I'm In Love With Stacy's Boyfriend

Chapter 2 - You Could've Just Asked

"Um... are you trying to ask me if I'm gay?" Says Devon

     Woah woah woah, stop. Let's rewind. I need to start from the beginning. Let me tell you how I got here.

     I was sitting in my room, coming up with my plan on how to ask Devon if he liked guys without asking him if he liked guys. I've gone through a few different ideas such as simply asking him if he's gay, but that would be weird and he might not tell the truth. Another idea was to get someone else to ask him and just report back to me their findings so that I don't have to be associated with it at all, but he could easily just lie since he might not feel comfortable giving out that personal information to a stranger. So this is what I landed on, step 1- get him alone and away from Stacy. Step 2- ask him questions like "Do you listen to Lady Gaga? Ariana Grande? Conan Gray?" and "What does Sweater Weather mean to you?". Step 3- Make an educated guess based on his answers. I think this is a fool proof plan. He has no reason to lie seeing as these are all seemingly normal small talk questions and I know these are stereotypical generalizations, but come on, am I wrong? 

    So anyways, I need to tackle step 1, getting him alone. How in the world do I go about that? I don't wanna come across creepy, like I can't just walk up to him and ask him to hang out, that would be weird. Maybe I ask to hang out with both of them and then just wait for an opportunity like if she goes to the bathroom or something? I don't know. I sound like a fucking predator. Maybe I do need to just be up front about it and ask him to hang out. I could just be like "Oh I wanna get to know you more since you're like dating my best friend or whatever" and that  wouldn't be weird... right?

"You wanna... hang out... alone... to get to know me better?" Devon asks with a confused expression plastered on his face

"Umm... yes?" I respond

"Uh... sure I guess... where do you wanna meet?"

"Oh um we could meet at the mall? Walk around, talk, y'know? Does this Friday after school work for you?" I internally cringe

"Yeah... yeah that works... see ya... I guess..." he begins to walk away

"Oh yeah! See ya!" I shout after him, mentally stabbing myself because what have I gotten myself into.

     Oh my good what the hell was that? Absolutely atrocious. I'm utterly dreading this. God I hope this meeting goes a lot better than that conversation, otherwise, have the suicide prevention hotline on speed dial. 

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"So uh... what kind of music do you listen to?" 

"Oh I like Pop Smoke and Kanye and Lil Nas x, stuff like that." Devon responds

"Oh nice! I listen to Lil Nas x too. I like his song Montero, have you heard it?" I'm grasping at straws

"Yeah I have." Devon responds dryly

"Okay... well... what did you think of it?"

"Not my favorite. I like his older stuff better."

"Oh so before he came out?"

"Well yeah but not like in a homophobic way, it's just like, not my style y'know?"

"Yeah no I get it."

     Awkward silence. It's Friday and Devon and I are aimlessly walking around the mall, Auntie Anne's in hand. I take a bite of my pretzel and sigh at the realization of how stupid I must be to ever have thought this was a good idea. Well, too late now, go big or go home. And I'd honestly rather just go home.

"So..." I drag out "Have you ever dated anyone else in the past?"

"Uh... yeah..."

"Like how many people? One, two, ten?"

"Um this is weird."

"You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. Just trying to 'get to know you' as I so pointedly wanted to do..." I sigh

"Mason, what is this really about?" Devon asks

Startled I stop in my tracks. Devon stops a few feet ahead and turns around to face me. he has a stern yet confused expression on his face and I can't help but think about how beautiful his eyes look in the light, how chiseled his jawline is, how the sharpness of it so effortlessly contrast with the smooth soft skin of his neck that blends down into his collarbo-

"Mason." Devon snaps me out of my daydream

I blink, tearing my roaming eyes away and giving him my full attention

"Uhhh... sorry what was the question?"

Devon sighs and steps towards me, we're only a couple feet apart now. He's so close I can almost feel the warmth of his breath as he repeats himself.

"I said, what is this really about, Mason. Why did you want to hang out with me all of a sudden?"

I gulp back my nervousness and reply "Oh uh no reason in particular, let's get back to the questions!"

I begin to walk away swiftly, trying to avoid the question and get back to the task at hand. "Do you like Lady Gaga? I love Lady Gaga! How about Conan Gray? What does the song 'Sweater Weather' mean to you? Have you ever watched RuPaul's Drag Race? Painted your nails? Worn a skirt? Kissed a guy?" I ramble, not fully paying attention to the words I'm saying.

"Mason!" I stop as I feel a firm strong hand grasp my arm. I sigh in defeat, but I refuse to look at him.

"Um... are you trying to ask me if I'm gay?" Says Devon.

I freeze. My breath hitches and my mind races. What do I say? I don't want to lie but if I tell the truth how will he react? If he figures out I like him... if he tells Stacy... my life could be over... what do I say?

"W-what?" I stutter, pointedly avoiding eye contact.

"Mason, are you trying to ask me if I'm gay?"

"Well... what would you say... if I was?" I'm freaking out right now.

"Dude." Devon chuckles "You could've just asked!"

I stare at him blankly. "What would your answer be... hypothetically of course... if I was to ask you if you're gay?"

"No. I'm not gay."

My heart shatters. On one hand I'm kinda relieved, but on the other hand, damn, it hurts to hear that.

"So I never had a chance huh..." I mumble to myself.

"What?" Devon asks.

"Oh nothing..."

"I'm not gay, I'm pan actually."

What.

To be continued...