The True love

Chapter one - I don't deserve it

Note: The story is not edited, please don't mind the grammatical errors

                       Clara's pov:

        "Jack ! Jack! Come back here!" I shouted on top of my voice at the guy in front of me,"why should I come back? I have already made myself clear that the bastard you are carrying is not mine!" he hissed back at me
      "Have you forgotten the bond we shared? Jack, we are married!! Have you gone crazy?!" I said trying to understand what was going on because I'm so confused and can't get the reason why my husband was acting up.
     "Listen carefully Clara, we are no longer married. I don't know you and you don't know me as well. It's over between us Clara!" he replied and for a minute I thought I was dreaming, can someone please wake me up was what I can whisper. Is this how marriages do end? Is this what love is like? Jack must be joking, right
       I wanted to talk but what Jack said next got me speechless and moved me to tears "the fact is that I never loved you, I only married you out of pity and because you forced me. I have seen someone I truly love and want to spend the rest of my life with".
   Jack never loved me? That can't be true! The memories shared begin to look like yesterday. Truth be told, It was not even started in court that we got married because we were rejected for being too young. I didn't want to believe it but I could not say a word, I just kept on crying as I watched Jack leaving the house with his bag and baggage.
      "Mom, please wake me up from this dream! Jack left me? No! It's not possible!!" I screamed holding on to my mother-in-law "Clara, my dear please stop crying. Everything is going to be ….." I didn't allow her to finish her statement before cutting in "Nothing is going to be okay, I can't live without Jack. There's no joy, no peace, no love without Jack. I can't think of living without him, not in this life" I ran to the kitchen and aimed for the knife.
   What's the point of still living when the only person I love in this world, the only person that has been showing me love ever since I lost my parents has also left.
       At that point I knew life would be worthless and there's no point still breathing. I wanted to take my life so badly that I forgot I was carrying my dream child. I had always wanted to have a baby of my own but not for me to be a single parent! All my dreams are shattered, I can't continue schooling, I don't have a happy marriage, I will be a single parent to my baby, I won't be able to get a good job. Everything around me was telling me to take my life but my in-laws tried to stop me
    "Clara please drop the knife. Think about the innocent child, the baby doesn't deserve to die for someone else's mistake" Dad said
    "Dad,please!! Spare me the sermon. Where were you when your son was leaving the house? You didn't say a word to persuade him to stay with me, you only stood there like a statue giving him a go ahead. You are evil! Everyone is evil!!!" I raised the knife and stabbed myself before anyone could stop me. Thank Goodness that was a scary dream. I woke up sweating.
      My name is Clara Alexander, I am 28 years old. My parents died when I was young and I lived in an orphanage before I met my husband. Then I was a young teenager who wanted to be free and explore things. Jack was really caring and loving when we first met. All I ever wanted then was to get married to him, he is the only one I could use to  fulfill my dream of living a life outside the orphanage and I loved him as well. Even though we were rejected for being too young to start a home and were advised to come back to register our marriage, we proceeded to getting married traditionally without any law attached to it.
    I don't have any friends not to talk of best friends but I do have a son, Roman who is turning 10 today! How time flies
      Raising a child alone can be really hectic, I didn't feel it because my in-laws were there for me during those times. That's true they stood by me when their son left, I appreciate them for that. I am really happy today, maybe because seeing Roman grow in age reminds me that I have been doing well in raising him to be a good boy not like his father even though he is a carbon copy.
       As usual, I always celebrate my son's birthday. It may not be in a grand way but at least everyone present will eat and drink to their satisfaction . I got up as early as possible, prayed for the celebrant who is still sleeping, got to the kitchen and it's time to start preparing for our little party.
    In no time mom joined me in the kitchen to help, I placed the order for the cake cos no birthday party is complete without the cake. Few hours of preparation and everything was set already. Everyone has started gathering at our house, Jack's family precisely because I have no relatives.
      The party started by welcoming the guy of the day, Roman, who is seen in his navy blue suit with a white shirt and a black tie. He is putting on polished black shoes. Roman is looking charming in his birthday dress.
