I'm not

June 10

Dear Vic,

I've decided to write these lousy letters to you, though I know you will never get to read them. That's totally okay if you never do! It's my intention for you to not find these.

Truth be told, I've liked you for a long time. Ever since that one night where you were too drunk to stand upright and had to call me to pick you up because you had fallen on the street and broken your glasses. I remember holding you while you cried over that asshole who dares calling you his, and thinking why would anyone hurt such an amazing person? I remember staring into your beautiful big brown eyes and being mesmerized by the emotion you hold in them, and then I let my gaze flicker down to your lips and a swarm of bees began to riot in the pit of my stomach. I had to hold you to my chest as you sobbed, and the sounds you made were enough to break me down. I held you tight that night while you slept and let out some tears of my own.

Over the course of three months, I stayed quiet. I let you drift away from me just to see how far you would swim out and boy, did you swim! I sometimes wonder if you're eager to be far away from me, but you promised you would never leave. Does that mean you'll stay even if you hate me? Would you even stay?

I'm gonna be honest with you, Vic. It took me a while to come to terms with these feelings for you. I thought it was one of those weird phases everyone seems to go through, but then it didn't go away. I figured I'd tell you when I had you alone, but you already had Alex and Jaime to stress about. I didn't want to add more weight on your shoulders over something that's not worth spending your time on.

In conclusion, I'm going to go with the quote "Do it now, remember it later", and just come out and tell you how I truly feel. Better do it now before I chicken out.

I really hope you don't hate me after this.

Apparently your best friend,
Kellin.