wrestling blogs

Blog11

Welcome to back to my blog, today I will talk about my personal experience as a high functioning Autistic adult. Now not everyone who has or is diagnosed with Autism is on the same level. A lot of people believe or mistake it for Down Syndrome which is very common but they are two separate diagnosis. First of all in most cases of Autism there are sings on how to identify and they are avoiding eye contact, lack of affection and the most important one is having a routine or schedule which to follow. There more but I am not to list them because this blog about my personal experience.

I was first diagnosed at the age 6 and it was still new in the world so there wasn't much information on it so I had about 2 or 3 different therapist or social workers. I as was growing up, I didn't understand the word Autism since I didn't understand it took me most of my childhood to accept myself. Even though my childhood was normal as well as my memories are all filled with happiness, joyful, loving and fun. But when I ever went somewhere with my parents out in public it felt like everyone could tell that I was different or I will have some just stare at me like there was something was not right with me. To add icing to the cake I truly felt like I didn't belonged. It wasn't until my last therapist helped me to understand Autism.

So in my junior year in high school I was finally able to accept myself but it with all of difficulties and hardships. But the more I accepted myself the easier it got. I also realized that my "friends" were not my friends and it did hurt not going to lie to this day it still hurts because I never shared their interest. That me made really wish to be "normal". I would sometimes think that they had a fun great life. My faith wasn't at 100% either so I believe that had a big part of why I was feeling down or upset some or more like everyday of last year of high school.

Once I finished high school I felt like my luck was turning around when a big personal problem happened just after 3 months of me finishing school. It caused everything to be exposed within my family. My dad end up going to Mexico and about one month later my mom decided to leave as well and asked if I wanted to go with her but I was kind of in a state of shock or more like in a shut down mood. And I end up living with my oldest sister and her family which I still live with her. Now it the toughest year that I had because I would not join my sister and her family for a family day or other stuff they would do.

I wouldn't cry in front of my sister or anybody that only time that they would see me cry is when my dad would video call me. That broke me so much because he would apologize to me and say how much he wished that things would have ended differently. My dad was never a crier which why he wouldn't talk to me a lot since I am the baby of the family. I could always see it in his eyes or hear it in his voice the pain and the hurt. That's one of the things I am truly grateful. About 6 months after my mom came back but my relationship with her was not the same. Its gone better it still needs some work but it's getting there.

As for my dad, he passed away in January 2020. I found out on my day off and it was about 11 am and I was about to eat when my sister and my mom came back to the house, my sister moved me to the couch and handed my little nephew, as I held him in my arms its when she told me that my dad passed away. It felt like I was living in dream hoping to wake up but I knew that I wasn't dreaming. That is what really broke me and to this day I think about, there is a really good song that I listen to when I think about my dad, which I highly recommend.

After everything I was able to continue pushing forward with my life and all thanks to my oldest sister who has been my second mom to me and she has always believed in me as well the advice she always gives. Her husband who is a father figure to me and I love him like one as well. My nieces and nephews are the best supporters even though they get annoyed with me or my interest. But I wouldn't for a better family then them even if they also piss me off or annoy me too. So I guess that's it for today. If you want more deep details about this part of my life just send me a message here, leave a comment or send me a DM on twitter as well. Have a good night. Before I forget the song is One more time by Ian Young.