      The moment everyone saw him they chrous "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday you, happy birthday to you Roman, happy birthday to you. We wish you many happy returns, long life and prosperity. Hurray " "happy birthday son, blow the candles and make a wish before doing that" I said moving closer to him
       "Mom, you have always been there for me when I need you. Thanks for the support but there is still one thing I'd always wish for, is about you getting married. I'm not trying to be selfish or anything, I just want the humiliation you go through everyday to come to an end. So please mum grant my wish. I don't want anything else from you, they make mockery of me in school, abusing and frustrating me. I can't take it anymore" he completed the last statement in tears.
       I moved close to him and said "Roman, you know I've always loved you and I will always do. I'll grant your wish, don't cry, my child. You'll get a father soon" " Thanks mum, you are the best and I love you" he replied with a tone of excitement. He blew out the candles, cut the cake and shared it for everyone.
     "Roman, why don't we dance to Irisc song" Jace one of Roman's childhood friend said
  "yeah, that's a good idea!! I'll prefer let's Party" Jane commented
    "No! We are going to listen to enjoyment"Jace replied disagreeing. "I'll rather listen to let's party song" Roman said increasing the volume of the music. Irisc is currently his (Roman) favorite artist, he loves her music so much and I'm sure he also wishes to see her.
   The next morning, someone was knocking at our door. I was reluctant to get up from the bed and I made way to open the door to open for whosoever is knocking so early in the morning. "Oh, Mrs Grace good morning" I said, signaling for her to enter with my eyes half closed
     "Morning Clara, how was your night? Hope you had fun last night?"  "Yeah, sure. I had a lot of fun, besides it's my son's 10th birthday" I replied her. "As expected dear. I just feel sorry that you have to celebrate such an accomplishment alone without the father." She said, giving me a pathetic look.
       Immediately I sensed what she came for and I wasn't ready for such "Mrs Grace, its doesn't matter whether I celebrate it alone or with the father. All I care about is my son's happiness and I'll do almost everything to make it happen. And I'll also like it if you can just mind your business" I tried my best not to reflect how angry I am right now.
    "No offense Clara, I only care for you and Roman. Do you know what it feels to celebrate with your parents? Ohh!! My bad, I forgot you're an orphan as well. No wonder you're comfortable with depriving your son the privilege to be loved by a father" she replied, unleashing the spirit of anger that has been brewing up already
     "Thanks a lot Mrs Grace for the reminder, but I want you to know everything is not my fault. And it's not as if I asked you to sympathize with me". "Don't be rude Clara. Or are you jinxed?!" She said
    At that moment I felt like hitting her round face with the door and dragging her blonde hair "I don't think I need to reply that. Enough of your stupid talks and I'll love it if you take you leave" I said pointing to the door
   "You little jinxed witch!" She cursed "I wish I was a witch. Instead of sending my husband away and killing my parents, I could have killed you. Or what do you think about that" I said not even knowing where the courage was coming from.
     Those things she said to me now have always moved me to tears anytime anyone reminds me, maybe because I have decided to move on in life. Get married again for Roman's sake and continue my life in loneliness.
      "You won't gain anything by killing me. It's not even possible" she said standing on her feet. I don't even know what pushed me into asking this woman to enter the house "I won't gain anything, at least it can also be added that I sent my husband away, killed my parents and killed Mrs Grace" I replied with a how about that expression
    "you'll take back what you just said" she said leaving the house in a haste
       "I overheard your conversation with Grace. I'm proud of the Lady you're becoming, you can now stand up for yourself" mum said from behind me "Gone are the days I cry when anyone blames me for the misfortune that happened to me.
     I've decided to move on mum, I've decided to get married to someone that'll be a father for Roman. I want nothing else after that" I said with full assurance.
     "What about your dreams of having a happy home? Your dream of going on a vacation with your husband?" Mum asked concerned "I gave all that up when Jack left me. So don't worry mum, all I want now is for Roman to be happy" I smiled at her "your happiness" She said and I didn't know whether it's a question or a statement but all I Know is that I don't have an answer to it yet.
    "I don't deserve it" was what I found myself saying……….

  What made her think she doesn't deserve to be happy???