Pepper Heart

1- Jay

My name is Jayne. Jayne Albuquerque Pimenta to be more precise. But if you prefer, you can just call me Jay. These memories are my way of trying to make peace with my past.

I have taken wrong paths several times. I could have taken a shortcut back then, but would I have become the person I am today? Who guarantees that the shortcut would have been easier? Would everything have worked out the same way in the end?

I acknowledge that I am somewhat impulsive and it has put me in quite complicated situations. I have made many mistakes and even repeated the same mistake, I won't try to say that I am a saint. I know I'm not. I have hurt many people. And of course, it won't always be possible to fully root for me (sometimes I look at my life and think "what a crazy mess was that, Jay? "What were you thinking when you did this stupid thing?" Like I said, sometimes I can be a little complicated, but I follow what my heart tells me (except when I should?).

I'll skip some things so as not to drag on more than necessary and start this story when I was 15 years old. It's been several years since then, so some details may escape my memory, but I promise I'll do my best to try to be as faithful as possible in the narrative.

I spent most of my life in the city of Arthur Medeiros, but I think maybe its name should be "Where nothing is what it seems" or "City of deceit." My experience tells me that almost everyone in it has something to hide, some secrets capable of shaking the lives of many people, including.

Before getting into the facts, I think it's better to introduce my family so that it will be easier to understand some things later on.

My mother's name is Tânia Albuquerque (previously, Pimenta; nowadays, Paixão). We haven't really been close all these years, and I was never her favorite daughter, as it won't be hard to notice as events unfold.

My father was Police Chief Celso Pimenta, but sometimes he presented himself as Cláudio Pereira (maybe I'll explain this later, even though it's a story for another time). No, he didn't die, I just wrote in the past because he's no longer a Police Chief and (I think) doesn't present himself like that anymore. He's quite controlling, and my love for freedom easily creates friction in relation to that.

I have a twin sister, Nátane, who, despite not being identical, is very similar to me (By the way, all of my father's daughters are quite similar to each other). We've always had a personal rivalry to be the better essence in similar bottles, and believe me, that can cause a lot of problems.

In addition to her, I have another full sister and a full brother, Noah, who is 4 years older than me, and Beatrice, who is almost two years younger. For the most part, I've always gotten along well with them, even when Noah wanted to strangle me for getting involved with one of his friends or when Beatrice decided to meddle where she wasn't invited.

I also have other siblings, who are just half-siblings. Beatriz is the daughter of my father and Fernanda, with whom he had an affair when my mother was pregnant with Nátane and me. She is 7 months younger than us and ironically, she was delivered by Fernanda and raised by another mistress of our father, Rosana, whom he later married and had another daughter, Jasmine, when I was almost 18 years old. Complicated, right? Don't even get me started. And it gets worse than that, just wait and you'll see why...

I must mention that he later reconnected with Fernanda and had another daughter with her, Amanda, who is one year younger than Beatrice. At the time when everything I will narrate began, we were unaware of her existence (as well as others, from different mothers who are not important now, as I have no contact with them).

Up until this point, the closest thing I had to a boyfriend was Maria's son, the maid from my childhood. He was raised in my house and lived there until Beatrice's 11th birthday. We had liked each other for a long time, but our only kiss was when Lucas said goodbye to me before moving in with his father in another state and never contacted me again. Yes, that was it. The story of my first love began and ended on the same day (before that neither of us had the courage to admit our feelings). Obviously, I was devastated. We were best friends before anything else, and I had the right to know in advance that he was leaving. Maybe then I would have been more prepared to see him go.

After I accepted that he was gone and not coming back, I decided to give Christian Vieira a chance. He was my best friend at the time, Cristina's brother, and he mustered up the courage to confess his feelings. Actually, Cris had already told me that he liked me, but I wasn't sure if it was true since he was rarely around when I visited their house. In hindsight, it was obvious that he was avoiding being in the same environment as me, probably out of fear of making a mistake. He was extremely shy and sometimes a little clumsy. I wasn't in love with him, so we didn't stay together for more than 3 months. In the end, he also realized that we didn't have much in common, so we broke up hours before a school dance, where I ended up kissing one of his brothers, whom he switched partners with, but I'll talk about that later in more detail..

After him, I went out for a few weeks with a boy named Christopher, but he was just passing through town and it didn't last longer than that. Not that I really wanted him to stay longer, between us. He was nice, smart, good-looking and all; but he wasn't exactly someone who made my heart beat faster.

The "Chris collection," as Beatrice would say, ends there, since the only other Chris I remember now is Christian's twin brother, Cristiano, and I wouldn't be with him because he would definitely be like twin-Natane, which means I prefer Christian's personality.

I think I'm trying to postpone the inevitable while I dwell on unnecessary matters. It's just that some parts are not going to be very easy to remember, but I know I have to face them once and for all.