Never again

Chapter 4

Carson -

I know I shouldn't be but I've lost control at this point I was sitting in front of the fireplace holding the broken picture that I'd thrown. I don't know how long I'd been staring down at it watching as my tears soaked the picture of me and Andy. I dreaded going into my old bedroom as there are hundreds of memories of me and Andy all over the place.

So I just sat here clutching onto this picture real tight a memory I felt was impossible to let go of.

Andy -

I pulled up to Carson's house and I noticed her car was parked in the driveway. I was so fucking nervous out of my mind just because I was afraid Carson might kick me out before giving me a chance to explain. I killed the engine and when I went to shut my car door I did it as silently as possible. Shoving my keys in my pocket I made my trip up her driveway to her front door.

I was about to knock on the door until I heard noise not like voices that are talking. I pressed my ear silently against the front door to get a better listen. The voice I was hearing wasn't talking but sniffling and crying only one person Carson. GOD DAMMIT  you'd never know how big my urge is to just knock this fucking door off its hinges. Run to Carson pulling her into my arms holding her and comforting her.

It litteraly broke my heart right here right now to hear her crying and I wasn't able to do nothing about it. At the same time I was trying to muster up the courage to simply knock on her front door. I felt like I was having a staring contest with her front door as I still hadn't knocked on her door. I still hadn't gathered up the courage to just simply knock and hope to God she answers.

I turned and walked back to my car getting in I stared at my steering wheel. I wasn't gonna get anywhere if I couldn't so much as knock on her front door let alone having a civil conversation. " Dammit! "

" You could have knocked I mean I'm not to thrilled to let a stranger in my home, but knocking would have been a good start. "

I was startled when I heard a tiny voice speaking I turned my head to see Carson. Wait!! What did she mean by stranger, did she not recognize me or something? I guess as we grow older our appearances not only mature but also change apparently. Her blue eyes were so glossy indicating they once held a bunch of tears, underneath her eyes were puffy and red.

She still has that long brown hair that I remembered it was naturally curly I always loved playing with her hair. Her lips were still full totally screamed KISS ME as long as your name isnt Andy. I remember how hard she tried every summer to get that golden tan she achieved it but never stayed for long. But I always thought her light skin still was more beautiful than ever also really soft.

" R-- right um what did you mean by stranger? "

I asked because I was dying to know why she thought I'm a stranger someone she didn't ever know.

She raised her eyebrow.

" What does the term stranger usually mean? "

Her sassy attitude was so adorable I know she meant well. Why the fuck was I studdering like an idiot!

" Of course dumb question. "

I chuckled to myself just going along with the conversation I didn't wanna rush into things to quickly.

" So what brings you to my house? Especially someone I don't know or perhaps recognize. "

Carson used her shirt to wipe away any left over tears and her smeared make up that was running down her cheeks. I also noticed she was holding onto a picture frame I couldnt quite see the picture but must be important if someone wanted to carry around a picture. But fuck I wasn't sure how to answer her question if I told her ' Hello I'm Andy remember me your old ex " I'm for sure she'd run away from me we far as possible.