I'm In Love With Stacy's Boyfriend

Chapter 3 - night❤️

I did not see that coming...

     Well what do I do now? I thought for sure he was gonna say he was straight, I was going to take the hit and be able to move on. But now that he's said he's pan... it's honestly only made things worse for me. So I do have a chance then? That's not what I wanted! God I feel like such a bad friend. I wish I could just get over this stupid little crush and go on living my life happily ever after with my best friend. But it's not just a stupid little crush... is it? My feelings are real, and strong, and not going away any time soon. What do I do? What can I do? I think my only option is to suffer in silence like I have been for the past 3 months. It's the right thing to do, my feelings should not get in the way of Stacy's happiness. She got him fair and square, and they're happy together, and all I want is for her to be happy. 

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     So here I am again, third wheeling during lunch, and fighting my inner demons. Stacy and Devon are across from me, eating each other while I try (and fail) to eat my sandwich due to the vulgar display in front of me. I grimace and look away, mentally kicking myself for thinking I could actually enjoy my meal with these two around. They only pull apart when a teacher walks by and tells them to stop. I almost fall to my knees in prayer, I'm so thankful. Lunch goes on, school goes on, life goes on, and yet I feel like I'm stuck in the same place. Everyone is moving, and going, and functioning, and I just have this unshakable pit in my stomach keeping me locked down, stationary. Like an anchor on a ship.

     I want to be a good friend, I really do, but I just don't see how I can live like this. I'm sure I sound extremely dramatic, but this is how I feel. I'm heartbroken. I wish my brain had an off switch. I could just flip it off and continue living my life in peace. But that's not how real life works. I just have to toughen up, it's not the end of the world. Sure things are bad now, but I'll get over it eventually, the same way I've gotten over every other unrequited crush or minor inconvenience in my life. I don't need a man to be happy. Right?

     I'm currently curled up in my bed, covered in blankets, watching season 2 of Young Royals on Netflix and thinking to myself how complicated love is. I'm not fully paying attention to the show because I'm too lost in thought. I sigh and roll over, burying myself in the blankets and allowing the show to continue playing. I'm trying to keep myself from crying when my phone buzzes. I try to ignore it but it buzzes again and piques my interest. I thought it would just be Stacy, but it's an Instagram notification that devonnn_smith followed me and sent me a message. 

     Startled, I sit up straight and pause my show. I quickly pull up Instagram, follow him back and open the message. 

Devon: wassup

Huh? Why is he messaging me... matter of fact, why did he even follow me to begin with? Hesitantly I respond.

Mason: Nothing much... but why are you dming me?

I wait for a response. He begins to type, then stops, then he starts again, and stops. Until finally he sends his message.

Devon: ion know

What.

Mason: Okay there has to be a reason. And I have a right to know said reason thank you very much.

Devon: you text funny. weirdo

What?? No I do not! I text perfectly normally! 

Mason: No I don't! What are you talking about??

Devon: yea u do. u text like ur writing an essay. all proper n shit

Mason: No, I just text in an understandable and respectful way. If you don't appreciate that, then you are more than welcome to stop texting me.

     I huff. He begins to type, then stops. I wait, and wait, and wait. He doesn't respond. I didn't think he'd actually stop... why am I kinda sad about it? No, stop it Mason, you have to get over him. Put the phone down and don't respond even if he does message you again. 

     I sigh and set my phone on my night stand before flopping back down onto my bed. What am I doing? I groan and run my hands down my face. I just lay there for a while, contemplating my life choices, trying to figure out which decision led me here. Then my phone buzzes.

"No" I say out loud "Stop it."

I try to will myself to leave the phone alone, but my selfishness and curiosity get the better of me and I pick it up and read the notification. One message from devonnn_smith. God damn it.

Devon: nah i think its funny. different, but funny

I know I shouldn't, but I respond.

Mason: Well whatever. Now goodnight, it's 2 am and I'm starting to realize you have nothing worthwhile to say to me.

Devon: night❤️

    I smile. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but smile. Why did he add the heart?? Was that in a sarcastic way? Was he just being funny? Or did he mean it? Is there some deeper message behind that? Am I overthinking this? I don't know. Probably. There's no way I'm getting any sleep now. I'll have to get to the bottom of this in the morning...

To be continued...