Our Heart (Rewritten)

Better

As sunlight softly streams into the living room and casts an angelic glow on Noeul's face, Boss watches him sleeping soundly. They're lying side by side, Noeul's head propped on Boss' arm and the boy's hand on his chest. The bit of Noeul's skin peeking from under the blanket shows his chest decorated with red hot hickeys around his scar like a constellation—proof that last night wasn't a dream.

Boss plants a soft kiss on his forehead and wipes the faint traces of tears on Noeul's face with his thumb. I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time, Boss says in his head, not wanting to disturb the boy's peaceful slumber.

Meanwhile, Boss hasn't slept a wink after they made love. And that's exactly what it was, not just hormonally fueled sex but an expression of love, of their true feelings that's often blurred and buried under too much considerations and confusion.

Last night, for the first time since he learned the truth, Boss saw, touched and held Noeul without thinking of Ple. And this enlightened him and assured him of what he actually knew all along, that he loves Noeul—for Noeul, not for Ple's heart or her memories.

Ple will always be a part of Boss' life and his love for Noeul doesn't make the love he once had for Ple any less real. But she's gone now and the hearts that once belonged to her are Noeul's now; both Ple's and Boss'.

That was some twisted trick fate pulled on them and it almost tore them apart—almost. But now, Boss knows better and he wants to protect Noeul—his love—at all cost which is why...he made up his mind not to tell Noeul the truth.

It's not that he doesn't trust Noeul's feelings for him; Boss is just scared Noeul might not be able to handle it. Boss, being perfectly strong and healthy, was nearly driven to madness by this revelation and he even fell ill, let alone Noeul who is already fragile to begin with.

And if something happens to Noeul, if Boss loses him...he might really not recover this time. So although he isn't sure if this is the right thing to do, for both their sakes, Boss will carry this secret to the grave.

He can only hope there are exceptions to the saying "all secrets get revealed" because in this particular case, Boss doesn't believe that the truth will set them free.

"Chaikamon?" Noeul mumbles in a half conscious state and to this, Boss pulls him closer and hums, "Hm?"

The boy can barely keep his eyes open yet he still manages to say albeit weakly, "I'm sorry 'bout what I said. You're not a coward. I didn't mean-"

"Shh." Boss coos, kissing Noeul's temple this time and letting the boy nuzzle up to the crook of his neck. "I'm the one who's sorry, Eul." Boss tells him then in a voice so gentle and quiet that, to Noeul, it sounds like a lullaby. "I was confused for sometime...but I'm sure of it now. I love you, Eul. Don't forget that."

~~~

When Noeul finally awakens at noon, he finds himself tucked snuggly under a blanket, lying on the couch but without Boss by his side. He sits up so suddenly, it gives him a headache. Not only that, but his back feels as though it's about to snap.

"Ow." He groans, not knowing whether to grab his head or his hip. But then, he hears a soft chuckle and his eyes fly open to find Boss standing behind the kitchen counter, smiling fondly at him while pouring coffee into a mug.

"You're awake."

For a moment, Noeul just stares almost in disbelief. He had always secretly imagined a life where he would wake up in the arms of his lover or to him making breakfast and giving Noeul the princess treatment but he never thought it would actually happen. And he feels even more blessed that it's Boss, someone who treasures him and vice versa.