Our Heart (Rewritten)

Revelations

Peat fidgets with his hands under the table as he sits across from Fort. The latter had asked him earlier if they could meet up "casually" and after overthinking it for about one and a half hours, he finally agreed.

But now that they're here, he doesn't know how this casual meetup is supposed to go exactly. So far, they've only managed to make small talk mostly courtesy of Fort while Peat only responds to his questions and occasionally adds at the end of his sentences, "You?" As if that would improve the quality of their conversation.

Only half an hour into their date and Peat already wants to go home, not because he thinks Fort is not good company but because he thinks he himself is not good company. Because he didn't know what to talk about, Peat downed his coffee and slice of cake unintentionally fast and now, despite having only eaten a portion of his cake and drank a few sips of his drink, Fort gestures to the waiter for their bill.

"The vibe here is a bit too boring, huh?" Fort says lightly, not wanting Peat to think he's the reason their date is concluding so quickly even though he kind of is. He noted early on that Peat is quite uncomfortable and although he hoped he would loosen up as they go, Fort's not trying to rush into anything.

But being clueless as he is in terms of dating, Peat gives an honest answer and says, "Yes." But he quickly realizes how unnecessarily straightforward that was. "I-I mean..."

Fort shakes his head with a smile and assures him, "It's okay. I thought so too."

But Peat knows Fort is just saying that and it makes him inwardly curl up in embarrassment and guilt especially since he knows he is most likely to blame for this vibe, not the coffee shop.

When the bill arrives, he almost sighs in relief. He just wants to pardon Fort from this punishment of a date as soon as possible which is why he snatches the bill from the tray and hurriedly takes out his wallet.

"Uh, I'll pay. I'm the one who invited you." Fort tells him then, another scenario Peat has never encountered before. He and Noeul always paid for their own food except when one of them screwed up and they treat the other as a form of apology. But in this case, he's the screw up so he doesn't feel very good about letting Fort pay.

"No, no, I got it." He says, not giving the other much time to process that let alone argue.

In the end, Peat paid and usually, that's enough to put him at ease. But this time, he only felt worse especially when, for once, Fort couldn't hide the mild disappointment on his face.

The ride home is incredibly quiet, neither saying a word until they reached Peat's dorm and Fort says in a tone lacking his usual cheerfulness but still accommodated by his kind smile, "I'll walk you to your room."

It's late and he wants to make sure Peat gets home safe before heading to the dorm on the opposite side of the street from this one. Peat is hesitant but he doesn't argue this time.

"It's this one." Peat tells him once they're approaching his door. A part of him still thinks Fort will just spin on his heel and leave since he couldn't possibly want to spend another second with him and just took him this far to be a gentleman.

But as usual, Fort does the opposite and tells him with a soft nod, "Go inside first."

Peat is both grateful and overwhelmed by how well the boy treats him and he equally wants to run to him and away from him if that's even possible. He's just never known this kind of affection before.

Back when he was a child, having a single mom who also happens to be a nurse, he was accustomed to looking after himself and not making a fuss over not getting enough attention. How could he when his mother was saving lives? It would've just felt wrong to demand being prioritized over sick and dying people.