare at a wall and ponder on things that could potentially happen in the future. I thought about the day she would meet Archer, I thought about how he would talk enough for the both of them. I thought about the day when I would pack up Angelina's things. I thought about the day when I would teach May how to defend herself so she could feel more secure in her own skin. I thought about her voice, would it be soft and wispy? Deep and raspy?

Would she talk with all of the air in her lungs or just use a whisper of it?

Boredom ate away at my mind for a good portion of the rest of the day, so it felt like forever before I was sitting in Dr. Wilson's messy office.

"Here, I finished it."

I lay the book down on his desk and he looks up at it before waving it back towards me with his wrinkling fingers.

"Keep it." I looked between him and the book before picking it up and placing it on my lap as I wait for him to start his round of questions. The unorganized office doesn't bug my nerves as badly as it normally does, I guess because I've stared at a blank wall long enough to appreciate the variety of colors that invade my eyes.

He looks up from his notepad finally and settles on staring at me intently, I don't look away or flinch, the pride my father instilled in me becoming more present. "You're different. Something changed, I'm not sure exactly what that something was but it altered you."

I underestimated this man when I first got here. I didn't have one of those easy-to-read faces. My emotions hid anywhere but on my face. I beat all of my brothers at poker because of how well I hide everything from anyone that gets too close.

Yet, somehow this messy, unorganized, coffee-addicted man is seen right through all of that.

"I had a change of direction." His eyes squint, for a moment I worry that he won't believe me and that I'll be stuck in here trying to convince a man that I don't want to kill anyone when I get out of here.

All of those fears are replaced with relief when he begins writing on his paper. "Your release date is set for exactly twenty-seven days away. Don't make me regret this. Don't burn your world to the ground, August."

I smile slightly. "I'm not going to."

I stand up when the buzzer on his desk goes off indicating that it's time for his next patient. "May seems to be doing better as well, I can only assume something happened to the both of you."

I don't respond, but I can't stop the grin that stuck to my face as I make it back to my room where I can think some more.

However, when I get there, I hear a man's voice coming from May's room. Instantly my heart rate spikes, and I walk toward the sound peeking through the crack.

"So, you don't talk much do you?" Standing in front of her canvas-covered wall was the nurse that looked at her with lust in his eyes a couple of weeks ago.

May sat on the edge of her bed, her fingers twisted in the tie-died blanket. She was as ridged as a tree giving away just how uncomfortable she was with him in her space.

Not being able to stomach this any longer I make myself present and open the door with a bang.

"Get out," I say calmly. Too calmly. That should have been this boy's first sign to walk the fuck away, but he only scoffed at me.

"I don't know what little delusional world you live in, but the last time I checked you're not the one that runs the shots here." He walks closer to me trying to make himself bigger considering I towered over him by at least five inches. I didn't falter I just looked him dead in his eyes.

I played out how I could hurt him, and make him uncomfortable, I guess he saw it in my eyes because he grew puzzled before falling back and walking around me, out of May's door.

I glance at her, she won't even meet my gaze, she was shaking like a leaf, and I see chill bumps all along her arms.

I go to her and sit down, her bed dipping in from my weight. "He shouldn't bother you again," I reassure her, but she just looks around the room, she gnaws on her bottom lip. Something was on her mind, and she didn't know how to release it, it was weighing her down to the point that she was growing more and more anxious.

I stand up and find a piece of paper and pencil, and hand it to her, she just looks at it a moment before grabbing it from my hands and starts writing on it slowly. I can't help but stare at her, her extremely long curly black hair creates a barrier around her as she writes whatever is on her mind. Her pale fingers hold the pencil with such ease that I can only imagine how good of an artist she is.

She has to have delicate fingers to fold the papers that she leaves on my bed considering they are always so full of delicate details.

She nervously hands me the paper. 'I get out soon...'

"I know," I confess. Was this what was plaguing her for the past few days? Is this why she hasn't been sneaking into my room or following me around like she normally does?

She grabs the paperback and begins scribbling on it again. I wait patiently, I couldn't wait for the day that she was comfortable enough around me to speak.

'I just don't want to depend on you, when you'll be gone.'

"I get out the same day as you. I was going to wait a couple more days before I asked what you thought about coming with me when I get out. Dr. Wilson mentioned that you didn't have any family." She pulls away and looks up at me her blue eyes looking more innocent than I think I've ever seen her before.

When she sees that I'm being serious, her eyes grow wide, and she holds a look of shock on her features. That shock is instantly replaced with happiness and before I even realize what's going on she's throwing herself into my arms. I pause for only a moment before wrapping my arms around her. I revel in how my black tattoos contrast so roughly against her pale skin.

She fits perfectly in my arms, and I inhale deeply trying to memories the scent of her.

I chuckled at her behavior before growing quiet again as my thoughts drift off to how unlikely we are as friends.

If that's what you would call us. She was so fragile looking, meek, and scared of a lot of things. I took up twice the amount of space she did and the only things I was scared of were losing the reasons I have to keep going.

No matter how different we are it works and that's all that matters right now. I could deal with the repercussions of this later when I was a little more whole than I was.

I would face the storm when I was wearing a raincoat.