~* Bad decisions make great stories *~
A Harry Styles dark romance that explores the intricacies of mental health, morality and sexual attraction. Enter a world of sin, opulence and crime.
*****
It started and ended with the wind.
She was a hurrican...
Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, P!nk, Mya, Lil' Kim and Missy Elliot.
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An unfortunate truth of life is that nothing ever stays the same; change is the only constant in this world.
It's the one thought I can make sense of in amongst the chaos of what has happened tonight. Events that feel like they have the power to fundamentally alter everything.
Looking back in retropsect on the choices I've made in the last twelve hours it is obvious to see how one bad decision fed the next. But I never expected my night to end like this.
Twelve Hours Earlier...
I've made a terrible decision.
Thankfully I still have hours to figure out how to get out of it.
Today has reminded me that my biggest failing is my inherent desire to please everyone. It's not hard to deduce where that compulsion comes from, but being able to see why I'm this way does nothing to stop me feeling and acting accordingly. It just means I'm far more cruel to myself about it later when I reflect on, and criticise, my own actions.
So when Tink started insisting we go out clubbing at Fantasia tonight, after a few weak refusals, I found myself caving to her demands. She did make some convincing points in favour of going out; the security guards know both of us and will keep a close eye on us, as well as the bar staff all working directly for Tink ensuring our drinks will be safe.
This whole situation wouldn't be so bad if not for my first poor choice of the day. Evan started blowing up my phone this morning with non-stop texts and calls. None of which I replied to. I have no idea how he got my new number - only five people know it to the best of my knowledge.
He didn't use his regular number to contact me either so I answered the first call and almost passed out when I heard his voice. I'd barely let him finish my name before ending the call in an alarmed frenzy. Every time I blocked an unknown number, a new one popped up in its place until I got so anxious I simply turned off my phone in a panic. Well, to be exact, I switched it off once I had somewhat recovered from a full blown panic attack.
Avoidance behaviour will not make the problem go away.
It's bizarre to feel so much gratitude towards my kidnapper, but in this moment I could kiss Harry - figuratively of course - for the security he's provided me. Not only is the apartment building heavily guarded by surprisingly discreet security patrols, but I never go anywhere alone. I use all these facts to rationalise not telling anyone about Evan; telling myself over and over that I am safe and won't knowingly put myself in a dangerous situation.
