Bitter Herbs

One - The Confrontation

A/N: First, let me apologize to the person in my face claim. I'm sorry I almost keep using you as a villain Ollie, It's just hard to unsee you as Adrian from 'The Invisible Man'. 

Face Claim: 
Ethan - Oliver Jackson-Cohen

In the beginning, I held the belief that being a devoted wife, tending to household matters, and fulfilling my husband's needs would ensure our marital harmony. This was ingrained in me during my upbringing. Consequently, I dedicated myself to studying and improving, striving for the highest degree of eligibility. I diligently acquired the skills to manage our home efficiently, convinced that this was my primary contribution to our relationship.

However, reality took an unexpected turn. I stumbled upon a trove of illicit text messages and emails between my husband and his affair partner, or rather, affair partners, within his workplace. It was a disconcerting revelation, and I found myself grappling with uncertainty. I couldn't ascertain whether these affair partners were aware of their shared involvement with the same man or if they were complicit in this intricate web of infidelity.

I wept and let out muffled screams into my pillow upon discovering the truth, considering the prospect of confronting him. Concurrently, I meticulously collected the evidence I had unearthed, determined to prevent any attempts at gaslighting or manipulation. This documentation also served as my preparation for potential future divorce proceedings.

The first words he uttered when he confronted me were, "You've been snooping through my emails, Amara?!" He accused me with a mix of anger and surprise, berating me for invading his privacy. It infuriated me that he, the one caught red-handed, had the audacity to scold me about this.

I shot back, my voice filled with frustration, "Wow, Ethan! You're really concerned about that, aren't you?! Who is she?!"

"Nobody! Alright?! You're reading too much into this!" he exclaimed defensively.

"Nobody? Nobody?! Ethan, everything is right here! And you're still denying it! I'm not a fool, and don't treat me like one!" I retorted, my determination unwavering. "Just admit to it!"

"Fine! Fine!" he finally lost his patience. "It was just a one-time thing, alright! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"One-time thing? Seriously?! Then who is this?" I confronted him, displaying another chat window. "How many are there?!!! How many 'one-time things' did you have??!!!!"

I cried and sank to my knees, collapsing onto the floor, my palms tightly covering my eyes. The tears had been flowing endlessly since I found out, and the emotional turmoil was taking a toll on me both mentally and physically.

"Why did you do this? I gave you everything I could, Ethan. I listened to you and cared for you! What else do you need?" I exclaimed in frustration.

"Amara, please...forgive me," he pleaded, sitting down in front of me, attempting to hug me.

I pushed him away sharply. "Don't you dare touch me!"

He let out a frustrated sigh and retreated.

"Couldn't you have just divorced me instead of doing this?!" I demanded.

"Divorce? I don't plan on doing that, Amara. Please, I don't want to leave you."

"Then why did you do this in the first place?! Do you not see how stupid it is?!" I screamed at him. "Did you never think that I would find out?!"

"Let's get separated, and after that, we can divorce, and you can do the things you want," I said weakly, trying to calm myself down.

"Divorce?! Come on, Amara, let's work this out! I promise I'll change. I'll do everything you want! We can go for couples' counseling!"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Just leave me be, Ethan." 

He sighed frustratingly and pleaded, "Amara... please."

I got up from the floor and began going to the bedroom, packing his things and moving them to the guest room. "Ethan, from now on, you're sleeping in the guest room," I told him firmly.

"What?! Hey!!" He protested as he watched me carry his belongings.

"Why must it be me who's in the guest room?! I pay for everything!" he said, losing patience, and I raised an eyebrow at his comment.

"Sure, I could move to the guest room instead, Ethan," I told him, moving back his things and slowly taking mine one by one out of the room.

"No one is moving or sleeping in the guest room!" he screamed, his frustration boiling over.

I continued to ignore him as I moved my things to the guest room. "I'll move out as soon as I find a new place, so don't worry about it," I told him, sniffling and looking ahead, still crying, as I continued my work.

He stopped me by blocking my path, grabbing my shoulders, and shaking me. "Bloody hell, Amara! I said I wouldn't divorce you! Couldn't you hear what I said? I said let's work this out! Why are you so stubborn?"

I sighed, "Me stubborn? Work things out? For what? I may be able to forgive you, but I don't think I can get past this. I will never forget this, Ethan," I told him.

Ethan lost his patience with me. "Fine, it's because you're like this that I cheated on you!" he spat out hurtfully. "You've let yourself go, and you're not as you used to be!"

His hurtful words were a brutal blow. They pierced through me, and I felt a mix of anger and sadness welling up inside. I struggled to hold back tears as I glared at him.

"What the hell, Ethan! How could you say that?" I screamed.

"Look, no one would want you, so just stay." He spoke callously, not realizing the depth of the pain his words had caused.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer, his tall and imposing frame towering over my petite one. His piercing blue eyes bore into mine, anger evident in his gaze. "And divorce? Do you even have the means, Amara? Besides, if you divorce me, I'll ensure you get nothing," he threatened, letting go of my wrist, causing me to stumble back. "You can stay in the guest room, but divorce is not an option."

Ethan walked away, seemingly indifferent to the hurt his words had caused. The man who had once pleaded for me to stay had now transformed into someone callous and distant. He shut the bedroom door behind him, leaving me standing there, tears streaming down my face. My head ached from crying incessantly. He was right; I didn't have the means to divorce him. I had no income of my own to afford the proceedings. I had hoped he would be the one to let me go, but it appeared that wasn't the case.

That night, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to find sleep. My eyes were puffy and stinging from hours of nonstop crying. My nose was congested from all the tears. I couldn't help but repeatedly question how it had come to this point. I had put in every ounce of effort to run our household smoothly. Yet, he had still chosen to cheat on me. I wondered why I wasn't enough. Was I not intelligent enough? Not responsible enough? Had I not cared for him properly? After all, he led a comfortable life because of my dedication to managing the household and taking care of him. Perhaps I wasn't attractive enough either. Oh yes, he had made that painfully clear.

I had never considered myself ugly, or at least that's what I had believed. But his hurtful words had left me questioning everything, even my own perception. It was as if he had cast a shadow of doubt over my self-esteem. In the beginning, I had been uncertain about myself, and my husband had been the one to boost my confidence. Yet now, he appeared to be the one tearing it down.

Before I could further erode my own self-esteem, my phone illuminated with a message from family members overseas. I glanced at it, and my eyes widened in shock at the news I had received.