a book about Elora and everyone when they were younger to show you what led up to what you've read in previous books such as Falling in Love and Sweet. i'm writing this to give you all a background story essentially, i hope you enjoy it !
dark topic...
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it's been a couple of months since Zack and i's argument went public. ever since then, i haven't been posting on social media because i was getting so much hate from his fans accusing me of 'ruining his life' which i don't understand.
i can't believe it's the end of February already.
you probably won't agree with my decision but i'm still dating him, i just think with all the love i have to give that maybe i can fix him? you know, help him become more confident and happy even if it hurts me.
i spent our 1 year anniversary, valentine's day, christmas, and new years alone.
i still haven't spoke to the guys, not even Tobi and i live with him. not talking with Tobi hurts me the most because we were so close and i hate to ruin that but i feel like i have no choice in a way.
i'm scared that they won't accept me into their lives since i've been so distant but they just don't understand my current way of thinking.
i haven't drank alcohol since being back at home and i found myself craving it, i think i just miss that numb feeling.
Zack was in LA still bc he thought it'd be better for him to stay out there. i don't trust him but i have a little hope that he won't cheat but not much hope though.
i had a doctors appointment today and was diagnosed with a shit ton of things. like apparently i have bpd and adhd and depression and anxiety? i was given medication, they gave me Adderall for my adhd and anti-depressants.
a lot of change is happening and honestly i'm not sure how to feel about it but on a positive note i've been writing songs as a way of journaling.
the lyrics i have written so far are 'shouldn't love you but i couldn't help it, had a feeling that you never felt it, i always knew that you were too damn selfish'
i can't figure out what else to write at the moment but it's probably due to the fact that it's 4am and i'm still awake.
oh well i guess.
A/N: just a short catch up chapter aka inside of Elora's brain bc i'm already sick of Zack but one more chapter and he's gone 🚶♀️
